


Checkmate

by WinchestersRaven



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Captain of the football team Dean Winchester, Complete, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Homophobic Language, M/M, Mary is alive John is dead, Minor Character Death, Oral Sex, Slow Build, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Track runner Castiel, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-04-01 18:52:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 56,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4030825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinchestersRaven/pseuds/WinchestersRaven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Novak is a track star at his school Lawrence High. Dean Winchester is the captain of the football team. They are both kings of the school in their own way. When these two finally come together; will they be a force to be reckoned with? Or will they both find what they had been looking for all along?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Awake

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick note; Castiel isn't socially awkward in this fic. Please leave me comments and let me know what you think. This is my first High School AU.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of any Supernatural character.  
> My "Original" characters are based on actual people but their background in the story is a pure work of fiction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning possible slurs in different chapters.

Ever get the feeling you’re being watched? The tiny hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and your whole body hums with awareness. That is exactly what Castiel Novak feels like when he goes out to run track at school. His body hums with someone watching him, but who could it be? 

The track he runs, unfortunately, is shared with the football team while they practice. It never made sense, considering they have a football field at the school, but then again, nothing the school did made sense to Castiel. Not that Castiel was failing school or anything. It was quite the opposite actually. He was intelligent and excelled in all of his classes.

Castiel steps out on the track and sits down to start his stretches. He had arrived at school early that morning so he could have the field to himself, but there were other students that would get there early as well. He looks around the field to survey and find out who exactly is watching him, but he can’t see anyone. He shrugs off the feeling and continues to get ready to run.

Castiel picks himself up, gets in position, and mentally counts down. He takes off running like a flash. The rush of adrenaline running through him is amazing, and he loves the way it feels. As he rounds the second corner of the track, he lays eyes on the captain of the football team sitting in the bleachers. None other than Dean ‘fuck why are you so sexy’ Winchester. He looks like he is tracking every movement Castiel makes.

Castiel throws Dean his best ‘fuck me’ smile, knowing the chances of that happening are slim to none. Okay, it’s closer to none. But hey, it doesn’t hurt to mess with Winchester’s head.

Dean and Castiel are both kings of the high school in their own right. Last year their paths only crossed during classes they had together. In math class, Dean’s desk was right in front of Castiel, and in history class, they sat across from each other. Every now and again Castiel would attend a party and Dean would be there, but, for the most part, they rarely spoke.

Castiel slows down when he crosses the finish line. Sweat is pouring down his face, so he sits down for a minute to get his breathing back to normal. He looks around to see Dean watching him closely. Castiel briefly breaks eye contact while wiping the sweat from his brow, but when he looks back up, he notices Dean lick his lips, smile, then get up and walk off. That’s Dean Winchester for you, Class A flirt. Castiel knows that Dean flirts so much that it’s like second nature to him, so it didn’t necessarily mean anything.

Standing up to head to the school and take a shower, Castiel feels someone suddenly jump on his back. He doesn’t even have to guess who it is. “Get off my back, trick,” Castiel teases. The person wraps their legs around Castiel’s hips.

“No way, Cassie, carry me inside,” Zara replies. Zara Robnett and Castiel had been best friends since they were ten. She stands at five foot three inches and is one hundred and five pounds soaking wet. She is a true definition of Irish descent from her alabaster skin, curly, flame red hair, blue eyes, to her fiery temper.  

“Fine, but I’m sweat-soaked so don’t bitch about it later.” He grabs her legs and starts running towards the school, Zara giggling the entire time. When they make it to the door Castiel puts her down.

“Thank you, bitch, I didn’t want to walk,” Zara snarks, and then leans forward to kiss him on the cheek.

“Hmm, did you have another long night riding some random jock?”

Laughing, she replies, “Why, are you jealous, Cassie?”

“Um no, I’m not. Not in the least. I could get more dick than you if I wanted to,” he shoots back with a smile as he opens the door, letting her walk through first. “I have to hit the shower before class. I’ll meet you in homeroom.”

Zara nods and walks off in the other direction. Castiel turns the corner and heads down the long hallway to the gym. Once inside, he heads through the boy’s locker room and over to his locker. Grabbing the fresh clothes he stuffed in there earlier, he heads back to the showers. The cold water rushing over his body cools him off as he makes quick work of getting clean. Applying shampoo, he washes and rinses his hair last.

Once he is done, he wraps one of the towels furnished by the school around his waist, picks up his dirty track clothes, and walks back to his lockers. He dresses in his dark denim jeans, casual slips on shoes, and white tank top. He grabs his black button down, which he slips on and leaves unbuttoned. Stuffing his dirty clothes in the locker, he heads back out into the gym. The gym teacher is already there, and Castiel smiles and waves at Mr. Turner before walking out into the main hallway.

He pulls out his phone and notices he only has three minutes left, so he sprints all the way there. Once inside the classroom, he sits down beside Zara. The other students come in one by one. Charlie Bradbury, Castiel’s other best friend, walks in and takes the desk right in front of him.

Since the teacher seemed to be running behind, the three of them talk about the year ahead of them. Charlie turns around, “Ready for our senior year, guys?”

“It doesn’t feel any different than the last year, or the one before that, Charlie,” Castiel answers, tugging on a few strands of her hair. “You two wanna to come over to my house after school? My parents are out of town traveling for the next few months.”

“Hell yes, we do. How did you get so lucky having parents who leave you alone,” Zara asks while twirling her hair in her fingers.

Castiel shrugs, “I’ve never given them a reason not to trust me. Plus, they figure since I can take care of myself and they’re retired, they have time to travel now. Hester is married with kids of her own, Michael is fresh out of law school, and Lucifer is in his last year of med school so that just leaves Gabe and me at home. But Gabe works at that bakery on Fifth Street now, so he won’t be paying much attention to what I’m doing.”

“Are we still going to KU for college, Chewie,” Charlie asks while rummaging in her bag for her notebook.

“That’s the plan, Han,” Castiel answers, giving her a big grin.

Mr. Miller finally walks in the classroom and gets everyone’s attention. “Welcome to the first day of your senior year here at Lawrence High. I have everyone’s new schedule of classes, and also your locker assignments.”

Before he can continue, the door to the classroom opens up and in walks Bela Talbot and Dean Winchester. “Ah, Mr. Winchester and Miss Talbot, so glad you actually found time in your busy schedules to attend home room. Both of you find a seat.” For the rest of their homeroom period, Mr. Miller goes over the standard school rules, what is expected of all the students, and the syllabus. 

* * *

 

The day seems to be flying by pretty quick. At lunch, Charlie, Zara, and Castiel sit at a table together just bullshitting about their day. “I actually have to take theater this year,” Zara complains, tossing her schedule on the table. “I don’t like the teacher at all. He gives me the creeps. He always stared at me in the hallway last year.”

“That’s because you have a banging body, girl,” Charlie replies in a matter of fact tone.

Shaking her head, Zara snarks, “Thank you, Bradbury. I’ll keep that in mind if I ever decide I want some hot, redhead on redhead action.”

Charlie hums, “I’d die a happy woman.” She looks over at Castiel and asks, “What’s your next class?”

Castiel runs a hand through his hair and looks at his schedule. “AP Chemistry, and then I have Trigonometry afterward.”

Zara grimaces, “Brutal classes back to back. Someone must love you,” she finishes, rolling her eyes.

“No big deal, I’m used to it by now. You know my parents. This is a cake walk compared to the home studies I’ve had to do.”

“That’s what you get for having physicists for parents,” Zara replies and flicks Castiel’s ear.

“You are such a pain in the ass, Zara,” Castiel groans.

“True, but you love me.” Zara leans over, laying her head on Castiel’s shoulder.

The bell rings and all three of them get up and to throw away their trash and finished lunches. They agree to meet after school and head to Castiel’s. At his locker, Castiel pulls out another notebook and closes it back. Someone shoves him hard, and he stumbles forward, but catches himself with his hands on the wall.  He turns around to see Victor Henriksen.

Castiel’s first instinct is to punch the jackass’s face in, but he thinks twice about it and instead asks, “What the fuck was that for?”

“Oh, sorry faggot, I didn’t see you there,” Victor replies as a smirk crosses his face.

“Is that the best you can come up with, douche?”

Victor crosses his arms over his chest, “Watch how you talk to me, boy, or I’ll make sure you regret it.”

“What problem do you have with me, Victor? I know it’s not because I’m gay since you have plenty of friends who are.”

Castiel put a finger on his chin like he is in thought.  He hums and says, “Is it because you are so deep in the closet you’re in fucking Narnia?”

Castiel sees a dark look flash in Victor’s eyes. “Oh I think I hit a sore spot, didn’t I? I bet the truth is you want my cock, don’t ya?”

Castiel steps closer to Victor, leans in close to his ear and lowers his voice, “You want me to shove you up against a wall and make you scream my name?”

He steps back and tilts his head, “Hate to break it to you, but you’re not my type, sweetheart.” The term of endearment said in a sarcastic tone.  

Victor shoves Castiel up against the wall and goes to punch him. Before he’s able to make contact, someone grabs his arm and pulls him back.

“Cool it, Victor,” Dean demands, while putting himself in between them. “Don’t get yourself kicked off the team before we even start. Get your ass to class.”

“What are you defending this worthless piece of shit for,” Victor asks, trying to get around Dean.

“It ain’t even about him, man. It’s about your dumb ass starting a fight over nothing. Remember coach said last year that if you start one more fight you’re off the team. Now come on, let’s go.”  

Victor nods at Dean and they walk off down the hall. Before they round the corner, Victor stops and calls out, “This ain’t over, Novak.”

“I’ll make sure to pencil you in for next time, dickhead,” Castiel retorts and then heads off to his next class.

* * *

 

Finally, the bell for the end of the day rings. Castiel walks out the front of the school and makes his way to his motorcycle where Zara and Charlie are already waiting on him. Castiel mounts his bike, puts his helmet on, and looks over at the girls.

“I was thinking I’ll stop by and grab some pizza, and then meet you at your house, Chewie,” Charlie says as she rocks back and forth on her heels.

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Castiel replies taking out his wallet and handing her money. Looking to Zara, he asks, “You riding with her or me?”

Zara doesn’t answer, just gets on the back of the bike behind Castiel, grabs the extra helmet and puts it on, she then wraps her arms around his waist. Charlie salutes them, walks over to her black VW bug that she dubbed 'the Death Star' and gets in.

Castiel starts up the bike, revs it a little, and then takes off. He flies down the road, weaving in and out of traffic, but keeping it at the speed limit.

Fifteen minutes, later Castiel parks his bike in the garage of his house. It’s a white, three-story house with red window shutters, and a wraparound porch.  

Castiel unlocks the door leading from the garage, and walks inside, Zara following close behind him. Kicking off his shoes, he takes off his over shirt and lays it on the back of the couch, then goes to unlock the door so Charlie can get in, and heads over to join Zara on the couch, laying his head on her lap and stretching out.

They have always been this close for as long as Castiel can remember. Before people found out about his sexuality, they thought Castiel and Zara were dating.

“So, I heard Victor and you got into it at school,” Zara says as she runs her hand through his dark brown hair.

Castiel looks up at her, “Does that surprise you?”

She hums, “No, not really, Cassie. I just don’t get what his deal is with you.”

“Fuck if I know. But he probably didn’t like the fact that I said he's in the closet and wants my body,” he says, starting to laugh.

Zara laughs along, “Does he really?”

Shrugging, he replies, “I was bullshitting at first, but with his reaction, I’m not so sure. I don’t care, though, as long as he stays off my ass.”

“I heard Dean Winchester stopped Victor from punching you.”

“He did. Apparently, Coach Marks said one more fight and Victor would be off the team. It’s not surprising. Their coach doesn’t like trouble makers.”

They hear the sound of the front door opening. "Hey, bitches, pizza is here,” Charlie calls out as she walks into the living room. She places the pizzas on the coffee table, then places her hands on her hips. “Chewie, are you cheating on me?”

“Of course not, my captain, there is enough of me to share,” he replies, smiling.

Charlie grins, “If only you were female.”

“Or in my case, straight,” Zara comments and grabs a slice of pizza.

Castiel places a hand over his heart. “Story of my life,” he teases.

All three of them sit on the floor next to each other while they eat. Castiel has to repeat the story of his encounter to Charlie. Apparently, word travels fast around the school.

“Wait, let me get this straight, no pun intended. Dean Winchester… Dean fricken Winchester stopped you from getting punched by one of his friends?” Charlie asks in disbelief.

“Yeah, what’s the big deal? Their coach said if Victor started trouble he was off the team.”

“That’s an empty threat and Dean knows it,” Charlie replies.

Castiel rolls his eyes, “Coach Marks doesn’t make empty threats.”

“Uh, yeah he does. When it comes to his best players, he always says that kind of stuff and never follows through.”

Castiel hums and asks, “Wait, you know this how?”

Charlie reaches for another slice of veggie pizza and smiles. “The Winchesters are like my second family, you know that. Plus, I heard Marks tell Cole the same thing last year and he got in, like, five fights after. Also, he showed up to practice hung over.”

Castiel thinks it over for a minute. “Well regardless, maybe he was just trying to keep Victor out of trouble.”

Charlie shrugs her shoulders. “Who knows what goes on in Dean’s head."

The topic of Dean gets dropped and they move to normal school conversation. All three of them lay on the floor, listening to music while working on the homework they were assigned. Every now and again one of them thumps the other, or pulls each other’s hair. It is routine with the three of them since they started high school three years ago. In a way, it was like they never grew up. They were still the same kids that met all those years ago.

Castiel knows he is lucky to have them. They are the reason he was never lonely when he was younger. When his oldest siblings were still in the house, they rarely had anything to do with him, considering the age difference. Gabe was the exception to that. He was ten when Castiel was born and had always looked out for his younger brother. Of course, it did change when Gabe went into high school, but he still made time for his younger brother. Gabe moved back in after his breakup with his longtime girlfriend, Kali.   

After they finish up their homework, Charlie leaves to go home. Castiel and Zara decide to hit the pool, and after about an hour of swimming and splashing each other, they get out. They take turns in the shower, Zara borrowing one of Castiel’s t-shirts and a pair of his shorts that has a drawstring.

“Are you crashing here for the night or am I taking you home?” Castiel asks when he gets back to his room. He had on his ‘pajamas’, which is just a white tank top and shorts. Zara is on his bed, leaning back against the headboard.

“Mom was drinking the heavy stuff this morning when I left for school. I’ll crash here if you don’t mind.”

Zara’s mother had always been a raging alcoholic. The fights between mother and daughter were never pretty. Castiel’s parents more than once had to pick up a crying Zara in the middle of the night and bring her back to their house. She would always crawl in Castiel’s bed, and he would hold her tight until she stopped crying and fell asleep. It was no different now. All it would take is one phone call and Castiel would be up and out the door without a second thought.

Castiel nods and pulls the blanket back on the other side of the bed. “Yeah, then I’d rather have you here. I’ll take you over to your house in the morning to get a change of clothes.” Castiel sits down on the bed and sets his alarm a little earlier than usual. That way there would be plenty of time for Zara to get dressed and then get to school so Castiel could run.

He gets comfortable in bed, pulling the sheet up to his waist and turns off the lamp on his bedside table. They watch a couple shows on Netflix until they both are yawning so hard their eyes water. He turns off the TV and lies on his back. Zara settles in close to him, and soon he can hear her breathing even out. Castiel falls asleep soon after, dreaming of a green-eyed boy.   

[Godsmack - Awake - Chapter Title Inspiration](https://youtu.be/opU1urLhw50)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	2. Below Me Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> It's kinda hard for me to write Sam since he is 13 in this fic... hopefully I do an okay job.  
> Warning possible slurs in different chapters.

“Dean,” the voice sounds so far away. He turns over on his side and settles back in his bed. “Dean Michael,” the voice comes again, his mother’s voice. Damn it all he wants to do is sleep. Dean pulls a pillow over his head to drown out her voice. “Dean Michael Winchester.” His eyes fly open and he groans. He glances over at the clock. It’s a little after eight in the morning, Saturday morning to be exact. Shit. He has to watch Sam while his mom works. Dean gets up, pulls on his jeans, and makes his way down the hall.

Sam is sitting on the couch with a bowl of cereal in his hands watching a documentary. Dean shakes his head and walks into the kitchen where his mother is. Mary Winchester, the best mother anyone could ask for. She gives him a smile that reaches her blue eyes. She pours a cup of coffee and hands it to him, then she reaches up and pulls her blonde hair into a loose ponytail.

“I have to work a double tonight,” Mary tells Dean as she smoothes out her blue scrubs, “so I won’t be in until late. You’ll have to handle dinner tonight. Oh, and no Bela. I don’t like her being around Sam. She’s a bad influence, and if she’s here then you will be too preoccupied with her.”

“We're not dating mom, so no worries there,” he replies and takes a long drink of his coffee.

“Dating, sleeping together, whatever you want to call it, Dean. I’m not dumb. I was young once.” She gives him a smile, stands on tiptoes, kisses his forehead, and then walks into the living room. Mary leans over the back of the couch and ruffles Sam’s shaggy brown hair. “I’ll be back later boys. Be good, or as good as you two can be,” Mary says before she walks out the door.

“Sammy, do you have homework to do?” Dean asks as he sits down on the couch.

Sam looks over at him and rolls his eyes. “No, Dean, I finished it last night.”

Dean nods and turns his attention to the TV. It sometimes amazes him how different he and Sam really are. Sure Dean is smart, but school bores him to tears. He is more of a hands-on type of person.

After about ten minutes, Dean looks at his brother, “How about we go play basketball, Sam? What do you say? Play a little one on one, quality brother time since we haven’t done that in awhile.”

Sam smiles, “That’s because you’ve been too far up Bela’s ass since you two started dating.”

Dean punches his brother in the arm, not too hard, but hard enough to make him flinch. “Language, Samantha! That’s not true and you know it. Besides, we broke up last week.”

“Oh wow, a Dean Winchester record right there, four months!” Sam says in a snarky tone. Dean and Bela had started dating before the school year ended, and three weeks into the new school year they broke up. What Sam said was true, though. He was never with a girl longer than a month or two. Sam pushes himself up from the couch, “I’m only giving you hell. Let me get dressed and we can go.”

Dean gets up, goes to his own room and changes quickly. Once dressed, he goes into the kitchen, grabs two frozen waffles and pops them in the toaster. By the time they are done, Sam is ready to go, basketball resting between his right arm and his waist.

With the waffles in hand, they walk out of the house, locking it behind them and strolling over to the Impala, Dean’s baby. The 1967 black Chevrolet Impala had been passed down to Dean after his father passed away two years ago.

John Winchester was a military man, and ruled his family with an iron first, but was still a very loving person. He taught Dean everything he knew about working on cars. They both spent many hours restoring the Impala to its former glory.

Ten minutes later, Dean pulls into a parking space. The park that stretched out before them had been there as long as Dean can remember. There are updated additions of course. At one end is a small playground for children, the other end held the basketball court.  Around the entire parameter is a paved walkway where people would often walk, jog, or run. There are various benches spread throughout the park, along with a few picnic tables.

The brothers walk toward the empty court. Soon, both boys were jumping up trying to knock the ball out of the others hand. Dean finally has the ball again and is running to line up the shot when he sees a familiar figure running toward them in the distance. He stops, his attention immediately drawn to the person. Dark brown hair plastered to his forehead, blue eyes shining. Castiel Novak.  _Damn it,_ Dean thinks to himself. It’s not like Dean hated the guy, but for some reason he has been on Dean’s mind a lot lately, and he can’t figure out why. They rarely ever spoke. As Castiel passes, he looks over at Dean and a huge smile crosses his face.  _Son of a bitch._

“Ground control to Major Tom,” Sam shouts.

Dean turns back to his brother. “What Sammy?” Sam chuckles, shaking his head,

“Dude, you’ve been holding the ball for a good three minutes now. Are you going to take a shot or what?” Dean doesn’t answer; he looks back at the goal, jumps up, and sinks the ball.

* * *

 

Castiel finishes his sixth lap around the park. His heart rate is where he wants it, and he decides he is done for the day. He walks over to his truck that is parked out in front of the basketball court. He opens the door, leans in, and turns it on.

Castiel reaches for his CD case and flips through it. He pulls Metallica out, and puts it in the player. As soon as the music starts, he turns it up and rolls all four windows down. He shuts the truck door, walks back over, and sits down on the ground to do his stretches. Castiel always stretches before and after he runs. He doesn’t pay much attention to Dean and the younger boy playing ball, although earlier he did notice Dean looking at him while he ran by.

He is in mid-stretch of his left leg when he hears, “DUCK!” Castiel looks up in time to see the basketball come flying in his direction. He reaches up and catches it mid-air before it hits him. Castiel stands up; the younger boy comes running over to him.

“Nice catch, dude. I’m Sam. You go to high school with my brother right?”

Without thinking, Castiel says, “I’m usually good with balls when they come flying at my face.” Groaning when he realizes what he said, he adds, “Yes, I go to the same school as Dean. I’m Castiel. It’s nice to meet you.”

Sam scrunches his nose, “Castiel?”

Castiel laughs and nods, “I know, weird name right? My parents were on a religious kick and named my siblings and me after angels.” Castiel looks behind Sam to see Dean walking in their direction.

“Metallica? I didn’t peg you for a rock band type of guy.” Dean says when he joins them.

Castiel eyes him closely, crosses his arms over his chest and replies, “Metallica, Zep, AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Ozzy, all are a few of what I listen to.” Castiel smiles and then says, “I’m not exactly the typical, ‘Sound of Music’, light on his feet gay boy.”

Dean throws his hands back in defense, “Dude that’s not what I meant at all. I was just surprised… actually, I have no idea what I thought you listened to.” Castiel locks eyes with Dean.

Without breaking eye contact, he then tilts his head and laughs. “I know, I’m sorry, I was teasing. I forget sometimes that people don’t realize when I do.”

Sam looks back and forth between Castiel and his brother, “Are you two done eye fucking?”

Dean glares at his brother, “What did I say about language, Samantha?”

Sam’s lips quirk up, “I call it as I see it. Hey, Castiel, want to shoot some hoops with us?”

Castiel looks over at Dean again. “I’m actually not that great at basketball. Plus I need to shower.”

Sam nods, “Yeah it’s hot as hell out here now. Dean and I are just wasting time. It’s better than being bored at home.”

Castiel looks at Sam and smiles, “Well if it’s cool with your brother, you two can come back to my place. We have an indoor pool.”

Of course, that sets Sam off, begging Dean to let them go. Dean only relents when Sam gives him the puppy dog eyes that he can’t say no to. “You sure it’s cool? Your parents won’t mind?” Dean asks.

Castiel shakes his head. “My parents are gone for the next few months, if they come back at all this year that is. You can follow me if you want, or I’ll text you the address.”

Sam pulls out his phone and asks Castiel for his number, then sends a text to Castiel’s phone. “Text us the address, we have to get something to swim in.”

All three of them walk over to leave the park. Castiel stops dead in his tracks, staring at the Impala. Dean cocks a grin, “My baby’s pretty, isn’t she?”

Castiel continues to look the car over, “Pretty isn’t the word for her. She’s beautiful, ‘67, right? I’d give my left nut for a car like this.”

Dean nods. “Yeah ‘67 man, you know about cars?”

Castiel looks at Dean, who is now standing near him. “I know enough. One of my cousins owns a ranch in Texas. I go out there almost every year. We sometimes hit up car shows.”

Dean walks over to the driver’s door and gets in, “Wanna hear her purr?”

Castiel nods enthusiastically, “Fuck yeah I do.” Dean grins and starts the engine, stepping on the gas to rev it.

Castiel closes his eyes and lets his head fall back, just listening to the car run. When Dean releases the gas, Castiel says, “Damn, she sounds as beautiful as she looks.” They talk for a few more minutes and then they take off in separate directions. 

* * *

After Castiel showers, he changes into his swim trunks and a black tank top. He walks downstairs to wait on Dean and Sam. He doesn’t have to wait long before he hears a knock on the door. When he opens the door, his eyes immediately land on Dean’s bare chest. Castiel can’t stop himself from running his eyes down Dean’s body. When his eyes finally come back up he sees Dean smiling. Sam clears his throat. “Shit, I’m sorry. Come in guys. Follow me, the pool is out back,” Castiel starts walking to the back of the house.

“Nice house, Castiel,” Sam says before they step outside.

“Thank you. I’m supposed to inherit it, but I’ll probably wind up giving it to one of my siblings. It’s too big for one person.”

Once they are in the pool area, Castiel takes off his tank top with his back to Sam and Dean. “Whoa, dude, your ink is badass. What does it mean,” Dean asks.

Cas turns around and sighs, “Its Latin.  _Nunquam ergo Diabolus victores_  roughly translates to ‘never let the devil be victorious’.  _En_ habetur _in_ oculis eius _,_ illic mea daemonium pellibus _._  That is basically ‘look in my eyes, it’s where my demon hides’.”

Dean steps down into the water, “That’s deep Cas.” Castiel doesn’t bat an eye when Dean shortened his name. Instead, he nods, “Yeah it holds a lot of meaning for me.”

Castiel picks up the remote to turn on the stereo. Lynyrd Skynyrd’s  _‘Simple Man’_  starts playing. Castiel sits on the side of the pool with his legs in. “So what is the meaning of the tat?” Sam asks.

Dean smacks him in the arm. “Did it ever occur to you that he doesn’t want to tell the story, Sammy?”

Castiel huffs a laugh, “It's fine. I got it after I fought 'my demons'. The chain around the angel wing and the demon wing wrapped around the sword signify that it’s a constant battle between who I want to be and who I should be, and the truth keeps me balanced. The truth on the sword reminds me to be true to myself. To be honest about the real me, I’ll never hide anything about my life to make someone else more comfortable.” Thankfully, that seemed to satisfy Sam’s question. Before long, Dean and Sam are splashing around in the pool and dunking each other.

Castiel stands up to change the station on the stereo. Dean gets out of the pool and runs in his direction. He picks up Castiel like he weighs nothing and tosses him in the pool. Castiel shoots up out of the water laughing, “What the hell man?”

Dean is laughing so hard he is holding his stomach, “I wanted to get you wet.”

Castiel’s eyebrow arches, and thankfully he doesn’t say the comeback that first comes to his mind. Instead, he says, “You’re an asshole.”

Dean’s laughing fit finally ends and he smiles, “It’s been said.” Then he dives into the deep end and swims over to Castiel. He breaks water right behind Castiel, and then grabs his shoulders and dunks him back under the water. When Castiel comes back up, he splashes water in Dean’s face.

* * *

About two hours later they are still in the pool, horsing around and listening to music. The pool room door opens and in walks Zara. “There you are, Cassie. I’ve called you a zillion times.” Zara looks back and forth between all three guys.

Castiel smiles and says, “Sorry to make you worry. I ran into Dean and his brother, Sam, at the park when I was out for my run. I invited them back here to swim. I must have left my left my phone inside.”

Zara puts a hand on her hip and shifts her weight to her right leg. “Don’t ever do that to me again, Castiel,” she scolds in a playful tone.

Castiel puts up his middle finger at her, which makes her shake her head. “Zara, you left your bikini upstairs in my room if you want to get in.” Zara turns around, saying she would be back and leaves the room.

“Dude, if I didn’t know that you’re gay, I’d think you were sleeping with her,” Dean comments when the door clicks shut.

Castiel laughs and looks over at him. “I am.”

Both Dean and Sam’s eyebrows arch up.

Castiel laughs even harder. “I literally sleep with her. As in she and I fall asleep in the same bed, fully clothed. She’s my best friend. We’ve been through some major shit together.”

When Zara walks back in, Castiel gets out of the pool, throws her over his shoulder and jumps back in with her. She comes back up for air and jumps on Castiel’s back in the water, "You fucking suck! You know I hate getting my hair wet. Now I'm gonna look like curly sue in three minutes." She gets out of the pool and sits on the side with her feet in the water.

"I noticed you have a couple of tattoos Z. How did y'all manage that? Neither one of you are eighteen," Dean says.

Zara looks at her best friend smiles. "My older brother knows a guy. He's a kick-ass artist."

Sam, being the curious little shit that he is, asks Zara the meaning of hers.

"The demon and lady between my shoulder blades represent mine and Cassie's friendship.  _Requiesce egoportabo_. Rest now I will carry you." Zara rubs a hand over her ribs where the tattoo is and sighs, " _Pupillam_ nocet _de_ ligno _dolor_. The apple hurts from the tree of pain."

Sam gives her a curious look, "What does that mean?" She stands up and says, "I really don't want to get into it." Then she dives in the pool.

Dean looks over to his brother. "Damn it, Sam, just leave it."

After another hour passes, Dean and Sam decide to head back home. They both thank Castiel for inviting them over, and he tells them they are welcome to do it again anytime. Upstairs, Castiel and Zara take turns showering off the chlorine from the pool. Once they are both dressed, they head back down and into the kitchen.

Castiel doesn’t see anything good to eat, so he suggests ordering take-out from a Chinese restaurant that delivers. When the food arrives, they walk into the kitchen where Castiel jumps up on the counter and sits while eating. Zara sits in a chair, facing him. After a long silence, she looks over at him. “I can literally hear you thinking, Cassie. What’s wrong?”

Castiel sits down his food, hops off the counter, and starts pacing back and forth. Zara follows him with her eyes. Finally, he sighs, “I’m fucked!”

Zara gets up and walks over to him, “Why are you fucked this time?”

Castiel turns his back towards her and mumbles, “Because I’m a dumbass and I have a crush on a straight guy.”

She smiles even though Castiel can’t see her, “No big deal, Cassie. I have crushes on straight guys all the time.” Castiel turns around and glares at her. “Okay… okay, don’t panic. How do you know for SURE he is straight?”

He rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, “Because he is Dean Winchester.”

Zara’s eyes go wide, “Oh holy… shit Castiel! Are you fucking shitting me?” Then she smiles pleasantly. “I mean, umm, Oh… Well, okay so pretty good odds he’s straight.”

Castiel looks her dead in the eyes, “Bite me, bitch.”

Zara closes the space between them, lays her head on his chest, and makes puppy dog eyes up at him. She sticks out her bottom lip, slightly pouting. "Okay. I'm sorry I suck. But it’s not that bad."

She steps back and puts both hands on his chest. She looks up at him and attempts to look him in the eyes. "People have crushes on people all the time that they can't have. Even me, and that's saying something. For example, I would jump your bones in a second, but you play for the wrong team, whatever, I got over that in middle school. It happens, sugar pop. It’s life. I love you to death, but, I promise the world will not end because you have a crush on a straight guy."

Castiel ruffles Zara’s hair, "Does it matter if it sort of feels like it will?"

She shakes her head. "Nope, not one bit, but that’s why they made chocolate and chick flicks." Zara grabs Castiel’s hand, pulls him into the living room, and grabs the remote. She makes Castiel sit down, then walks over and goes through the movies.

She selects one, puts it in, and walks back to join him on the couch. When the music starts playing, Castiel groans, “Dirty Dancing, really?”

Zara jabs him in the ribs, “If I remember correctly, you’re the one that bought this.”

Without missing a beat, Castiel says, “Shut up. It’s a classic. If you tell anyone…”

Zara nods her head, “Yeah I know. You’ll kill me and hide my body.”

Castiel laughs, “You forgot I’ll make it slow and painful.” He throws an arm behind her and she snuggles in close, laying her head on his chest.

“I love it when you talk dirty to me, Cassie.” While they watch the movie, they repeat the lines word for word.

When the final dance scene comes on, Castiel gets up takes Zara’s hand. He pulls her close and says, “No one puts baby in the corner.” Zara laughs and shakes her head.

They’ve done this a million times before while watching the movie. The song  _“Time of My Life”_  starts playing, and Zara stands on her tiptoes. Then they both start dancing to the song. They mimic the dance almost perfectly, laughing the entire way through it. When the song ends, they both fall down on the floor in a fit of laughter. Finally, they sit up trying to catch their breath.

Castiel pulls his knees up to his chest, “You know, Zara I’m lucky to have you as my best friend.”

Zara smiles and places a hand over her heart, “Truer words have never been spoken.” Castiel blinks at her with a look that clearly says, ‘you’re a dick’. Zara bats her eyelashes and then says, “I’m the one who is lucky to have you, Castiel. Honestly.”

[Breaking Benjamin - Blow Me Away - Chapter Title Inspiration ](https://youtu.be/L1VIh_lEP_o)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	3. The Monster Inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets a bit dark in the end. You will understand the reason behind Castiel's tattoo. I too have felt like him at one point or another so I hope I did it justice. Don't worry it will only be a little rocky in the next chapter. Castiel just has to get a handle on himself.
> 
> Song mentioned is "Right Kind Of Wrong" by LeAnn Rimes  
> Warning possible slurs in different chapters.

Castiel and Charlie are sitting in the library for their study period. Castiel is going over the material for an upcoming test in his Governmental History class, and getting more frustrated by the second. He knows the material well, but he can’t get his mind to focus, and has read the same line almost twenty times. Finally, he has had enough; he shuts his book throws it back in his bag, and walks out.

Charlie is hot on his heels, but he doesn’t stop anytime she calls his name. He opens the door leading outside and walks out to his truck. Castiel flings open the door and hops inside. Of course, Charlie rounds the other side and climbs up in the passenger seat. Once the doors are closed, she sits there and stares at him. Castiel looks over at her, “What?”

Charlie arches an eyebrow at him, “Don’t ‘what’ me. What is wrong with you today? You’ve been seriously moody since last week.”

Castiel pinches the bridge of his nose, “I have not. Nothing is wrong.” There is no way he is telling Charlie about his crush on Dean. He knows she wouldn’t care or judge him in any way, but, he decided if he didn’t talk about it then it would just go away.  She knows that Dean had gone swimming with his brother at Castiel’s house. Since that day, Dean and Castiel have talked more at school. If they happened to see each other in the hall, they would stop and talk for a few minutes, and they would do the same in the classes they shared if the teacher was running behind.

Charlie purses her lips, “You’re a horrible liar, Chewie.”

Castiel looks over at her and smiles, “I’m okay, really I am. Hey, let’s blow off last period and do something.”

Charlie’s eyes go wide. “You never ditch class.”

Castiel nods, “Yeah, I know but, it’s senior year so let’s live a little.”

Charlie drums her fingers on her legs. “Fine let’s do it, but what about Princess?”

Castiel huffs a laugh, “Don’t worry about it, Han. Your princess has theater practice after school until five. I’ll pick her up later.” And with that, Charlie tells Castiel she will meet him at his house and gets out of the truck to go to her car. Castiel starts the engine, and leaves the parking lot.

When he arrives at home, he pulls up in the driveway waiting on Charlie. He doesn’t turn off the engine since he doesn’t plan on staying. Castiel lays his head back on the headrest and closes his eyes. The mixed CD Zara made for him changes songs, and LeAnn Rimes  _“Right Kind of Wrong”_  starts playing.

 _Know all about... Yeah, 'bout your reputation ... And now it's bound to be a heartbreak situation ... But I can't help it if I'm helpless_ _... Every time I'm where you_  
_are ... You walk in and my strength walks out the door ... Say my name and I can't fight it anymore ... Oh, I know I should go ... But I need your touch just too_  
_damn much ... Lovin' you, that really isn't something I should do ... Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you, yeah ... Well, I should try to be strong,_  
_But baby you're the right kind of wrong ... Yeah, baby, you're the right kind of wrong..._

“Shit,” Charlie says as she climbs into the passenger seat. Castiel turns his head to look at her. “Okay, who is it, Castiel?”

He squints his eyes at her, “What are you talking about, Charlie?”

She folds her hands in her lap, “You know exactly what I’m talking about. You rarely listen to country. And you ONLY listen to this song when you’re having boy trouble.”

Castiel sighs and looks up at the roof of the truck, his head still on the headrest. “I don’t want to talk about it. Come on, buckle up. Let’s get ice cream, my treat.” Charlie doesn’t say anything, just moves to get strapped in. Castiel immediately switches CDs, and backs out of the driveway.

After driving for a little bit, Castiel pulls up in front of Cold Stone Creamery. He parks the truck and jumps out, makes sure Charlie is out, and then locks the truck. He puts his arm around her as they walk in. He orders vanilla for himself, and coffee flavor for Charlie.  They take a booth in the back corner, sitting across from one another.

After they are half way through their ice cream, Charlie looks at him dead in the eyes, “its Dean isn’t it?”

Castiel chokes, “What makes you think it has anything to do with him?  I barely know the guy.”

She nods her head, “Yeah, but that doesn’t stop you from crushing on him.”

He runs a hand through his hair. “You talked to Zara didn’t you?”

“I didn’t have to. It’s written all over your face anytime his name is mentioned.”

Castiel looks down, “Fuck, is it that obvious? Now I have to change schools.”

Charlie laughs and shakes her head. “It’s only obvious to those who really know you. Quit being such a queen.” Castiel flips her off. “Look it’s not that big of a deal. Really, it’s not.”

“Now you sound like Zara,” he says after taking another bite of his ice cream.

“Well, she is pretty smart. It doesn’t hurt anyone to like him.”

“No, but there is no point in it, Han, and you know it.”

Charlie pushes her empty cup away, adding, “How do you know that for sure, Chewie?”

Castiel shakes his head, “Don’t do that. Have you ever seen him date a guy?” She doesn’t answer him. “Have you ever heard him talk about a guy in that manner?”

Charlie rests her chin on her hand. “Well, no, but…”

Castiel interrupts her, “Well, then don’t give me false hope. And with that, he gets up, throws his cup away and walks out to his truck.

Charlie grabs his hand before he opens the door. “Damn it, Castiel, please don't do this.”

He turns around and hangs his head, “Don’t do what? All I’m doing is saving myself a lot of pain. Now please, for the love of everything sacred, drop it.”

She nods and rounds the truck to the passenger side. They ride back to his house in silence. “Can you take Zara home? I feel like being alone tonight.” Castiel says quietly. 

Charlie hops out of the truck and turns back to face him. “Yeah, I can do that, Chewie. I love you.”

Castiel gives her a small smile, “I know.”

* * *

 

Around seven that night, Castiel’s phone dings. He swipes the screen and sees a message from Zara.

_Zara: What’s up Cassie? You ditched last period and had Charlie take me home._

_You: I’m just tired. I’ll pick you up in the morning before school._

_Zara: I know that's probably not true, but I'll give you space. I love you._

_You: I love you too._

Castiel picks up the book that’s on his bedside table, flipping to the page where he left off. Soon he is lost in a deep murder mystery. When he looks over at his clock it’s only eight. He gets up and changes into shorts and a tank top, grabs his keys and iPod, and heads downstairs. Castiel goes to the garage and opens it to get his bike out. He secures the helmet on his head and takes off to the park. When he arrives, he parks his bike and takes off the helmet and shirt. With his earbuds in, he takes off running. It’s the one thing that will get his mind off shit.

* * *

 

Dean is lying in his room with the lights off and his phone pressed up to his ear. “What do you want, Bela?”

She replies in a coy voice, “I wanted to talk to you, of course.”

Dean huffs a laugh, “I think we’ve said everything we need to say to each other.”

Bela gives a frustrated sigh, “Would you stop being so difficult, Dean?”

“I’m seeing someone now, Bela.” Shit, why did he say that?

“Who is she?”

Dean racks his brain, “You don’t know her.”

Bela laughs incredulously. “Are you talking about that trollop, Jo?”

“Don’t ever talk about Joanna Beth like that, she’s family. And like I said, you don’t know her.”

“I bet she isn’t half the woman I am.”

He laughs outright at that. “She’s more of a woman than you’ll ever be. She is beautiful, has gorgeous dark brown hair, deep blue eyes, and a smile that can light up a room.”

Bela huffs, “Damn it, Dean, I miss you.”

“Is that right? You miss me? Hmm, did you miss me before or after you sucked Gordon’s dick?” There is silence on the other end, and Dean almost hangs up.

“How did you find out about that?”

Dean laughs, “You know how rumors fly around the school. And now you’ve confirmed it. You broke up with me for him. You’re a slut, Bela. Do me a favor, lose my number.” With that, Dean ends the call and gets up.

Grabbing his keys and wallet, he heads out of his room. His mom is on the couch in the living room when he walks in. “Where are you going, honey?”

Dean gives her a small smile, “I need some air. I’m heading over to the park. I’ll be back.” He walks over to the couch and gives her a quick kiss on the cheek.

She nods, “Alright, but don’t be out too late.” Dean promises he will be back soon and walks out the door. He gets in Baby, starts the engine, puts Led Zeppelin in, and heads off down the road.

As he pulls up to the park his headlights hit someone sitting down in the grass. Damn, he figured he would be alone. Fuck it. He parks, gets out of the car, and hops up on the hood, leaning back to stretch out. He closes his eyes and clears all thoughts from his head.

Dean isn’t sure how long he lays there before he hears a familiar voice say, “Hello, Dean.”

Dean sits up and looks over at Castiel. “Damn, Cas, someone needs to put a bell on you.”

Castiel huffs a laugh, “We need to quit meeting like this.”

Dean gives him a lazy smile and motions for him to sit on the hood. “What are you doing out so late?”  

Castiel shrugs, “I was restless so I decided to go for a run.”

“Do you always run?” Dean asks, looking over at him.

“I have to keep in shape. But, it’s also a stress reliever for me. And since you asked me, why are you out here?”

Dean looks off, “My ex called and the conversation wasn’t pretty.”

Castiel nods, “Sorry to hear that,” he hops up on the hood and crosses his legs, his elbows resting on them. “It happens, Cas, no big deal really.” Castiel doesn’t say anything, just sits listening to Dean.

“You know people think it’s so great to be one of us. To be a part of the ‘popular’ group, the 'in' crowd, thinks it’s all fun and games. Sure, I love football, being out on that field, knowing people are cheering me on is an adrenaline rush. It’s almost like I’m God in that moment. You know what I mean?”

Castiel looks over at Dean and nods, “I think I can relate. The only difference is I keep a small circle of friends. Not saying that you having a lot of friends is bad.”

Dean shifts his body to where he is facing Castiel. “Sometimes I think it would be easier that way. My so called ‘friends’ expects me to keep a certain imagine. Damn it, I’m seventeen, what do they want from me? Sometimes I’d rather sit in front of the TV and do absolutely nothing other than watching Star Wars, or some shit like that. Instead, I get dragged to parties. Those are fun sometimes, but shit, every weekend?”

“Do you have any friends that know the real you?” Castiel asks.

“Charlie, Benny, Cole, and Aaralynn know the real me, thankfully.”

Castiel looks past Dean, gazing over his shoulder for a few moments and then looks back. “You know, I’ll give you some advice,” Castiel starts. “I know how it is. We basically run that school and could get anything we want, but I refuse to let it dictate who I am. Be true to yourself. Attend the parties you want, but don’t let anyone make you into something you clearly don’t want to be. Play the game like you own it. You’ve always done that, anyhow."

Dean looks down, “You’ve seen me play?”

Castiel blushes, full on, actually blushes. “I’ve seen a few games, yeah.” 

Dean smiles, “It’s nice having someone who understands and that I can talk to.”

Dean looks back up as silence falls between them, their eyes locking. Castiel leans in and brushes his lips against Dean’s. Castiel tilts his head and kisses him again, this time with a little more pressure. Dean lets his eyes close, and for just a few seconds, he allows himself to enjoy the feel of Castiel's lips on his before suddenly pulling back. "Whoa man, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression…"

Castiel gets up runs a frustrated hand through his hair, "No, shit, it was me. I'm sorry, that was stupid. Just… just forget it."

Dean tries to tell him it’s cool, but Castiel just turns around and takes off running. Dean lets out a frustrated groan and falls back on the hood, "Guess he does always run."

* * *

 

Castiel finally stops running and sits down. Why did he do that? What the hell made him kiss Dean? He knows Dean is straight and has no interest in him other than friendship. Well, he did like him as a friend, but of course, Castiel fucked that all to hell. The kiss, though; he’s never had a kiss like that. White hot lightning traveled through his body, almost like he touched Dean’s soul at that moment. When Castiel hears the Impala start up and drive away, he picks himself up off the ground and walks to his bike. He pulls his shirt over his head, throws his leg over, and sits down. The engine roars to life and he takes off. This time, he doesn’t care about speed. All he wants to do is get far away from that park.

It shouldn’t really come as a surprise when he finds himself parked out in front of Zara’s. He opens the gate that leads into the backyard. Castiel finds and opens her bedroom window and crawls in. She is asleep in bed, and tends to be really grumpy when she gets woke up, but he knows she won’t care this time, so he walks over as quiet as he can and nudges her. “Zara wake up,” he says quietly. She stirs but doesn’t respond, so he nudges her again. Her eyes fly open and she almost shouts, but when she sees Castiel’s face, she is immediately concerned for her friend. “Cassie, what’s wrong?”

Castiel shakes his head, “I don’t want to talk about it. Will you get up, get a change of clothes, and come back to my house?”

Zara looks at the clock, it’s after midnight. “Yeah come on, let’s go, honey bear.” She walks to her closet, grabs a change of clothes, stuffs them in her school bag, and then slips on her shoes. They both walk through her house quietly.

Castiel pushes the bike to the end of the street before he gets on and starts the engine. When he is sure Zara has her helmet on and her arms wrap around him, he takes off.  As soon as they arrive, Castiel parks the bike in the garage and unlocks the door. He immediately heads upstairs, grabs clean clothes, and heads to the bathroom. He strips down and gets in the shower. The warm water pouring over his body is soothing, and he hangs his head, letting the water run over his head and face. Zara parks herself outside of the bathroom on the floor. The door is open enough she can hear the water running.

“Cassie, will you tell me what is going on? Please?” She can hear him mumble something, and then, “I kissed Dean.”

* * *

 

Dean flops down on his bed, his mind racing a mile a minute. Castiel kissed him. Castiel fucking Novak kissed him. And he let it happen. He’s not gay. Sure he has found other guys attractive, but has never wanted to kiss one. That damn kiss seriously fucked with his head. When Castiel’s soft lips brushed against his, it was like fire rushing through his veins.

There has never been a time that he can remember, where a kiss has affected him in that way.  No, it was more like fire and ice rushing through his body at the same time, lighting him on fire and quenching a thirst he wasn’t aware he had. He absently brushes his fingers over his lips. It is almost as if he can still feel Castiel’s lips there. Dean runs a hand through his hair in frustration. He tried to tell Castiel not to worry about it, that it was no big deal and didn’t bother him. Then it hits him. It actually didn’t bother him that Castiel kissed him. The messed up thing is, Dean actually enjoyed it.

He gets up, quickly changes into sweats and pulls his shirt off over his head, letting it fall to the floor. Dean throws back the covers on his bed and climbs in. Leaning over, he switches off the lamp and lets the darkness surround him. He lays back and closes his eyes; however, sleep eludes him. All he can think of is blue eyes staring into his. Dean turns over on his right side and tries to settle in. He can hear Castiel’s voice in his head, the deep gravelly sound saying his name. When sleep finally takes him, he is lost in a dream of a blue-eyed boy in his arms.

* * *

 

Castiel is lying in bed on his back with the lights off. Zara is sleeping peacefully beside him. Their hands are intertwined together in the middle of them. The night’s events are playing in slow motion in his head on repeat. Except when he pulls back from kissing Dean, all he sees now is hatred and disgust on the other boy's face. There is a cold look in Dean’s eyes that sends chills down Castiel’s spine. It makes his stomach twist and bile races up to his throat. Castiel sits on the hood of the Impala in his thoughts, watching the beautiful boy in front of him morph into a familiar demonic figure, one he knows all too well. Castiel wants to scream. He wants to yell at the top of his lungs, and at the same time he gets the urge to run. There is a thin sweat breaking out on his body. His heart is racing so fast he can hear it pounding in his ears. Castiel’s skin itches and he feels his inner demon try to claw its way out, threatening to break down the wall he carefully placed around it years ago. When he falls asleep, all he can hear is the roar from the monster inside him.

**_“You are stupid, Castiel. You don’t deserve to be loved. How dare an abomination like you actually think you are allowed happiness? I will make sure no one will love you. You are worthless, Castiel. I will always be here inside you, breaking you down bit by bit, until you are a sobbing mess that no one will want to look at. I will not stop until you are a broken, empty shell of your former self. Then you will be all alone forever.”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	4. Send The Pain Below

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> Warning possible slurs in different chapters.

[Send The Pain Below - Chevelle](https://youtu.be/iNWq96ow5qM)

The following morning, Castiel decides he is staying home. He can't deal with everything and school on top of it. That, of course, causes an argument with Zara. He knows she means well, but he just wants to be left alone. He doesn't want to push her away, he actually hates doing it. Castiel hands her the keys to his truck and tells her to be careful, which he knows she will be. Zara tells Castiel she will get all of his assignments from his classes, and will bring them to him after school. He nods and wraps her in a big hug before she walks out the door. He doesn't bother making himself breakfast, his stomach is still churning from the night before. 

He lies on his bed, the silence of the house is almost deafening. There is a ticking sound coming from his clock and it is pounding in his head. Castiel flips on his stomach and pulls a pillow over his head, squeezing his eyes shut. The sound bleeds through, driving Castiel mad. He flips back over and sits up, throwing his pillow across the room. 

**_“Castiel, did you really think you could keep me locked up for long?”_ **

Immediately fear sinks in his heart when he hears the voice. He scrambles back on his bed until his back hits the headboard. “You’re not real,” Castiel chokes out. He feels a phantom hand wrap around his neck, making it hard for him to breathe. The demon laughs,  ** _“Oh but I am real. I’m very real, Castiel. You formed me in your mind. I am a part of you.”_** Castiel brings his knees up to his chest and puts his head down against them, hands coming up to his ears to block out the voice. He closes his eyes again as the tears that have formed threaten to spill over.

“It’s not real, none of this is real, it can’t be,” Castiel keeps telling himself. The demon roars.  ** _“You’re stupid, Castiel,”_**  the demon taunts.  ** _“You can’t save yourself from this, from me.”_** Castiel’s whole body starts to shake. He tries to swallow back the tears, but his tongue is heavy in his mouth. His chest tightens which makes his heart race, breathing becomes difficult. He knows he is having a panic attack, having had several before. He searches his mind trying to remember the calming techniques his therapist taught him. “You’re not real,” he says again just above a whisper. “I am in control of this. I can control these thoughts. I’m worthy.” He repeats the words over and over like a mantra.

* * *

 

As soon as Zara arrives at school and parks the truck, she stomps off to find Dean. She plans on giving him a piece of her mind and doesn’t care who is around to hear her. Okay, she does care, but she is still giving him an ear full. She is halfway to the field when she runs into Charlie.

“Whoa, Princess, what’s going on,” Charlie asks, stepping in front of her.

Zara shifts her weight on her right leg, “Dean is a dead man walking, that’s what’s going on."

Charlie raises her eyebrows, “Okay, how about we start from the beginning. What did he do to you?”

“He didn’t do anything to me, Charlie. It’s what he did to Castiel,” she says.

Charlie's eyebrows furrow in confusion, “Castiel? What are you talking about?”

Zara looks around to make sure she won’t be overheard, and then leans closer to Charlie. “Cassie kissed Dean last night. I don’t know all the details. All I know is he came to my house after midnight and picked me up. He refuses to talk about it, and his nightmares started back up. He thinks I slept through the night, but I didn’t. So I’m going to a nice little chat with Winchester.”

“Oh snap,” Charlie says. “Wait, so you don’t know how Dean reacted?”

“No, but I’m going to find out,” Zara replies and side steps Charlie to continue her mission. Charlie tries to keep up with her following behind.

* * *

 

Dean sits down on the bench, watching his other team members practice. He is winded and already sweating. He guzzles down water trying to cool off. It is already hot as hell outside, and of course, he still has thirty minutes of practice left. The coach is yelling at the team, which is his form of encouragement. Dean catches something out of the corner of his eye and looks to his left to see two redheads walking fast in his direction. Shit he knows this can’t be good. Dean yells back at the coach that he will be back and starts walking towards the girls meeting them halfway.

Zara pushes Dean when she gets close to him, “What did you do to him, damn it?”

Dean steps back, “What are you talking about Z,” he asks.

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about, Winchester,” she spats and then lowers her voice. “I know he kissed you last night. Now he refuses to come to school. He’s a complete mess right now.”

Dean looks around him, “What do you mean he is a complete mess?”

Zara looks at Dean in the eyes, “I mean he’s a fucking mess, dumbass. He won’t talk to me, he barely slept, and he won’t eat.” 

Charlie looks over at Dean, “What happened last night?”

Dean runs a hand over his face, “It doesn’t matter. All that matters right now is me talking to him.”

Zara crosses her arms across her chest, “He doesn’t need you screwing with him even more.”

Dean shakes his head, “Look, I know you’re his friend and you’re protecting him, but you don’t have to protect him from me. I’m not out to hurt him, honestly. I’m going to his house right now.”

“Don’t you have practice, Dean?” Charlie asks.

Dean nods and looks back at his teammates, “Yeah but fuck it. I’ll do the extra laps if I have to. Zara, do you have an extra key to his house? I know how to get there, and I really think he and I need to have a talk in private.” Zara arches her eyebrow at him. Dean throws up his hands, “You have my word Z, I’m only going over there to see if I can fix this.” He pulls the girls farther off to the side of the field and lowers his voice, “I like Cas. He’s a cool guy. And… well… the kiss didn’t bother me… I uh… I may have actually… I liked it okay?”

* * *

 

Castiel gets off his bed and flips on the music, then settles back down on his bed and lets his head fall back against the wall. It’s been two years since anything like this has happened. He closes his eyes and the memories flood back to him.

****Castiel’s freshman year of high school****

Castiel met a guy named Ezekiel his freshman year.  Zeke was a junior who had just transferred to the school. Zeke was handsome, intelligent, and had a great sense of humor. Three weeks into the school year, they started dating. Everything was fine at first, Zeke would meet Castiel after school at his house, they would go upstairs to Castiel’s room while his parents were out, and make out. Castiel was crazy about Zeke; he even lost his virginity to him. But, Castiel started noticing that Zeke would practically ignore him and harass him while they were in school. It was a different story when they were alone. Zeke was gentle and attentive towards Castiel.

It all fell apart one night at a party. Zeke had asked Castiel to go, so he agreed. It was out at the lake, and damn near everyone who went to school with them was there. Of course, Zeke ignored him like he was invisible. As the night went on, Castiel grew more pissed off. He didn’t understand how someone who could be such a loving person in private could be a completely different person around his friends.

Everyone was drinking and getting loud, so Castiel decided he had enough and went to leave. Zeke noticed this and called out to him. Castiel didn’t listen and continued to walk off. A couple of Zeke’s friends stopped him and grabbed him by the arms. “Where do you think you’re going, little fag boy?” One of them asked. “Yeah, I think Zeke here called your name. Where are you hurrying off to?” Another boy asked.

Castiel looked at Zeke who was standing in front of him. “Screw you, Zeke, I don’t have to answer to you,” Castiel growled. Anger flashes across Zeke’s face, “Eric, Ty, you know what to do. Teach the faggot a lesson.”

Castiel was thrown to the ground and the guys started kicking him in the ribs. The one Zeke called Ty flipped Castiel on his back and straddled his hips, “You like this don’t you freak?” Ty slams his fist in Castile’s face, splitting his lips in the process. Eric held Castiel’s arms down while Zeke had a hold of his legs. There was no way to get out of it and defend himself. After all was said and done, Castiel had two black eyes, bruised ribs, several cuts, and a bloody nose.

Two weeks after the attack, Zeke showed up at Castiel’s house. His parents let him in not knowing he was the reason that Castiel had been hurt. Castiel was on his bed when Zeke walked in. Castiel immediately jumped up, demanding to know why Zeke was there. “I’m here for you, of course, baby,” Zeke said with a sly smile on his face. Castiel ran a hand through his hair, “For me? You’re out of your mind, Zeke. Need I remind you that you were the one that told those assholes to teach me a lesson? While YOU helped hold me down.”

Zeke walked over to put his arms around Castiel, “I couldn’t let you get away with that, baby,” Zeke cooed. Castiel pulled himself out of Zeke’s grip, “You know what, Zeke?  I don’t… I don’t need this shit. I gave everything to you, and that was how you repaid me? If you want to be with me, then be with me. But I can’t take the secrets anymore, damn it. I loved you.”

Zeke grabbed Castiel’s arm, his fingers digging into Castiel’s skin. “You actually think I give a fuck about you, Castiel? You’re a piece of ass in between finding someone who is WORTHY of my time. You are a worthless piece of shit.” Zeke’s other hand came up to Castiel’s throat. He dug his finger over Castiel’s windpipe enough to barely cut off his air. “You’re fucked in the head if you thought you would ever be anything other than a fling to me. I will never be with you the way you want. You’ll always be alone, I’ll make for damn sure of that.”

Castiel growled and pried Zeke’s hand from his neck. He pushed Zeke back against the wall. “Get the FUCK out of my house!” Zeke moved to get closer to Castiel again, but his door flew open. Gabriel lunged at Zeke and they both fell to the floor. Zeke might have been stronger, but Gabriel was faster. Gabriel grabbed Zeke’s arm and pulled it up behind his back. “I believe my baby brother told you to get the fuck out. So if you know what is good for you, then you’ll listen to him.”

With Castiel’s help, Gabriel pulled Zeke up from the floor and then walked him out of the room. Downstairs Gabriel pushed Zeke out of the door, “I don’t want to see your sorry ass around him again. Do I make myself clear?” Zeke looked at Castiel and nodded, “You remember what I said. You’ll always be alone.” Castiel tried to get out the door, but Gabriel held him back, “Fuck you, Zeke. I never want to see you again,” he yelled. 

****Present Day****

Castiel opens his eyes and stares up at the ceiling. Tears start running down his face again. He moves his body down to where he can lay on the bed, and curls up on his right side. He grabs a pillow and hugs it to his chest. Music is still playing and he tries to focus on that to clear the memories out of his head. The song switches, he closes his eyes and lets the song carry him away.

_I liked, having hurt ...  So send the pain below,  where I need it ...  You used to be me to take  care of things ...  And smile at the  thought of me failing ...  But long before,_

_having hurt,  I'd send the pain below,  I send the pain below ...  Much like suffocating,  Much like suffocating,  Much like suffocating ...  I'd send the pain below..._

_Much like suffocating,  I'd send the pain below...  You used to run me away ...  All while laughing ...  Then cry about that fact,  'til I returned.  But long before,  having hurt,_

_I'd send the pain below,  I send the pain below..._

* * *

 

Dean parks outside of Castiel’s house and reaches back to grab a bag of food he picked up on the way. He walks up the driveway and reaches in his pocket for the keys Zara gave him. When he gets to the door, he unlocks it and shuts the door behind him. The house is dark and he can hear music coming from upstairs. Dean isn't sure where Castiel’s room is, so he climbs the stairs, following the sound. He doesn’t bother knocking on the door because he knows Castiel won’t let him in, so he just opens the door and walks in. He sees Castiel lying on his side, facing away from the door.

“Zara, why are you here and not in school? I’ve already told you I want to be left alone for a while,” Castiel says without turning over.

“Yeah, you may want to be left alone, Cas, but it’s not happening,” Dean replies and walks over to the stereo, turning it off.

Castiel sits up and leans back against the headboard, “Why are you here?”

Dean puts the bag of food down on a desk and shoves his hands in his pockets. “I’m your friend, Cas, that’s why.”

Castiel laughs and shakes his head, “After last night I highly doubt we’re friends, Dean.”

Dean walks over to Castiel’s bed and sits down on the end. “That’s where you’re wrong, Cas. You think just because you kissed me I’m going to stop talking to you? Well, you’re wrong.”

Castiel’s hands twisted in the blanket, “That should have never happened. It was stupid… I was stupid.”

Dean stands up and walks over to get the food, then returns to the bed, “You’re not stupid. Don’t ever say that about yourself again. Here, I brought a couple hamburgers.”

“I’m not hungry,” Castiel lies and his stomach starts to growl, betraying him.

Dean laughs, “Well your stomach is making a liar out of you. Come on, Cas, eat, please.” Dean gives him puppy dog eyes that rival Sam’s. Castiel shakes his head and takes the burger from Dean. While they eat, Dean tries to get Castiel to talk about what is on his mind. Castiel remains tight-lipped about it. Dean can't figure out why he feels so at ease around Castiel. Without putting much thought into it, he starts talking about himself. He rarely talks to anyone about his family unless he has known them for a long time, but even then he doesn’t go into detail.

He tells Castiel about his father, John. How he was in the military and raised Dean to believe that life had to be a certain way. John was the one who pushed Dean to go out for sports. He talks about how disappointed John would be with Dean if his team lost. Even if it wasn’t his fault, it didn’t matter to John.  He goes into detail about how John would drill in his head that emotions are a sign of weakness. He explains that John passed away two years ago from a heart attack. When his dad died, Dean stepped up as the man of the house to help his mom. Dean talks about his mom and how she is the best mother, in Dean’s opinion. He talks of Sam and how he knows that kid will go far. By the end of it, Castiel knows more about his life than any of his other friends.

Castiel finds himself talking about his parents as well. How they did the best they could, but were hardly there for him. He talks of his siblings, and because of the age difference how they were not that close. Castiel always felt alone, and still to this day he could be in a crowd of people, but feel completely lost. He speaks of how Gabe was the only one of his siblings that he had a close relationship with. Gabe had moved back into the house, but was rarely around, and that was more than likely due to his on again off again relationship with Kali, which was currently on again. He tells Dean of his plans to go to KU, but is uncertain of what he wants to study. His parents want him to follow in their footsteps, but he feels that it wouldn’t be the right profession for him.  

“So, Cas, I was wondering if you could do me a favor,” Dean asks after finishing his food and putting the wrapper in the bag.

Castiel looks up at him and smiles, “That all depends on what it is.”

Dean leans back, “Well, I need help with chemistry. Between football and helping my mom, I really haven’t had time to study. If I don’t keep my grades up, I’ll fail, so uh… could you tutor me?”

Castiel taps his chin like he is thinking it over, “Yeah I could do that, but why didn’t you just ask Charlie? She is just as smart as I am, if not more.”

Dean looks away, searching for a good enough reason. The truth is he could have asked Charlie if he honestly needed the help. He isn’t in danger of failing.  He could use the help but, he wants to spend more time with Castiel. “She has enough on her own plate, and I don’t want to add more to it.”

Castiel nods and gets up to throw the trash away. When he sits back on the bed he says, “Yeah I’ll help you, Dean. By the way, thank you for the food.”

Dean gives Castiel a smile that reaches his eyes, “No problem, Cas. We are friends right?”

Castiel could definitely be friends with Dean, or could at least try. "Friends? Yeah, we're friends, Dean." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	5. The Rhythm Is Gonna Get You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who leaves me comments. It is what keeps me going.  
> Warning possible slurs in different chapters.

A month after the kiss, Charlie, Castiel, Zara, and Dean are sitting on the floor of the living room, doing their homework. Music is pumping from the speakers so loud, the neighbors two blocks over could probably hear it. The four of them studying together at Castiel’s after school has become somewhat of a routine by now. Of course, after Dean finishes practice, that is.  Zara and Charlie are sitting extra close since they are working on a project for one of their classes. Every now and again, one of them will bump their shoulder against the other.

Castiel and Dean will exchange glances between each other, usually when the girls do something they don’t understand. After all, they are girls, and sometimes they have their own code when it comes to communicating. What makes it interesting is both girls take French. Charlie has been tutoring Zara in French for about a year now. It seems like they have forgotten that Castiel speaks it fluently. They are currently speaking French, which Castiel ignores until the conversation turns towards focuses on him and Dean.

**_"They would make a cute couple. I wish they would realize that."_ **

Charlie smiles, and continues in French, **_"_ _Agreed. They really do. I have not seen green eyes smile this much in a long time. Not even when he was with his last girlfriend. Any of them, actually."_**

Dean eyes the two girls and then looks at Castiel, who is looking anywhere but at Dean. Castiel could practically kill these two, but he doesn’t want to draw attention to himself. He is curious about what they have to say. So he continues to scribble down answers to questions on his assignment.

Zara looks over at Castiel and then back at Charlie.  ** _“I think they would be good for each other, honestly. The only problem is green eyes.”_**

Charlie nods, “ ** _Green eyes will come around. He has been talking about boy blue there a lot. After all, he did say he enjoyed the kiss. But, I'm sure he failed to mention that. Green eyes has a hard time expressing himself.”_**

 _“Wait what? Dean has been talking about me. He enjoyed the kiss? Why didn’t he say anything? No. It doesn’t matter why. He is straight. But why did he like the kiss?”_ Castiel coughs and closes his book, homework completely forgotten. He fiddles with a hole in his jeans trying to collect his thoughts, then adds, “ ** _Did you two forget I also speak French fluently? Normally I ignore your conversations since they have nothing to do with me. It doesn't matter if green eyes liked the kiss. He does not think of me that way. He is straight and only likes me as a friend. Now, I love you both, but stay out of my love life, or lack of.”_**

Both girls clam up immediately while Dean looks at all three of them like they’ve grown a second head. “I have no idea what any of you said, but that was hot as hell.”

Castiel huffs a laugh. “They were just discussing something that doesn’t concern them. I can teach you a few phrases, in French, if you like.”

Dean smiles, “Actually, I am taking Spanish and I’m completely lost.”

“Well, I could help you with that. I speak Spanish fluently,” Castiel offers.

Dean leans back on his elbows, his textbook still opened in his lap, Castiel has to keep his eyes from trailing over Dean’s body, but damn it if he can help it. It’s not fair really. How does one get to be so criminally hot? It should be against the law or something like that. “How many languages do you speak?” Dean sits back up and looks at Castiel, expecting an answer. What was the question again? Oh right, they were talking about languages and how many he can speak.

“French, Russian, and Spanish I speak fluently. There are others that I can understand, but have a harder time answering.” Castiel manages to supply when his brain finally kicks back in. “My parents spoke to me in each language when I was younger and I picked it up after awhile. They travel a lot, so it comes in handy.”

“I’ll have to keep that in mind,” Dean says and then looks back down at the book in his lap.

Charlie pulls Castiel’s attention to her by asking what his thoughts were on their project. They have to investigate the link between relationships and academic performance. The experiment is to evaluate whether there is a relationship between grade point average and dating status. It questions that in a group of high school students, is there a correlation between relationship status and grade point average? Does the level of involvement in a relationship affect students’ performance in school? Is the grade point averages of male or females more influenced by relationship status?

Castiel tells Charlie his thoughts on the subject matter. There is a correlation between any relationships that a high school student has. If there is a breakdown of the relationships, be it a dating, parental, sibling, or a simple friendship, it will affect the student. He gives the girls ideas on how they can research it, and make the final product for their presentation. Once he is done, both girls blink at him in either disbelief or admiration. Castiel isn’t sure of which one.

Then Charlie finally says, "You know what I love about you, Chewie? You're kind of like a T.A.R.D.I.S.”

Castiel quirks his eyebrow at her. "Okay, I'll bite, how am I like a T.A.R.D.I.S.?"

She smiles, "Well you look all dreamy and jock like on the outside, but your brain is bigger on the inside."

Castiel shakes his head, "Han, you are even more of a nerd than I am. That was far reaching just to use a Doctor Who reference."

Charlie’s smile widens, a clear sign that she is absolutely proud of herself. Dean and Zara crack up laughing. Castiel reaches back and grabs a pillow off the couch and flings it in Zara’s direction. Zara just flips him off and gets up. She walks over to the stereo and fiddles with the CDs.

“Break time, bitches,” Zara says over her shoulder. Shakira’s - Hips Don’t Lie starts playing and she walks over to Charlie. “Dance with me, my lady.” Charlie nods and takes Zara’s hand and they move over to where they can dance. Dean and Castiel both watch them start dancing. It makes Castiel smile that his friends are so carefree. They always try to find a way to make any situation fun.

The girls are moving around shaking their hips. And Castiel can’t resist. He gets up  walks over to the girls, and they pull apart so he can get in the middle of them. Both girls rest their hands on his sides and they move together. He takes the lead and they match his movements perfectly. Castiel takes one of each of the girl’s hands and expertly spins them at the same time, which makes both of them laugh. Then they both gravitate back to him and continue moving in sync. The smile on Castiel’s face is from the pure enjoyment, and it’s been awhile since he has truly smiled.

Dean watches them move and toss their heads side to side. He is captivated by the way Castiel moves his hips. Zara is in front of him with her back to his chest. Charlie is holding onto Castiel’s hips from behind. Dean’s eyes follow a trickle of sweat down Castiel’s face. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t move his eyes away. It makes him shift slightly, and suddenly, without realizing it, Dean gets up and moves over to them as the song switches. Zara looks a little more than surprised when Dean enters her line of vision, but none of them stops moving. Zara places her hands on his hips and moves him in closer.

The movement with him is a little awkward at first, because honestly Dean doesn’t really dance like this, but he quickly catches onto the rhythm, surprising himself, and his friends. When he looks up, Castiel is smiling, clearly pleased that Dean is joining in the fun. Dean’s eyes lock with Castiel’s and no matter how much he tries, Dean finds that he can’t look away yet again. It’s like Castiel is looking into his soul, like he can read every one of Dean’s thoughts.

Dean watches Castiel lick his lips, and heat travels through his body. Damn it, why does that have such an effect on Dean? A shiver runs down Dean’s spine, and everything else seems to fade around him. Dean is only aware of the way his heart is beating, the sound of his breathing, and soon he can’t even hear that. Instead, he hears Castiel’s heartbeat, which is odd because he isn’t that close to him. Neither Castiel nor Dean realizes that the girls have moved away from them. The pull to each other is like a magnet to its opposite polar attraction. Castiel’s hands are now on Dean’s hips and he is moving Dean in time with the music. Dean’s hands seem to have a mind of their own because they move up to Castiel’s shoulders, his hands locking behind Castiel’s head. They don’t break eye contact, both staring into the other’s eyes.

Dean moves in closer and his lips meet Castiel’s, and that seems to break whatever trance they were in. Immediately Castiel stiffens, and before Dean knows what happened, he is left standing alone in the middle of the floor, the music still playing. He is completely dumbfounded. He doesn’t know why he kissed Castiel, but he finds himself okay with it. Apparently, Castiel isn’t though, and Dean finds it irritating. He looks over to where Zara and Charlie are standing. Both of them look equally confused and concerned about Castiel’s reaction.

Dean doesn’t know what to do or say, so he picks up his books off the floor where he left them, turns to the girls and says, “I… uh… I should go.”

Zara shakes her head, “Dean, look you didn’t do anything wrong…” But, Dean cuts her off.

“Apparently I did, Z. I’ll see y'all later,” Dean says, and with that, he opens the door and walks out.  He gets in his car, and for just a minute he allows himself to look over at the house. Dean can see Castiel standing in his window looking down at him. The look on Castiel’s face is equally heartbreaking as it is confusing. Castiel looks terrified, which is not a normal look on him. Dean is used to Castiel being confident and carefree. The only other time he has seen that look was the day after their first kiss. Something pulls at Dean’s heart and it’s only when Castiel moves away from the window that Dean starts the engine and pulls away.

* * *

He drives around aimlessly for a while, before finally turning down the next road. Dean pulls into the driveway at his house, shuts off the engine, and lays his head against the steering wheel. Sure the fact he kissed Castiel confuses him, but what is more confusing, is the fact that Castiel’s rejection hurts him. Taking a deep breath, he walks up to the front door and turns the knob. He wants to see his mom, needs to see her actually. Dean finds her in the kitchen washing a few dishes. She is undoubtedly getting ready to cook dinner. It’s about the time she cooks when she is off work.

Mary looks over her shoulder when she hears Dean’s footsteps. She smiles, but it falters when she notices the look on Dean’s face. Dean meets her eyes and he motions towards the living room. Mary offers a soft smile and nods. They both walk over to the couch and sit down. Dean isn’t sure how long time passes in silence. He is desperately trying to collect his thoughts. His mother sits there, waiting patiently for him to speak. She knows him better than anyone else, and knows not to push, because if she does, he will clam up. So, she waits.

Dean finally takes a shallow breath and looks around. Finally, he meets his mother’s eyes. “Mom, I have something to tell you.” He can see a look of confusion on her face, and a trace of fear cross it. He can see her try to hide it, but he can see it nonetheless. Dean subconsciously fiddles with the hem of his shirt. “There is this person… I like them… I like them a lot actually. I don’t know what to do.” He sees his mother visibly relax.

His mother nods in understanding and says, “Dean, you’ve never had a problem going after a girl.” That is true. Dean has never had a problem in that department.

Dean licks his lips and hums, “Well that’s the thing, mom. This person is not exactly a girl.” He can see his mother’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. For a few minutes she doesn’t say anything, and then, one of her eyebrows arches.

“They’re not exactly a girl?” She asks, and he knows she is pressing him to tell her. Even though she clearly knows Dean is talking about a guy.

“Yeah… um well… he’s kind of a guy,” He says as he runs a hand through his hair. Dean looks down. He doesn’t want to see the look of disgust on his mother’s face.

“Kind of a guy? Huh. You mean he  _is_  a guy. Well, what’s this  _kind of_  a guy like?” She asks him, and Dean’s eyes flick to hers. He doesn’t see the look of disgust on her face. Instead, he sees a look of what could only be acceptance and love. A weight seems to lift off of him and he sighs.

“He’s awesome mom. He’s funny, intelligent, and caring. His hair will not stay down, matter how much he tries to tame it. His eyes are… gosh… they’re beautiful and blue. When he looks at me I feel like he sees past everything on the outside; it feels like he is looking directly into my soul,” He says quietly as if he is picturing Castiel in his head.

“Well, then what’s the problem?” She asks while turning her wedding ring around on her finger. She always does that when she is trying to figure out something. His mother still wears her ring even though his father has been gone for two years. That has always made Dean smile. It’s like his dad is still with them in a way.

“The problem is that  _he_  is a  _guy,_ ” Dean says looking down at his jeans. They have suddenly become the most fascinating thing in the world.

“Dean Michael Winchester,” His mother says in a tone that isn’t anger filled, but shocked. His attention snaps up to his mother’s face. “I thought I’ve taught you that love knows no bounds. That love knows no gender; it’s not black and white. It’s colorful and real.”

“I… ugh… I didn’t say… I didn’t say that I love him,” he stutters as he looks at her. It’s the truth. He feels an attraction toward Castiel and maybe affection, but not love. 

Mary huffs a laugh and moves her hand to his face. She brushes his cheek with the back of her hand and then cups it. “I didn’t say that Dean. I am simply saying that it doesn’t matter if the person you are interested in is a  _girl_ or a  _guy_. What I’m saying is, don’t let his gender stop you.” She moves her hand back and tugs gently on his ear like she used to do when he was little. He never understood why his mother had always done that. It really only happened when she was trying to get him to listen to her, to move past whatever preconceived notions he had.

Dean smiles and nods. “Dean, if this is what you want, then pursue it, but go in with your eyes open. Take it slow, because you’ve never done this before. I don’t want you hurt, and I don’t want you hurting him.”

He leans back into the couch, letting his head fall back against it. “So you really don’t care that he is a guy?”

His mom chuckles and says, “No, and I can’t say that I’m surprised.” Dean moves his head in her direction, but doesn’t lift it. He looks at her for a few seconds before opening his mouth.

“What do you mean it doesn’t surprise you?” he asks, his voice filled with confusion.

Mary tilts her head and hums, “I mean it doesn’t surprise me is all. You have an obsession for Indiana Jones,” she says teasing. “Come on, help me with dinner.” She gets up off the couch and walks to the kitchen. Dean follows her closely behind, and leans against the cabinet. He watches her move gracefully, every move precise. She looks over her shoulder and smiles, then asks him to peel potatoes while she starts frying the chicken. He nods and moves over to fill her request. After a while with them working side by side, he huffs a laugh, “Thank you, Mom.” It’s all he says, but he knows he doesn’t have to explain what he is talking about. His mom bumps his hip, “You’re welcome. I have to admit I was scared for a few minutes. I thought you were going to tell me you got a girl pregnant.” 

Dean stops mid-peel and looks over at her with an  _‘are you serious’_  look, to which his mom just shrugs. “Mom, I’m always careful.” His mom looks over at him and smiles.

“I know. But things happen you know. It’s a valid fear of mine. After all, I have two incredibly handsome sons.” After that, the subject is dropped and they move onto school topics and football. Dean is now working on putting a salad together. He knows how lucky he is to have a mother that is extremely understanding, and that would never judge him, regardless of what the situation was. She has always had his back, and he knows his mother always will. For that, he is very grateful.

But in the back of his mind, his thoughts trail to Castiel. Dean can’t help the tug at his heart that he feels for the guy. He is basically all alone and has told Dean that his parents were never really around. Dean couldn’t imagine not having his. In a way, he is somewhat understanding after losing his dad, but to not have his mom either, well that is something Dean can’t wrap his head around. It makes Dean want to find a way to help Castiel so he wouldn't feel so lonely. Even Dean knows how that feels. He just has to figure out the right way to do that and approach it with caution. Dean is willing to do anything to see Castiel smile. That equally terrifies him and makes him happy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	6. Runnin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> Warning possible slurs in different chapters.  
> *Updates may come slower as I'm starting a new job Tuesday. But I PROMISE I'm not just going to let this hang in the balance.*

Castiel stands at his window looking down, watching Dean get in his car and drive away.  What the hell happened?  One minute they were dancing with the girls and the next Dean’s lips are on his.  He runs a hand through his hair and paces the room like a caged animal.  What a mind fuck this was becoming.  “Screw this,” he says out loud to his empty room.  He flies out of his room and takes the steps down by twos.  As he walks into the living room, both girls are still there sitting on the couch.  They both look up at him and he shakes his head, “Not a word.” He walks past them and opens up the garage door.

Zara follows him, “Cassie what…”

He puts his hand up to stop her, “Not a word Zara.  I’ll be back, order pizza or something.” With that, he opens up the door and walks out, shutting the door behind him.  He hits a button on the far wall and the bay garage doors open.  He hops on his bike and starts the engine.  It roars to life, and he kicks his foot to push off.  It lurches forward and Castiel puts his feet up.  As soon as he clears the door, he hits the remote on his keys to close it back.  When he stops at the sign down the street, he quickly puts in his earbuds and presses play on his iPod.  Castiel takes off again, driving the roads through his neighborhood with no real direction in mind.

_Mayday!  Mayday!  The ship is slowly sinking ...  They think I'm crazy, but they don't know the feeling ...  They're all around me,  Circling like vultures ...  They wanna break me and wash away my colors ...  Wash away my colors ...  Take me high and I'll sing ...  Oh, you make everything okay, okay, okay ...  'Kay, Okay, Okay ...  We are one in the same ...  Oh, you take all of the pain away, away, away ...  'Way, away, away ...  Save me if I become ...  My demons ...  I cannot stop this sickness taking over ...  It takes control and drags me into nowhere ...  I need your help, I can't fight this forever ...  I know you're watching, ...  I can feel you out there ...  Take me high and I'll sing ...  Oh, you make everything okay, okay, okay ...  'Kay, Okay, Okay ...  We are one in the same ...  Oh, you take all of the pain away, away, away ...  'Way, away, away ...  Save me if I become ...  My demons..._

[ **Starset - My Demons - Destiel Fan Video** ](https://youtu.be/V-BWzwV6qGU)

* * *

 

It’s dark by the time he pulls into a space in front of the park.  He looks over to his right and can imagine the Impala sitting there.  With his foot, he hits the kickstand and leans the bike on it.  Castiel gets off the bike and walks around the park.  His music blocks out the voice gnawing at the back of his mind, but he won’t give in to that voice again.  He won’t let it affect him any longer.  Castiel has spent too long building his confidence back up to let himself get knocked down.  Yeah so shit happened in his past, he learned from it and moved on.  He knows deep down he deserves to be happy in whatever he chooses to do.

As he rounds the corner and sees where the Impala was parked that night, he can imagine Dean sitting on top of it, laid out on the hood smiling, inviting him in.  He can picture the kiss perfectly in his mind.  And it’s that thought that pushes him over the edge.  There was something to that kiss, damn it.  The sheer electricity of it was powerful and erased all thoughts from his mind.  Castiel takes out his phone from his pocket and brings up the messaging app.  He mentally kicks himself for never thinking to get Dean’s number, so instead he brings up Charlie’s name.

Text from you: What is Dean’s address?

Almost immediately he receives a reply.

Text from Han: Why?

Text from you: No time to explain.  What is it?

Text from Han: I’m not sure this is a good idea, Chewie.

Text from you: Han, I love you, but I’m a big boy.  Give me the address.

Text from Han: Fine.  He lives a block down the street from Singer’s Auto.  1153 River View.

Text from you: Thanks.

Castiel closes out the messages and slips the phone back in his pocket.  He wastes no time getting back on his bike and heading out in the direction of Dean’s house.  When he gets there about ten minutes later, the house is dark.  He can make out the Impala in the drive.  There is only one window with a light on, so he takes a chance that it’s Dean's window.  He picks up a small rock that he knows will not crack the window, and tosses it against the glass.  _“This is so cliché,”_  he thinks as he grabs another one and tosses it.

Castiel bends down to pick up another when he hears the window open.  He looks up to see Dean leaning out the window.  A smile crosses his face when he sees Dean’s confusion.

“What the hell man?” he asks then quickly adds, “What, no boom box blaring  _In Your Eyes_?” A cocky smile plays across his face.

 _“That beautiful, snarky bastard,”_  Castiel thinks to himself.  Out loud he says, “Move out of the way, I’m coming up.” He’s quick on his feet, moving up to the front of the house.  He grabs a flower trellis and makes his way up.  He swings his right leg to catch the ledge in front of the window, and pulls himself up on it.  Then he confidently moves in front of the window and bends down to crawl in.  Once his feet hits the floor, Castiel looks at Dean.

His eyebrows arch up in question to what the hell Castiel is doing.  Dean opens his mouth to speak, but Castiel grabs his face before he can.  Castiel pushes Dean until his back hits the wall.  He leans in near Dean’s ear and whispers, “You talk too fucking much, not another word.” Castiel moves his mouth up Dean’s neck to his lips, and at first, he feels Dean’s body go ridged.  When Castiel’s lips meet Dean’s, his body relaxes and Castiel decides to take full advantage of the situation.  He licks his tongue across Dean’s lips, which slowly opens, but Castiel doesn’t dip his tongue inside.  Instead, he uses his teeth to tug at Dean’s bottom lip.  He hears Dean’s sharp inhale, and he takes it as a sign to proceed.  Castiel dips his tongue inside the parted lips, and runs it slowly over Dean’s tongue.  He hears a soft moan from Dean’s throat.

Castiel’s hands run up Dean’s ribs, across his chest, and make their way up to his hair.  His left-hand cups Dean’s face while the right one fists his hair.  Castiel tilts his head to deepen the kiss, and after a few minutes of their tongues dancing together, Castiel pulls back.  Dean’s lips follow Castiel's, trying to chase the kiss.  Castiel rests his forehead against Dean’s while catching his breath, “Now that’s how you’re supposed to be fucking kissed.” Dean’s eyes open and they stare at each other for a minute.  Dean goes to say something again, but Castiel presses his finger against Dean’s lips, “Shhh,” he breathes out, and then walks backward, not taking his eyes off Dean.  Castiel slips out the window and hops back down, hitting the grass with both feet.  Amazingly he doesn’t land on his ass.  With one quick look back up, he sees Dean looking out over him.  Castiel quirks his lips in a smile and throws his leg over his bike, starts it up, and drives off.

* * *

 

Dean watches until Castiel is out of sight.  His mind is racing, and he walks back from the window.  He falls back on his bed and brings his fingers up to his lips.  “Whoa,” he manages to say, his voice barely above a whisper.  His lips feel bruised, and he’s sure he’ll never forget that kiss.  Hell, he is positive he won’t.  When Castiel’s tongue met his, Dean’s brain short circuited.  He couldn’t think, he almost forgot how to breathe; all he could do was feel.  The kiss didn’t affect only his brain.  He pushes his palm against his aching erection that’s just begging for release.

Subconsciously he moves his hand, dips beneath the elastic band of his sweatpants.  Dean wraps his hand around his hard flesh and begins a slow stroke.  His eyes slip closed as his thoughts are filled with Castiel’s blue eyes.  The feel of his tongue slowly running against his made his pace quicken.  Dean moans, and when he realizes what he is doing, his eyes fly open.  _“No.  No.  No.  I’m not jerking off to thoughts of Cas.” He_ removes his hand and tries to think of anything to get his mind off that damn kiss.  _“  But it feels so damn good.  Cas doesn’t have to know right?”_

* * *

 

Castiel parks the bike in the garage and walks inside.  Charlie is gone by now, and Zara is sitting on the couch when he walks part.  She doesn’t look at him, just simply says, “I made spaghetti, it's your favorite.”

He walks over to her and pulls her off the couch.  His arms wrap around her, pulling her close to his chest.  Castiel kisses her on the top of her head.  “You made dinner for me?”

She huffs a laugh while staying in his arms.  “Yeah.  Don’t get used to it, asshole.”

A smile plays across his face, “Asshole, am I?” He lets go of her and they walk into the kitchen together.

“Yes, you are.  A big one lately, too,” she says as she plates the food and moves over to the table.  They both sit down together and start eating.  There is no real conversation, just comfortable silence.

After they finish dinner, Castiel starts washing the dishes that were used.  “Thank you for Dinner.”

Zara, who is standing next to him, nods and lightly punches him in the arm,  “You’re welcome.  So where did you disappear to earlier?”

He rinses off a plate and hands it to her to dry off.  “I, ugh, well I went riding around.”

“Uh huh, and is that all you did?” She asks, grabbing another plate and running the towel over it.

Castiel stops and leans his hips into the side of the cabinet.  “I’m not getting out of this, am I?”

Zara points at the dish water to get Castiel back in gear.  “Nope, not a chance Cassie, tell me.”

He groans, grabs a fork, and washes it, “I may or may not have gone to see Dean.”

“Interesting, and what happened?” She asks as Castiel drains the water out of the sink and dries his hands.  He turns around, walks out of the kitchen, and heads upstairs.  “Castiel, damn it, talk to me,” Zara demands as she follows behind him to his room.

Castiel sits down and puts his head in his hands.  “I kissed him, okay Zara.  I kissed him again.”

She sits down beside him.  “And?”

He throws himself back on the bed.  “And it was amazing, and then I left.”

Zara moved up on the bed and lay on her side near him.  She ran her hands through his hair, “You two are idiots.  You know that right?”

* * *

 

The next day at school is as normal as they come.  Castiel stuffs books in his locker and looks up to see Dean.  He shuts the locker and walks in his direction.  Castiel leans against the wall near Dean’s locker.  Dean doesn’t see him at first, he is too focused on looking for the next book he’ll need.  When he looks up, he kind of looks tense at first, and then his face softens.  “Hey Cas,” He says as he shifts from one foot to the other.

Castiel smiles and his gaze flicks down to Dean’s lips and then back up to his eyes.  “So we’re still on for tutoring at the same time, right?”

Dean nods, “Yeah.”

Castiel’s smile grows bigger and he licks his lips.  “Cool,” He says, then pushes himself off the wall and walks off.

Dean looks at Zara, who was standing beside Castiel.  “I… I guess we’re cool then.

She puts a hand on Dean’s shoulder and says, “Yeah.  He’s like that.” She gives him a pat and then walks off after Castiel.

On the drive back home, Castiel receives two messages, one from Zara, and one from Charlie.  When he parks in the driveway he opens them.

Text from Han: Hey you don’t have to pick up Zara after theater practice.  We’re going to hang out at my house tonight.

Text from Zara: I’m going to Charlie’s tonight.  Call if you need me.

Castiel groans.  Those girls apparently think they are sneaky, but he knows better.  They set this up so he would be alone with Dean.  “Damn them,” He says as several versions of him wringing their pretty little necks flashes through his mind.  He opens up a group message to them.

Text from you: I’m going to kill you both….dead… just as an aside.

He gets a message back from them that say almost the exact same thing.

Text from group: We love you :)

But we love you, Cassie

Text from you: Screw you both!

He puts his phone in his pocket and gets out of the truck.  He walks to unlock the door and goes inside to wait for Dean.  Castiel throws his bag down and heads up to his room.  He quickly changes his shirt, opting for just a gray tank top.  Back downstairs he sits on the couch and grabs the remote for the TV.  He flips through the channels not really sure what he wants to watch.  Hell, if he could even get his mind to focus on it that long.  As he sits there and stares at the TV, he decides he needs to have a talk with Dean.  Whatever is going on between them needs to be hashed out before they could move on, if he could get the balls to bring it up to Dean that is.

* * *

 

When Castiel hears a knock at the door, he shuts off the TV and walks over to open it.  He definitely wasn’t prepared to see a shirtless Dean on the other side of the door. 

Castiel’s eyes are glued to Dean’s chest for a few seconds before he looks up, moving to let Dean in the door.  “You seriously have a habit of showing up at my door topless.”

Dean walks past him and rolls his shoulders.  “I’m, uh, sorry.  I’m hot as hell after practice.  Even a cold shower didn’t help cool me off.

“It’s cool, no need to apologize,” Castiel says as he walks into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water for Dean.  “I can be a good boy,” He adds under his breath.  When he turns around, Dean is standing behind him and he almost bumps into him.  “Fuck I’m sorry.”

Dean smiles and takes the bottle of water from him.  He unscrews the lid and throws his head back, taking a long pull from it.  Castiel tries not to think about kissing the vast expanse of Dean’s neck.  Dean’s eyes meet his as he swallows, and a lazy smile plays across his face.  Castiel watches as Dean takes his shirt that is hanging out of his back pocket and slips it back over his head. 

“Ugh… let’s get started, shall we?” Castiel asks and he moves past Dean into the living room, plopping down on the couch.  Dean sits down next to him, closer than he has before, but not close enough that they are touching.  _“Behave Castiel.  Think about anything other than Dean being within reach,”_ he mentally scolds himself.  Castiel clears his throat and shifts to lean on the arm of the couch, “So what are we working on today?”

Dean looks over at him and grins, “Well actually, I’m just here to hang out with you.”

Castiel almost stutters out, “Hang out?”

Dean huffs a laugh, “Yeah, hang out, Cas.  I already finished my homework in our free period.  I was bored, so yeah.”

“Well, I need to check my bike out.  It was being a pain in the ass this morning and I had to drive my truck,” Castiel says.

Dean nods, “Yeah, cool, lead the way.” They get off the couch and Dean follows Castiel out into the garage. “  Oh hey, are you going to KU for the athletic event tomorrow?”

Castiel kneels down by his bike and starts tinkering with it.  “Yeah, it’s kind of required.  Besides, a weekend away from here will be like therapy.  I had my brother Gabe book a room at a motel near the college.”

“Start the engine and let me hear it run,” Dean says as he moves closer.  Castiel stands up, puts the keys in, and cranks it over.  “She sounds fine Cas, but in order for me to really tell, I’d have to ride it.”

Two words Castiel didn’t need to hear coming out of Dean’s mouth right now,  _ride it_.  He immediately dismissed the thoughts of Dean riding, anything, out of his mind.  “Come on; let’s take her for a spin.”

Castiel gets on the bike and slips his helmet on.  He feels Dean get on behind him, and waits until he puts the other helmet one on.  When Dean wraps his arms around Castiel’s waist, he has to mentally keep himself in check.  Castiel presses the button to open the garage and takes off, hitting the button when he is out on the street.  They ride around for a while before Castiel stops down by the lake.  The sun is setting, and the orange tint to the sky is beautiful reflecting off the water.  Castiel notices Dean doesn’t attempt to move, nor does he take his arms from where they hold Castiel.  They take off their helmets and watch the sunset.

He inhales sharply when he can feel Dean’s warm breath on his neck.  Castiel doesn’t think he just takes action, spinning around to face Dean, and then pulls him so that Dean is straddling him.  Castiel’s hands automatically go to Dean’s waist.  The look on Dean's face is unreadable, but he doesn’t move off Castiel’s lap.  Castiel pulls Dean down to where their lips are just mere inches from each other, “If you aren’t okay with this, I need you to tell me now,” He breathes out.  Dean doesn’t answer; he just closes the distance, brushing their lips together.

The kiss is slow, tongues twisting, searching, almost as if they’re trying to map out every inch of each other’s mouth and commit it to memory.  Dean’s hands find their way to Castiel’s hair, and he tugs at it lightly.  Castiel’s hands trail up inside of Dean’s shirt, running over the soft tanned skin.  Soft moans from both boys fill the air around them.  When they break apart to breathe, with their foreheads touching, Castiel let out a soft sigh, “What are we doing?”

Dean runs his hand through Castiel’s hair, forcing him to tilt his head up and look into his eyes.  “I’m not sure, but I like it.”

Castiel huffs a laugh, “Come on, let’s get back, before this goes any further.”

Dean nods, but doesn’t move off Castiel’s lap.  He leans forward and places a soft kiss on Castiel’s lips, no tongue this time, just lips gently moving.

Castiel breaks the kiss and looks off over the water, “Really Dean, we have to stop... before I do something you’ll regret.”

* * *

 

When they get back to Castiel’s, he parks the bike, and Dean pulls himself away from Castiel, dismounting the bike. Castiel almost instantly misses Dean’s warmth on his back.  Dean turns to walk to his car but stops himself, “Hey Cas?”

Castiel leans against a table against the wall, “Yeah?”

Dean looks off in the distance and then back, “We’re still good, right?”

Running a hand through his hair, Castiel huffs a small laugh, “Yeah, Dean.  We’re good.”

“Cool.  I was wondering if you want to ride with me to the event tomorrow.” Dean asks. “We’re going to the same place.  No need to take two cars, right?  Besides, you can finally see how Baby runs.”

Castiel tilts his head to the side, “Yeah, I would like that.”

Dean gives Castiel a hundred-watt smile, and walks backward out the garage.  “Be ready at six.  We have to be up at the school at six-thirty.  I’ll pick you up.” With that, he turned around and walked the rest of the way to the Impala.

Castiel waves at him as he drives off.  He turns around to unlock the door and walks inside.  It’s too far to walk to his room right now with all the thoughts running through his head.  Castiel didn’t miss how much closer Dean was to him on the way back.  And he definitely could feel the outline of Dean’s hard-on pressing against him.  He couldn’t figure out what changed, or what exactly was going on, but he decided he wasn’t going to overthink it.  If he did, it would only give him a headache.  He pushes off the couch and walks upstairs to his room.  Castiel strips down to only his boxers and flips off the light.  He pulls back the covers to lay underneath them.  Tomorrow should be an interesting day, to say the least.  A talk with Dean is in order, and they could do that on the way to the city.  He couldn’t let this, whatever it was, ruin his friendship with Dean.  And he knows better than to pursue it because it would only end in heartbreak for him.

Castiel shifts to lie on his side and close his eyes.  Tomorrow he is definitely laying it all out for Dean.  He simply can’t give into his urges.  It was hard enough to fight them out at the lake.  Hopefully, it can be stopped before everything blows up in their faces.  Castiel knows he could lose himself in Dean, and the thought alone scares the shit out of him.  Castiel can’t, won't, allow himself to give his heart to anyone else.  He learned from the first time, and there is no way in hell he will repeat that mistake.  As his mind drifts in the darkness between awake and asleep, it is filled with Dean’s beautiful green eyes blown wide with desire, the feel of Dean’s lips on his, the kiss between them is seared into Castiel’s mind.  He can’t admit to himself that he is already falling for the boy, but he has enough time to do something about it, to build up a wall and hide behind it.  If only he has the willpower to do it.  He knows he is one hundred percent screwed.

[Adam Lambert - Runnin - Chapter Title Inspiration](https://youtu.be/kHicliUheO4?list=RDLSvOTw8UH6s)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	7. Headstrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> *Updates may come slower as I'm starting a new job Tuesday. But I PROMISE I'm not just going to let this hang in the balance.*
> 
> Warning: A few slurs in this chapter. I'm sorry I really hate writing them.

Friday morning comes way too early. Castiel wakes up at  five am to make sure he has enough time to get everything together. The school is holding the event at the Kansas City campus.  His first stop is a hot shower.  When he gets out, he dresses in a white v-neck shirt with a black button down, unbuttoned, of course, and jeans.  In his room, he quickly packs an overnight bag full of clothes.  He hurries downstairs to make a pot of coffee, knowing he will need it today.  Castiel is normally used to waking up at this hour, but last night his sleep was fitful.  Once back upstairs, he sits on the bed to put on his socks and shoes, and in another bag throws in his track clothes and running shoes.  Gabriel had sent him a message the previous night confirming he had booked Castiel a room with two beds and gave him the name of the hotel.  He just had to show his ID at the desk when he showed up.  Apparently, the manager is friends with his brother.  He walks back in the bathroom to brush his teeth, then checks the time.

He picks up his bags, walks downstairs, and puts them on the island.  In the kitchen he pours a cup of coffee, black, and grabs a banana.  He pours the rest of the coffee in a thermos for the road.  Castiel goes in search of his black leather trench coat since the weather is starting to get chilly. He is sure he won’t need it all day, but in the morning and definitely at night, it is a must. Castiel pulls out his phone and sends Charlie a text, telling her where to meet him when she gets out of school.  After the message is sent he looks at the time, Dean should be arriving soon, so he grabs his stuff and walks to the door. Sitting his bags down outside, he slips on the coat and stands on the porch drinking his coffee.  It's still a little dark out and he enjoys looking at the sky.  He has always been drawn to the night. Not sure why, but he prefers it to the daytime.  

Sure enough, about ten minutes later, Dean pulls up to the curb.  Castiel hops off the porch, turns around to pick up his stuff, and walks to the car. Dean gets out of the car and pops the trunk so Castiel could put his bags inside. Once the trunk was closed, both boys get in the car and take off.  Metallica is blaring through the speakers in the car and Dean glances over to Castiel and smiles.  He turns down the radio and says, “So what do you think about my Baby?”

Castiel returns the smile and says, “She runs like a dream.” He closes his eyes and listens to the engine run for a few minutes. If he allows himself, he could probably fall asleep.  With his eyes still closed he asks, “So how did you manage to talk the coach into letting you drive your car to the City?  Normally we have to ride on the bus.”

Keeping his eyes on the road, Dean replies, “The bus we usually take broke down two days ago.  The rental isn’t big enough for all of us, so I brought it up to coach that I could drive my car.  Since I’m the captain of the football team, he trusts me more than he does the other knuckleheads, although apparently he had to argue with the principal about it, but eventually he caved.  Does anyone know you’ll have your own room?”

Castiel opens his eyes and looks over at him. “No. But I don’t care what they say about it either. I don’t want to share a room with three other guys. Besides, normally they don’t question what I do.”

Dean pulls into the parking lot of the school and finds a space. He shuts off the engine and hops out. Castiel follows him. “I’m going to check in, Dean. I’ll meet you back out here in fifteen.”

Dean nods and walks to the field where his team is waiting. Castiel goes to the school and checks in at the office.  Once he is back outside, the bus was already loaded and ready to go.  Dean and Castiel slide back in the car. Castiel turns to Dean before he can get a chance to turn the music on. “So are we going to talk about the fact that neither you, nor I, can keep from kissing each other?”

Dean gives him a sideways glance as he starts the car, “What’s there to talk about, Cas?  We kissed, more than once, I like it… you liked it.  We are both of old enough to decide who we kiss.”

Castiel shifts to where he is sitting sideways in the seat, “Yeah, I know that, but Dean, you’re straight.” He runs a hand through his hair, “It’s something we need to talk about…”

“Cas, I like you, okay.  I like-” Dean starts, but his sentence is cut off when a loud thump hits the roof of the car.  He looks out the driver’s window and sees Cole, Victor, and Benny standing there, grinning.  Dean rolls down the window. “You assholes hurt my baby and I’ll murder you slowly.”

The guys laugh and open the back door. “Coach said to ride with you. With us on the bus, it was cramped.” Cole explains.

“Son of a bitch,” Dean mutters under his breath in response. He watches in the review mirror as the other guys slide in and settle down. Dean turns on the radio and pops in a cassette tape. AC/DC starts playing as Dean waits for the bus to pull out of the school property and then follows behind. The first thirty minutes go by smoothly, but, of course, that can’t last the whole trip with five guys in one car.  Victor is the one to open his mouth and screw it up.

“So, Winchester, since when did you start being buddies with little boy queer?” Victor asks.

Castiel turns his head to look at Victor and glares, “Just because we're in a car, doesn’t mean I won’t jump back there and beat your face in.”

“Oh big talk, Novak.  Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” Victor says while flipping Castiel off.

“You mother-” Castiel starts, but Dean cuts him off, “Victor, why don’t you do us all a favor and shut your fucking mouth.”

“Taking up for the faggot now are you?” Victor leans forward, sitting behind Dean. “If I didn’t know any better, I would think you’re fucking him now.”

Dean looks up in the review mirror, darting his eyes between it and the road. “Don’t  _ever_  let me hear you call him that again, or anyone for that matter. If you do, I’ll personally make sure you regret the day you were born. If I  _was_  fucking him, it’s none of  _your_  damn business.” Dean is gripping the steering wheel by now, his knuckles turning white. “ When the bus makes a pit stop, you’re out of here.”

“Oh it’s like that, is it now?” Victor spits. “Choosing a freak over your friend?”

“Enough Victor,” Benny cuts in. Victor sits back and crosses his arm across his chest. The guys know when Benny speaks up, it’s time to shut up.  Sure enough, when the bus pulls into a gas station, Victor gets on the bus with the other players.  Castiel stays in the car while the other guys go in and grab snacks. Once they are back on the road, the tension is gone and the four of the ride in silence until Cole and Benny start talking about the event and what teams would be there.

* * *

 

Today will be track and field players, and tomorrow the football teams take the field.  Apparently, there will be scouts from various schools attending. By the time, they pull into KU, Castiel is red in the face from laughing so hard at Benny and Cole’s antics.  The four of them hop out and help the team unload the bus. Castiel has to be on the field in an hour, so he takes off to get in the ‘zone’.  Dean, Benny, and Cole said they will be watching him from the sidelines and that afterward they should get together and hang out.  He agrees, and with that, goes inside the locker room to change and warm up. 

A couch from KU explains how the competition will go and then releases them to hit the field.  First, Castiel will be running against the other track members from his school. The same thing goes for the other schools in attendance. One runner from each school will be picked afterward, and then they are to compete against each other.  Castiel sits in the bleachers watching the other teams with Dean, Benny, and Cole. When it comes time for their school to hit the track, Castiel confidently steps out and gets in position.

"So you think Novak will take first place?” Coles asks.

Dean doesn’t turn to answer him. He is closely watching Castiel get ready to run. “Yeah man, he’s definitely the fastest runner in our school.”  The starter pistol goes off and the guys watch as the runners take off. “Keep your eyes on Cas, see how he hangs back at first?  He knows the other runners will take off full force. But not him, he’s waiting till about the halfway point and then he’ll pull ahead.” Several names are being called out for encouragement. “Come on, Novak, you’ve got this man.  Leave their asses in the dust, Cas.” Sure enough, half way through, Castiel surges ahead of the pack and he crosses the finish line in first place.

When Dean looks over at Cole and Benny, they both have shit-eating grins on their faces.  “What?” Dean asks.

Benny shakes his head, “Nothing, brotha.”

Castiel walks off the track and grabs a bottled water from the cooler sitting on the grass.  He waits to hear the announcer read off the names that will be competing next. Cheerleaders from the college walk out to the field to entertain the crowd during the break. Once they are done with their routine, the announcer walks to the middle of the field.

“For the next track competition, from North Kansas City High School, Paul Stafford, from Kansas City High School, Hunter Drost, from Wichita High School East, Joshua Droddy, from Smithville High School, Cecil Craddock, from Liberty High School, William Grisolia, and finally, from Lawrence High School, Castiel Novak.  The competition will start in twenty minutes.” The crowd erupts in cheers and Castiel walks off the field to the bleachers.  They all congratulate him, Benny and Cole both fists bump him, and Dean claps him on the back.

“Save that till after the final competition, when I beat those guys into submission,” Castiel says and takes another long pull from the water bottle.  “Alright, I guess I better get back out there and stretch. My muscles are gonna kill me tonight.” Castiel walks off to do just that while the cheerleaders are on the field again. He looks back in the direction of the bleachers and sees Benny and Cole flirting with a couple of girls while Dean sits there laughing at them. He shakes his head and sits down to start warming up again. As the KU band is playing a rendition of Pharrell William's  _‘Happy’_.

The announcer tells the players to get in position and Dean’s attention is back on the field. His eyes never leave Castiel, and when the runners take off, the crowd hits their feet.  Some people are jumping up and down; others are dancing to the band playing.  Dean; however, is standing still shouting out encouragement for Castiel with Benny and Cole.  As soon as Castiel crosses the finish line, winning, of course, Dean yells, “Hell yeah, that’s my boy.” Then realizing what he said, he turns to his friends. “  I… uh…”

“Dude, no need to explain,” Cole cuts him off.

Benny smiles, “Yeah, brotha, what you do, and who you do it with is your business.” They all three sit back down to watch the rest of the field games.

“Dude, it’s not like that.  Hell, I don’t even know what it is,” Dean says keeping his eyes on the field.

Cole puts a hand on his shoulder, “Then figure out what it is, man.  You know Benny and I have your back. No judgment from us.”

Dean looks over to both his friends, “What about the…”

“The rest of the team?” Benny finishes for him. “Like I said, it’s your business, Dean.  I doubt anyone will care, and if they do, fuck ‘em.”

“Thanks, guys,” Dean says, turning his attention back to the field.

* * *

 

Once Castiel is showered and dressed in his normal clothes, he goes back out to the field.  The guys are talking about grabbing food somewhere local, and ask if Castiel wanted to tag along.  He agrees, and the four of them head to the car and slide in.  They find a local diner, and sit at a booth in the back.  A waitress comes over, takes their drink order, and gives them a few minutes to decide what they want to eat.  When the waitress comes back, Dean, Benny, and Cole order burgers and fries.  Castiel orders a chef salad with grilled chicken.

“Ugh, you like rabbit food like Sammy,” Dean says while chewing a bite of his food.

Castiel huffs a laugh, “Hey, I didn’t get this sexy body overnight.”

The four of them eat and the conversation ranges from girls to sports. Benny turns to Castiel, “So, you have a boyfriend?” Castiel almost chokes on his food.  He never hides his sexuality.  Everyone at school knows he is gay, but he isn’t used to being asked, straight out, about whom he is seeing. 

Castiel shakes his head, “Nah, I haven’t had one for a few years now.” He looks down at his salad, pushing it around the plate with his fork, so he doesn’t see Benny and Cole exchanging looks with Dean who then rolls his eyes.  Thankfully, the guy picks up the fact he is uncomfortable about that line of questioning, so they drop it and move on to another topic.

They leave the diner and Dean drops Castiel off at his motel, which is close by the one where the team is staying.  Both of the motels are within walking distance of the KU field. Castiel is grateful that he will have some alone time before Zara and Charlie show up. He looks at his phone and notices it is a little after five pm.  Ten minutes later, Castiel gets a text from Charlie.

Text from Han: Chewie we will head out in the morning. Mom wanted to take Zara and me to dinner.

Text from you: Excuses!

Text from you: No really, that’s cool.  I’ll see you in the morning.  

Castiel sends another text letting her know what motel he is at and the room number, then puts his phone on the bedside table and kicks back on the bed.  He turns the TV on, but can’t find anything he is interested in so he decides to take a walk.  Of course, he winds up back out at the KU field. There are still students competing for several different sports. He sits down in the bleachers watching the event.

“Hey Cas,” Dean says as he sits down next to him.  “I was hoping I’d find you here.”

Castiel glances over at him and notices Dean is alone. “Where are Benny and Cole?”

“They are hanging with the girls they met earlier,” He answers, and they both watch what is happening on the field.  Currently, there is a team doing hurdle jumps. After about an hour, Dean asks if Castiel wants something from the concession stand.  He declines and Dean walks off to get himself something.

“Hello, Castiel. Long time no see.”

[Headstrong - Trapt- Chapter Title Inspiration ](https://youtu.be/B3J6CyeFUds)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so smut is not exactly my forte.  
> Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed the chapter as much as I did writing it.  
> Again I'll say I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up. I'll try to write after work and definitely on the weekends.  
> Feedback is always appreciated to let me know how I'm doing. I love these boys a lot. So the question is now what would you like to see happen now?
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	8. Titanium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning possible slurs in different chapters.

“Hello, Castiel.  Long time no see.”  The familiar voice sends chills down his spine, and Castiel turns to see Zeke standing next to him.  “You’re looking good. Still as sexy as I remember.”

Castiel stands up, not bothering to say anything, and walks off in the direction Dean went.  Once he is about ten feet from the bleachers, Zeke grabs him by the arm.  “I see you still haven’t learned to speak to me when I address you.”

“I thought I told you I never wanted to speak to again,” Castiel replies, and yanks his arm out of Zeke’s grip. 

“I’ve missed you, Castiel.”

“Fuck you. You treated me like shit when we were together, Zeke. I want nothing to do with you.” Castiel turns around to walk off and Zeke grabs him again.

“Don’t walk away from me, Castiel,” Zeke says in a low voice and releases Castiel’s arm.

Castiel feels a warm arm around his waist, “There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Dean says after he kisses Castiel on the cheek.

“Who the hell is this, Castiel?”

Dean pulls Castiel closer to him. “I think the question would be who the hell are you?”

“He’s no one, Dean,” Castiel answers, turns out of Dean’s arms, and walks off.  He walks back to the motel and lets himself in the room. Dean is right behind him and catches the door before it closes.

Castiel is fuming, and turns around sharply when he feels Dean touch his arm.  “You know, Dean, I just can’t figure you out.  Is this some kind of fucking game to you? Hey, let's pretend to be gay. That will be fun. Well, I'm not pretending, Dean. I’m gay."

"Whoa, hold up Cas. Who said I was playing some game with you? I don't know what exactly we're doing, but I'm pretty sure you don't either.  All I know is that I saw some guy giving you a hard time…"

Castiel lets out a dark laugh, "You don't know shit about that, Dean. Just stay the fuck out of it, okay?  I’m gonna take a shower, you can go, unless you would rather watch and get your rocks off." Castiel pulls his shirt off over his head and walks toward the bathroom.

Dean feels the anger boil up inside him. He starts to say something until his eyes land on Castiel's tattoo. He grabs Castiel by the arm and tosses him onto the bed. Castiel tries to sit up, but Dean pushes him back, crawls up on the bed, and straddles Castiel.

"You’re in for a world of hurt, Dean.  Back. The.  Fuck. Off. Me," Castiel growls still trying to get up.  

Dean practically yells, "No! No, Cas, I won't.  I care about you. Your tattoo says look into your eyes, it’s where your demon hides.” Dean pins Castiel's hands to the bed and stares directly into his eyes.  He says sincerely, "Where's your demon, Cas? Show me."

Castiel closes his eyes, "Fuck you. You wouldn't understand."

"Open your eyes, Cas,” Dean requests quietly, but Castiel doesn't open them. Dean repeats himself a little louder, and shakes Castiel in the process.  Castiel still doesn't open his eyes, but one single tear escapes and trickles down his cheek.  Dean releases Castiel hands and brushes away the tear. He clenches his teeth, "Who was he?"

Castiel opens his eyes and sighs. “I met this guy when I was a freshman. I was crazy about him. He was a junior, and everything was going well at first, but he made me keep our relationship hidden from everyone.  Behind closed doors, he was attentive and everything I could have asked for, at school, he ignored me and would join in with other students harassing me.  One night he asked me to go to a party. I stupidly went, and of course, wouldn’t you fucking know it, he ignored me, that is until I went to leave.  He had two of his friends stop me. Long story short, he helped hold me down while one of the guys beat my ass.”

Castiel sits up and launches Dean off him.  "You met him earlier.  Zeke is who I was talking to, or was talking to me, actually.” Castiel walks a few steps towards the bathroom. He stops and without turning back to Dean he says, “And if you ever hold me down like that again, we better be fucking. There's the door," Castiel motions with his head, then walks into the bathroom and slams the door.

* * *

 

Dean leaves Castiel’s room and immediately texts Benny to see where he is.  After reading the reply text, he heads to where they are.  He explains he is going after Zeke, and what happened on the field.  Benny and Cole both tell him it’s not a good idea but they leave with him to find Zeke. It wasn’t hard, he was in the same place Dean and Castiel left him.  Dean walks up to Zeke and tells him he wants to have a little chat with him, and all four guys walk out to the parking lot.

“So you’re the asshole that held Cas down while he got the shit beat out of him,” Dean says.

Zeke laughs, “Cas? Oh, you mean  _Castiel_. Yeah, that would be me. Who are you, his guard dog?” He steps in closer to Dean, whispering, “Or are you his bitch?”

Dean’s hands clench at his sides. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying hard not to punch Zeke, but the guy isn’t making it easy.  He opens his eyes and says, “I suggest you watch what you say to me, dickhead,” Dean warns, his voice dripping with venom.

Zeke steps closer, only inches from Dean’s face.  “Look, I don’t have time for this. So I suggest you and your friends back the fuck off. Trust me, when he comes here for college, it’ll be _my_ bed he’s warming at night.” Dean steps back, trying to control the rage burning like a wildfire in him.  Zeke laughs again, “Castiel deserved everything that he got that night. He was worthless then, and he is worthless now.”

As soon as the last word left Zeke’s mouth, Dean knocks his ass to the ground.  He sits on Zeke’s chest, and they both land a few punches before he’s flipped on his back and Zeke is on top of him.  Zeke pins his arms down and leans in close to Dean’s ear. “Castiel is a nice piece of ass. That’s the only thing he is good for.”

Dean growls and manages to get his feet up, finally able to push off the ground and flip Zeke off him.  He scrambles on top of Zeke, “That’s where you’re wrong. Castiel is worth more than that; even I can see that.  You; however, were just too fucking blind.” Dean’s fist meets Zeke’s nose.  The crack of bones rings out, and he draws his fist back again.  Benny grabs his arm before another punch connects. He pulls Dean off Zeke. While Zeke is still on the ground, Dean stands over him and says, “I better not hear of, or see you talk to him again.  Trust me; you won’t like what I do to you next time.  Do you fucking understand me?”

Benny grabs Dean’s arm again. “Come on, let's go brotha.  You’ve said your peace.” Dean turns around to walk away, but stops and spits in Zeke’s face.  As they walk away, Dean can hear Zeke shouting at him, but he keeps moving.

* * *

 

Castiel hears a knock at his door and glances at the clock. It’s after eight now. He gets up, walks to the door, and opens it.  Castiel steps back and lets Dean, Benny, and Cole in. He turns around and glares at Dean. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Dean goes to open his mouth, and Benny shakes his head.  “I don’t know what is going on between you two, but I suggest you have a little talk with Dean.  He just got into a fight with a guy over you.”

Castiel’s arches an eyebrow, “He did what?” Castiel steps closer to Dean, and can clearly see a few cuts on his cheek.  “What the hell did you do that for, Dean? I told you to stay out of it.”

“Yeah, that’s not Dean. When he cares about someone, he doesn’t think, he reacts,” Cole says, and then he motions for Benny to follow him.  “We’ll leave you two alone now.” Castiel doesn’t take his eyes off Dean, but hears the door shut.  Dean sits on the edge of one of the beds.

“Damn it, Dean, I don’t understand why you would do something like that.” Castiel walks into the bathroom, grabs a washcloth, and wets it.  Back in the room he sits down beside Dean and presses the cloth to his face to clean off some of the blood.  

Their eyes meet and Dean leans forward and kisses Castiel softly.  Castiel pulls back and goes to stand up. “Cas…”

“We can’t do this, Dean.” He gets up, walks over to a chair, and sits down.  He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and puts his head in his hands.

“We can’t, or you won’t, Cas?”

“It doesn’t matter, Dean. You don’t know what you’re doing. You’re straight.” he says and lifts his head up to meet Dean’s eyes from across the room.

“You’re an idiot, you know that? Considering the fact that I keep kissing you, I’m obviously not that straight.” Dean runs a hand through his hair. “  Why are you fighting this so hard?”

Castiel leans back in the chair and stares at the ceiling. “I’m not an experiment, Dean. I’ll never be that naive again.”

“I’m not Zeke!” Dean growls. “I would never treat you that way. Sure, I haven’t done anything like this before.  All I know is since the first night you kissed me, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind.  Yes, it scares the hell out of me,” Dean gets up and walks over to Castiel.  He reaches out and takes Castiel’s hand. Castiel lifts his head and meets Dean’s eyes again. “But I want to find out what this is.”

“Dean. I can’t…” Castiel’s sentence is cut off when Dean’s lips met his own. All reason to fight left his head and soon he returns the kiss. Castiel’s places his hands on both sides of Dean’s face, trying to be mindful of the bruises that are already forming. With his legs, he pushes himself up, not breaking the kiss, and walks Dean to the bed.  The kiss is broken long enough to get their shirts off and tossed aside.  Then they both lay on the bed side by side. Their lips find each other again.  Castiel slowly runs his tongue across Dean’s lips, which part to allow him entrance.  A soft moan escapes Dean’s throat, and he puts his arm around Castiel’s waist to pull him closer.

Castiel pulls back, “Are you sure you want this, Dean? I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself…”

“Yes, damn it, Cas, now kiss me.” Castiel pushes Dean on his back and rolls on top of him.  Their lips meet again, Castiel catches Dean’s bottom lips between his teeth, and he tugs.  A deep moan comes from Dean this time, and Castiel chuckles.  Dean likes a little pain with pleasure, and Castiel files that away for later.  Castiel releases Dean’s lip and moves down his jaw, ghosting his lips down Dean’s neck and stopping to press a kiss where Dean’s neck meets his shoulder.  He bites at the soft skin and then licks the same place. Dean’s hips arch up, grinding against Castiel.  Moans come from both boys.

“If you don’t stop that I’ll cum,” Castiel says, panting against Dean’s skin.  Dean repeats the action and another moan escapes Castiel. The friction adds fuel to the fire already raging in Castiel. He opens his mouth to tell Dean they should take it slow, but when their mouths meet again, his brain stutters to a stop.  He can’t think clearly, and honestly he doesn’t want to.  Somewhere in the process, even though Castiel can’t really remember how, they end up in just their boxers, and then it’s fingers pulling through hair, tongues, and lips tasting as much skin that is in reach, bodies moving together, grinding.  Castiel inhales Dean’s scent, an intoxicating mixture of leather, wood, and something indescribable that is undeniably Dean.

They pick up a rhythm, lying side by side, grinding together.  Time screeches to a stop, and the air is filled with their breathless pants and moans.  Neither one of them can get enough of the other, and their boxers are the next thing to be thrown across the room as Dean pulls Castiel impossibly closer.  The sensation is a mix of wet and friction as their cocks line up, and their pre-come provides enough lubrication.  The only thing Castiel can think of is Dean’s body pressed against his, and he knows he should stop, but he simply doesn’t have the restraint.  All he can hear is the sound of their bodies moving together, along with groans of pleasure coming from Dean and his own mouth.

“Cas … so … good… fuck…” That along with Dean’s hands in his hair, pulling, is enough to drive Castiel insane and push him over the edge.  He bites down on Dean’s shoulder as he tumbles over the edge, and his release hits him hard.  Dean follows close behind him when Castiel moans out, “Dean… oh god… Dean.” Their bodies slow, moving enough to work them through their orgasm, and they finally stop and just lay there, tangled up in each other.  When the feeling of their cum goes cold between them, Castiel moves off the bed and pads to the bathroom.  He grabs another washcloth and wets it with warm water. Back in the room, he cleans off Dean and himself, and crawls back in bed.  Dean moves off the bed to find his boxers, puts them on, and hands Castiel his own.     

Things kind of get awkward after Castiel lies down and pulls the cover up over his body. Dean shifts from one foot to the other as if he is deciding if he should stay or go.  If he is honest, he wants Dean to stay, but he won’t ask.  Their eyes lock and it’s as if they are having an unspoken conversation because the next thing Castiel knows, Dean walks over to the other side of the bed and crawls in.  Castiel doesn’t say anything; he just reaches over, turns off the light, and settles back down on his back.

Castiel can feel how tense Dean is, and he can’t hold his tongue any longer, “Dean… are you okay?” Dean remains quiet for a few minutes and Castiel starts mentally kicking himself for allowing this to happen.  He really should have known better. Dean is straight, and is probably just confused.  Castiel knows he shouldn’t have taken advantage of the situation. Sure, Dean kissed him first, but Castiel could have, should have stopped him.  He hears Dean take a deep breath and let it out.

“Yeah, Cas.  I’m good. That was… wow. I can’t explain it,” He finally says, and Castiel lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“You know, Dean, this doesn’t have to happen again.  I understand if it was too much for you. It won’t affect our friendship,” Castiel says as he looks up at the ceiling.

“Is that what you want, Cas?” Dean asks, and Castiel doesn’t miss the hesitation in his voice.

“Honestly no. I like you… a lot,” He answers almost in a whisper, and Dean apparently hears it.

“Good, then shut your beautiful face.  Quit worrying; I’m not going to have a big gay panic.” Dean says and moves to where he is lying on his side, facing Castiel.

“Dean, your friends…” Castiel starts.

“My friends can either take me as I am, or go fuck themselves.  I’m done pleasing other people.” He moves in closer and runs a hand through Castiel’s hair. “Cole and Benny have already figured it out, and they are fine with it.  I guess all the time we’ve spent together was a tip off.” His hand moves down and cups Castiel’s face. “I don’t know what it is about you, but I can’t stay away, and I don’t want to either.  I wasn’t lying when I said I won’t treat you like Zeke did.  You deserve way better than that.” He kisses Castiel lightly on the lips, “Now let’s get some sleep. I have a long day ahead of me. Goodnight, Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean,” Castiel replies, and he feels Dean settle down close to him.  They aren’t touching, but are only inches apart.  Castiel closes his eyes and he listens as Dean’s breathing evens out. A soft smile plays crosses his face. He hasn’t been this terrified of something in his life, but he wants to believe Dean’s words. Deep down he knows Dean is nothing like Zeke, but what will tomorrow bring?  Will Dean wake up and change his mind? Will he never want to see Castiel again? A panic starts to rise from his chest to his throat, and he tries to keep it under control.  His skin starts to crawl with regret, and he squeezes his eyes shut tighter.  Fuck, why does this have to happen?  Why did he have to go and fall for the beautiful green-eyed boy lying next to him?  He thought he was smarter than that. Castiel is seconds away from having a full-blown panic attack when Dean’s arm makes its way across his chest and pulls him closer.

“Shhh, Cas it’s okay, sleep,” Dean whispers in a gruff voice against his ear, and presses a light kiss there.  “Everything will be okay.” Castiel’s body relaxes with those words, and sleep finally consumes him.

* * *

 

The next morning, Castiel wakes up to find Dean’s arm wrapped around his waist and his chest pressed up against Castiel’s back.  Castiel doesn’t want to break this cocoon of safety and warmth. It’s odd how he already feels safe in Dean’s arms, like nothing can harm him as long as Dean is around.  He feels Dean shift behind him, and a sigh escapes Dean’s lips.  His hold on Castiel only becomes tighter, and Castiel can feel Dean’s warm breath on his neck.

“Morning,” Dean says quietly, his voice rough from sleep.

“Morning,” Castiel replies and his eyes slips closed again.

“I need a shower, and after I’m done, do you want to grab some breakfast?  I need grub to fuel my body,” Dean says against Castiel’s ear.

Castiel huffs a laugh when his stomach answers for him by growling. “Yeah, sounds good to me.” Dean pulls himself out of bed and walks into the bathroom.  Castiel hears the shower turn on and he lays there with a stupid smile on his face. All of his fear he had last night fades away, and he feels an unfamiliar sensation.  He’s happy. Honestly happy, which should terrify the shit out of him, but it doesn’t.  Castiel gets up and puts on a Metallica t-shirt and a pair of worn jeans that are ripped in the knees.  He is just about to put on his socks when he hears a knock at the door. Shit, that must be Charlie and Zara.  Fuck, how is he going to explain Dean being in his room?  It’s not like he can say that he slept in the other bed considering it’s still perfectly made.  He thinks about messing it up just to avoid an awkward conversation when the knock comes again, louder this time.      

He gets up, walks over to the door, and opens it.  Zara and Charlie brush past him. “Morning, sleeping beauty,” Zara says with her back to him.  When she turns around, her face drops, “Why do you have that freshly fucked look on your face?”

Castiel’s raises his eyebrows at her and then looks at the ground. “What are you talking about?”

“Chewie, you’re practically glowing.  Oh, and I hear the shower running.  He’s still here?”

“Who is it, Cassie?” Zara asks with a shit eating grin on her face. Castiel knows she is about three minutes from squealing and jumping up and down.

Castiel opens his mouth to explain when the door opens, and Dean appears with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.  Zara and Charlie let out a collective, “Oh shit.”

Dean doesn’t look affected by their presence. “What, can’t a guy take a shower?” He turns to Cas, “Do you have anything I can borrow?  I left my clothes back in the other room.”

Castiel walks to his bag, grabs a pair of his sweatpants and a t-shirt, hands them to Dean, and watches him disappear back behind the door.  He turns back to face his friends. “Not a word, not one fucking word.” Castiel sits back down on the bed to continue getting ready; both girls plop down, one on each side.

“Oh no, you’re not getting out of it that easy, Castiel,” Charlie says with a smile on her face.

Zara throws her arm around Castiel’s shoulder. “It looks like we have a lot to talk about my friend.”

“Uh, no we don’t, Zara,” he says as he continues putting on his socks.  Castiel glances over at Charlie, and zeros in on a purple bruise on her neck, just barely covered by the collar of her shirt.  He laughs, low at first, and then burst into a hysterical laughter.  Castiel stands up and turns around to face the girls. “Now, I know you two aren’t trying to grill me on what happened last night when Charlie has a fucking hickey!” A blush creeps across Charlie’s face, and Zara gives Castiel a smug smile.

Zara shrugs and says, “I have nothing to hide. Now we asked first. What happened last night?”

Dean opens the door, leans against the doorjamb, and crosses his arms across his chest.  A sly smile crosses his face, “What happened is exactly what it looks like.”

“You two had sex?” Charlie chokes out the question.

“Not so much,” Dean replies. Charlie’s look of confusion makes Dean laugh. “No penetration was involved.” He explains further.

Castiel puts his face in his hands and groans.  “No need to be shy about it, Cas,” Dean says through a huff of laughter.

Castiel looks up at him and growls. “I’m not shy. I just don’t exactly want to have this conversation.”

Dean smiles at him and turns back to the girls. “We’re going to get breakfast, you two in?”

The girls nod their answer, and Castiel sits down to put his shoes on.  When they were all ready, they walk out to where Dean’s car is parked.  The girls slide in, and before Castiel can open the door, Dean leans in and whispers, “I’m not wearing boxers.”

Castiel’s breathing hitches as memories of last night come rushing back. “You’re an asshole," he growls in a whisper. Dean chuckles, rounds the other side of the car, and slides in.  Castiel does the same and Dean leans over and gives him a soft kiss. Castiel can feel his jeans getting tighter. Yup, it is going to be a long day, a long frustrating day.  But he can’t stop the smile that forms on his face as Dean starts the engine, looks over at him, and winks.

[David Guetta - Titanium - Chapter Title Inspiration](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLuZl-0Pjuo)0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	9. Tears In Heaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters. (duh) :)  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> Warning possible slurs in different chapters.

Castiel sits down on the bleachers with Zara and Charlie to watch the start of the football game. Zara keeps shooting him side glances, which are starting to annoy him.

“So,” Zara starts, dragging out the last syllable. “When are you going to tell us what happened last night?”

Castiel looks from the field to his friend’s face. “Short of never.” He replies with a wry smile.

Zara arches an eyebrow, lifts her right hand, and pokes him in the chest. “Oh, you’ll talk, eventually. You mark my words.”

“Why are you being so tight-lipped about it,” Charlie asks, looking over at Castiel from the other side of Zara.

He looks at both girls and tilts his head, “I never kiss and tell. You both know that. Why is this a big deal?”

“It’s Dean Winchester!” They reply in unison.

“Say it a little louder, I don’t think they heard you in Japan,” Castiel deadpans, narrowing his eyes at them. “You know, he may not want other people knowing. Have either of you thought about that?” 

Zara opens her mouth to speak, but thankfully is cut by the announcer calling out the teams that were taking the field. The guy calls the school name and the position they play, along with their jersey number.  _“…Entering the field for the Lawrence High School Lions, number twenty-five, quarterback, Dean Winchester.”_

Castiel hit his feet and cheers louder than the rest of the crowd. Zara smiles and shakes her head. “Yeah, that was real subtle there, Cassie.” He doesn’t spare her a glance, his eyes on Dean. Castiel had watched a few of the school’s games before, but this was somehow different. He watches the game with more intensity. His eyes track every move Dean makes. Anytime he gets knocked on his ass, Castiel winces like he can feel the other boy’s pain. Every time their team scores a touchdown, all three of them dance around.

The lions win the first game, and the Lawrence cheerleaders hit the field in their red and black uniforms. They perform one of their usual cheer routines while the players rest. KU’s band joins in and entertains the crowd with music.

The lions won the following four games, and they are about to start their final match. A girl sits down next to Castiel and starts talking to him. He is polite and makes small talk while the girl twirls her long, dark hair. Every once in a while, she leans in way too close, or while talking, her hand would touch his arm. Castiel apparently doesn’t catch on that the girl is clearly hitting on him.

Zara finally speaks up, “I’m sorry,  _honey_ ,” she says the word with sarcasm. “You’re barking up the wrong tree.”

The girl, Daphne, gives Zara a look that borders between irritation and disappointment. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were his girlfriend,” She replies, tossing her dark curls over her shoulder.

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m not his girlfriend.” She huffs a laugh. “Hate to break it to you, but he bats for the other team,” Zara says, a smile tugging at her lips.

Daphne glances back at Castiel, who just nods his confirmation. “Hmm, pity,” She says as she stands up and walks off in the direction she came from.

“That girl was totally hitting on you, Castiel. She was three seconds from shoving her tongue down your throat.” Charlie says.

Castiel gives her a ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ look. “Bullshit, you’re exaggerating.”

“And you’re a numb nut, Cassie,” Zara says, throwing her arm around his shoulder. He smiles and leans into her embrace. Castiel honestly couldn’t imagine his life without Zara. Hell, without either of the girls.

The sun starts to set, and thankfully Castiel and the girls had gone back to the room to grab their jackets during one of the breaks. Castiel pulls his trench coat tighter around himself, and settles back in to watch the game. Each player from both teams, helmets in hand, run down the sidelines in front of the bleachers on each side to get the crowd pumped up. As Dean passes them, he looks at Castiel and winks with a bright smile. Castiel’s heartbeat speeds up, pounding against his chest. He can’t help but return Dean’s smile, and nods his head at him. 

The Lawrence Lions win the final game and the crowd cheers as the cheerleaders and, ‘Chesty Lion’, their mascot, dance around on the field. Their band also goes out and begins playing their fight song.

“So are we going back home tonight?” Zara asks as they walk onto the field, joining their other classmates to congratulate the team.

“I have the room for another night, but I’m not sure what I want to do yet,” he replies, but his attention clearly isn’t on his friend. Zara tugs on Castiel’s arm, pulling him off to the side. She looks around to make sure no one can overhear them.

She tilts her head to the side, much like Castiel does, and feigns an innocent look. “So I have to know… I’m dying to know actually. So you don’t have to be super specific or anything, Cassie, but is he hung more like a hot dog or cucumber?”

If there was a time Castiel wished a hole would open up and swallow him, it would be this exact moment. His mouth drops open and a blush creeps across his face. He  _never_  blushes, but damned if he wasn’t now. His hands come up and cover his face, and he is left as a stuttering mess. Zara and Charlie both find this hilarious from the sound of their laughter. He takes his hands away from his face and turns on his heel, walking away from his two friends. Castiel makes it as far as the edge of the field behind a tree. He stands with his back up against it and breathes deep, calming breaths.

* * *

 

Zara watches Castiel walk away and shakes her head. She tries to remember a time when she has seen her friend blush, but she draws a blank. Neither she nor Charlie followed him. Instead, they join in the fun of dancing around the field with the cheerleaders.

The football team walks back out onto the field after showering and changing back into their street clothes. The crowd of students that had made the drive cheers at the top of their lungs. Dean scans the sea of people, searching for those blue eyes that stole his heart.  _Stole his heart? No, it couldn’t be._  Could it? He shakes off the thoughts and finds Charlie in the crowd. He walks up to her and wraps her in a huge bear hug, spinning her around.

Charlie congratulates him on the win when Dean puts her back on her feet. He looks at both girls and asks, “Where’s Cas?” A look exchanges between the girls and they shrug their shoulders. Charlie points to where Castiel stomped off to, and tells Dean to give him a few minutes. Dean nods his head and then looks down at Charlie’s neck. “So… mind explaining that hickey?”

Charlie looks flustered and Zara laughs, “I gave it to her last night.” She says in a matter of fact manner. Dean shakes his head.

“I didn’t know you were bi, Z,” He says and huffs a laugh.

Zara smiles, “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Dean.”

“Touché,” He manages to get out before he feels an extra weight on his back, throwing him off balance. Thankfully, he regains his footing and doesn’t fall on his face. “Garth, you crazy fuck… get off me.” Garth drops back to the ground and takes off his mascot head.

“You coming back with us to Lawrence?” Garth asks. “Big party at Ty’s tonight to celebrate our victory.”

Dean runs a hand through his hair and looks over the field at his team. “Nah man, I’m good.” Garth gives him a look of confusion because Dean _never_  turns down a party, but he apparently lets it go, fist bumps Dean, and then walks off.

Dean turns around to find Castiel, and says over his shoulder, “I’m starving. Let’s find my boy and then eat.”

“Your boy,” Charlie asks when she catches up with him.

“Yeah, you know, Cas,” He answers still keeping his pace.

“So are you two like a thing now?”

Dean stops and turns around to the short redhead. “I don’t know, Charlie.”

* * *

 

They eventually find Castiel and the four of them hit up a drive thru. Back in the motel room, they sit watching a Star Wars DVD that Zara brought when she heard they had a DVD player in the room. The girls are sitting on one of the beds, feeding each other french fries. Dean and Castiel are on the other, stuffing their faces with their burgers.

When the movie ends and all the trash is thrown away, they take turns in the bathroom, showering before bed. Once they were in bed and the lights off, Dean pulls Castiel close to him and kisses the back of his neck. His arm snakes around Castiel’s waist and threads their fingers together.  

The girls head back home early, around eleven the following morning. Dean throws their stuff in the backseat of his car while waiting on Castiel to check out. He slides in behind the wheel, and starts the engine to warm up since it’s late September and a cold front came through the night before. Dean glances back up in time to see Castiel come out of the office, his black trench coat flowing behind him as he walks. Once again he is struck by how beautiful Castiel is to him. He thinks back to any guy he has ever found mildly attractive, now that he can admit to himself there were quite a few, but they pale in comparison.

Castiel opens the door and slides in, as Dean leans over and kisses his cheek. He arches an eyebrow at Dean, “What was that for?”

Dean shakes his head and reverses out of the parking space. “I felt like kissing you.” With that, he pulls out of the motel parking lot and heads down the road toward Lawrence. Dean switches out the cassette and pops in a mixed tape, and soon they are listening to Journey as they fly down the highway. When they are twenty minutes outside of their town, he reaches over and takes Castiel’s hand, holding it the rest of the way.   

* * *

 

The next couple weeks seems to fly by with record speed. Dean and Castiel start spending even more time together, if that’s possible. On the weekends, if Dean’s mom has to work, he brings Sam to Castiel’s with him, which is fine with Castiel, they actually get along great. If Dean isn’t at Castiel’s, then they are texting each other.  

Thursday after school, Castiel pulls into his driveway. Dean is still at practice, and Zara is talking his ear off about the Halloween dance coming up at school. He doesn’t hear a word she is saying; he is too busy wondering why Gabriel’s candy apple red corvette is there. Castiel hops out and walks up to the house. He opens the door and walks in, the silence is deafening. Castiel walks through the living room and into the kitchen, finding Gabriel sitting at the table with a glass of Jameson in front of him. Zara walks up beside Castiel and shoots him a concerned look. It’s not the fact that Gabriel is drinking, but what he is drinking. Castiel has been around his brother enough to know that if the Jameson is out, something is really wrong, horribly wrong. He clears his throat to get his older brother’s attention. Gabriel looks up and him with bloodshot eyes, tear tracks streaking down his face.

“Cassie…Z-bear,” is all he manages to get out, and then the tears start falling again. Gabriel clears his throat and points to the chairs. Zara takes a seat, but Castiel refuses. Nothing good ever comes from Gabriel basically asking him to sit down.

“Gabe, what’s going on,” Castiel asks, walking closer to stand by his brother.

“Uh… it’s mom…and dad,” he starts and then pauses. Gabriel takes a drink and Castiel can see his brother’s hand shaking. “Um, they were… they were in Florida and uh… shit.” Castiel sinks to his knees by his brother. “They were driving to… back to their hotel and… and a semi tried to stop but jackknifed...” Castiel shakes his head, not wanting his brother to finish. He doesn’t need Gabriel to tell him. He already knows what is going to be said. Gabriel puts his hand on his little brother’s shoulder. “Cassie, they didn’t make it.”

Castiel feels his mind shut down. He doesn’t want to process this. It can’t be true; his parents are fine. They're enjoying their vacation. Right? As much as he wants to convince himself of that story, he can feel his heart breaking. Yes, his parents were hardly around, but they were his parents. He  _loves_ them regardless. They tried their best; really they did. Even though his birth was a surprise, they  _loved_  him, he never hurt for anything. Anything he needed or even wanted, he got without question. Michael, being the oldest son, would chastise his parents, telling them they were spoiling Castiel. In truth, Castiel was the perfect child. He did anything they asked of him, never complaining when they made him study harder than any other child his age. Somewhere deep in his mind, he has memories of his mother holding him at night if he had a nightmare.  

Castiel hears Zara sobbing and he wants to comfort her. He knows she loves his parents just as much as he does. There were countless times his parents included her in family events. He tries to push himself to his feet, but he can’t move; he is frozen in place. Gabriel is still talking; something about his siblings will be arriving tomorrow morning. Hester is in the process of making the arrangements for getting his parents back home with a funeral home.

Castiel is vaguely aware of Zara moving next to him and grabbing his phone. He doesn’t stop her, he can’t. Zara sits next to him on the floor, and pulls him to where he is off his knees and sitting on his ass, and wraps her arms around him. He can feel the shaking of a body crying and realizes it’s him. Zara tries her best to soothe him; her hand rubbing circles on his back. He pulls his knees up and places his head on them.

He doesn’t know how long he stays there sitting like that. When he feels a hand on his shoulder, his body jumps and then he looks up to see Dean standing there. Dean pulls him to his feet and says something to both Zara and Gabriel. Then he takes Castiel’s hand and pulls him up the stairs to Castiel’s room. Dean leaves the room long enough to grab a wet washcloth, and then he is back by Castiel’s side, washing his face free of the tears. Once Dean is finished, he motions for Castiel to lay down, and then lays beside him. Castiel turns on his side and puts his head on Dean’s chest without thought. Dean runs his hand through Castiel’s hair, and presses a kiss to his forehead.

The tears start to fall again and Dean moves his arm from behind Castiel and starts rubbing his back, trying to calm him. “Shhh, Cas, I've got you,” he says; repeating it like a mantra. At some point, Castiel’s body relaxes and he falls into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

 

Castiel wakes up a few hours later, alone. He thinks maybe, just maybe, Dean hadn’t really been there. Maybe his mind conjured Dean to help him cope. He sits up in bed and looks around. It’s too quiet, and an unsettling feeling surrounds him. His chest aches with the loss of his parents; it’s an all too familiar feeling. Castiel’s life is filled with losing people in one way or another. His skin prickles, a mild warning that he is about to break down, or go into a full blown panic attack. He won't allow himself to do that. Not here, not right now. It doesn’t matter that he is in the safety of his own room. He quickly pulls himself out of bed and walks out of his room. When he nears the top of the stairs, he can hear two distinct, male voices drift through the house. He slowly descends the stairs and turns to walk into the kitchen. Gabriel is cooking, and Dean is sitting at the table talking to him. Castiel clears his throat, bringing the attention of both men to him. His brother motions with his head toward the table. 

“Hey, Cas,” Dean says with a smile.

Castiel tries to return his smile, but he’s obviously failing at it. Dean’s face softens, and he can’t handle that. He pushes past the kitchen and walks to the door of the garage. He grabs his keys off the hook and slips outside. The only thought in his head is to get away, far away, from this reality that is threatening to break him. He pushes the button to open the bay door. Castiel throws his leg over, sits down on the bike, and turns the key over. This time, he doesn’t put on his helmet. He is about to push off so he can escape when he feels body heat behind him, as extra weight is added to the bike. He knows who it is, and doesn’t turn around.

Strong arms wrap around his waist, grounding him, and he pushes off with his feet and takes off down the driveway. He lets the wind rips through his hair, burning his face as they fly over the road. It reminds him that he is, in fact, alive. He turns left and flies down a side road that leads out to a dirt path. It’s been a few years since he has been out here. Why he chose to come out here now is beyond him. Castiel slows down when the dirt kicks up behind the bike.

In the distance he can see the trees coming into view; his childhood hiding spot is tucked away in them, hidden from view. He pulls to a stop and wiggles out of Dean’s arms. With his foot, he pushes the kickstand out and gets off the bike. Castiel walks to the tree line, not bothering to look back.

“Where are we?” Dean asks but Castiel doesn’t answer. Instead, he takes off in a sprint through the trees. The map in his head unfolds as his feet trample over twigs, hearing them snap in his wake. He jumps with ease over fallen tree limbs, and heads to the right. Castiel can hear Dean running after him, so he steps up his pace. The tightness in his chest loosens as every step brings him closer to the safe haven from his youth. A smile forms as he lays eyes on the creek up ahead. The narrow wooden bridge is still intact. Dean’s voice rings out through the silence, calling his name. His footsteps don’t falter as he tromps over the wood; creaking with his heavy footsteps. A thrill shoots through him and he lets himself fall back into childhood innocence. “Polo,” Castiel calls out.

Dean watches Castiel disappear in the thickness of the trees.  _“Son of a bitch.”_ He runs after the blue-eyed boy, barely keeping Castiel in his sight. Castiel may run track, and is undoubtedly faster than he is, but two can play at this game. Dean understands Castiel is trying to run from the heavy reality waiting for him back at home. He would give anything to make Castiel smile right now, so he chases after him, watching the trench coat billow behind Castiel’s body. Dean leaps over a fallen tree limb and almost doesn’t make it. When he looks up, he can’t see Castiel any longer. He shouts Castiel’s name as he comes to a stop, straining his ears to hear footsteps echoing through the woods.

He hears a twig snap to his left, and almost considers running in that direction when he hears a faint, “ _Polo_ ,” coming from his right. Dean takes off, chasing after Castiel’s voice. When he comes to a creek and still can’t see the other boy, he yells, “Marco.” Castiel’s voice rings out his reply of “ _Polo_ ” straight head and to the left. Dean runs across the wood planks crossing the creek. Up ahead he can see the dark hair and trench coat of Castiel. Dean slows his steps, trying to creep up behind him now.

Castiel stops in front of a lake, looking over the tranquil water that acts like a mirror, reflecting everything surrounding it. His skin prickles with the awareness that he is being watched. A smile plays across his face, knowing that Dean has found him. He pulls at his coat, shrugging it off. It’s cooler under the canopy of treetops, but he doesn’t care as he kicks off his shoes, and pulls his shirt over his head. Castiel toes off his socks as his fingers fumble with the button of his jeans. It snaps free and he tugs the zipper down, and then pushes the offending material off his hips, letting it pool at his feet. He steps free and takes off running on the dock in just his boxers. At the edge, he jumps up, leaping through the air, and dives into the water below. His body slides almost effortlessly through the chilly lake. His arms and legs push through, taking him several feet from the bank. His lungs begin to ache, so he pushes up to break the surface and takes a large gulp of air. 

Dean is standing at the edge of the dock looking down at him. “What the hell are you doing?”

Castiel tilts his head and narrows his eyes, “I believe it’s called swimming, Dean.”

“Oh, so intelligent you are. I obviously can see you're swimming, smartass.” Dean says as he runs a hand through his hair. “But why are you?”

Castiel swims a little closer, “Because I want to, therefore I am. Join me?”

Dean shakes his head, “That’s not happening, Cas.”

“Are you telling me, big bad quarterback, Dean Winchester, is afraid of jumping into a cold lake?” Castiel reaches out for the dock. “It’s not  _that_ cold…”

“I’m not jumping in, Cas.”

Castiel pushes back, “Fine… do what you want… pussy.”

He swims out further and is about to go underwater when he hears a splash behind him. Castiel turns around in the water and scans the dock for any sign of Dean. The dock is empty and so is the bank. He is about to swim to back when two hands grab his waist underwater. Castiel yelps in surprise. He has enough time to inhale and close his mouth before he is underwater. Dean’s lips meet his, and they break the surface again.

Castiel tries to kick away, but Dean quickly wraps his arm around Castiel’s waist and pulls him closer. Their bodies are flush against each other as Dean leans his head in, his warm breath brushing against Castiel’s ear. “What were you saying about me being a pussy?” Dean doesn’t give Castiel a chance to answer as their lips meet in a dragging kiss. Dean playfully bites on Castiel’s lower lip and sucks on it. The kiss is broken as Castiel pulls back just enough to trail kisses across Dean’s jawline. His lips work their way across the green-eyed boy’s skin to his ear, and he nibbles on the lobe. His lips drop just under the flesh of Dean’s ear, and press an open mouth kiss there before trailing his tongue down the wet skin. Dean moans and bares his neck as Castiel works his way down. Castiel pulls back and stares into the deep meadow of green eyes in front of him.  

Castiel brings his forehead to meet Dean’s, “Would you… uh…”

Dean wraps his arms tighter around Castiel, “What, Cas?”

“Would you stay with me tonight?” Castiel asks, his voice just above a whisper. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“Of course, Cas, I’d do anything for you.”    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	10. Wonderwall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> Warning possible slurs in different chapters.  
> Enjoy the chapter

Castiel wakes up early Friday morning in Dean’s arms. Several voices drift through the house.  _“Fucking perfect, my siblings are already here,”_  Castiel thinks to himself. For thirty minutes, he lays in bed wrapped up in Dean, watching a thunderstorm raging out his window. It seems to fit the day perfectly. He knows once he walks downstairs, it will be like walking into a shit storm. Hester, being the oldest sibling is much like their mother, and must be in control of everything, but she was a loving person nonetheless. Castiel isn’t worried about her so much. He's worried about Michael and Lucifer. Michael, being the oldest male, expected his orders to be followed to the letter with no staying from them. Lucifer, well, he was cold and calculating when someone crossed him. Castiel definitely didn’t want to introduce Dean to the older two Novak men, but he can't exactly avoid that now.

Dean shifts in the bed and pulls Castiel in closer, his breath warm on Castiel’s neck. “Morning,” he says, voice still gruff from sleep.

Castiel turns to face Dean and whispers, “Morning, Dean.”

A loud clap of thunder roars outside and the rain starts pouring harder. Dean opens his meadow green eyes, “Looks like practice is canceled this morning. It’s a good thing really, I wasn’t planning on going.”

Castiel sighs and runs his cerulean blue eyes over Dean’s face. “You need to get up for school. Come on sleepy head.”

Dean groans and wiggles down in the mattress, even closer to Castiel if that was possible. “I’d rather stay in bed with you.”

“As good of an idea as that is, I have to get up and face the music with my family,” Castiel says as he runs his fingers through Dean’s hair. “I’d rather you not have to deal with them.”

Lighting streaks across the sky outside and brings flashes of light inside the room.  Dean raises up on his elbow and looks at Castiel. “Cas, I’ve lost my dad and I know how it feels, in a way. You lost both of your parents in one day. You don’t need to be alone.

A deep-throated chuckle escapes Castiel. “I’m not alone, Dean. My sister and brothers are here.”

Shaking his head, Dean sighs, “I’m not leaving you alone with them. I won’t change my mind.”

“Dean,” Castiel says, but Dean’s lips on his cuts him off. He places his hand on the back of Castiel’s head and deepens the kiss. Castiel lets out a low moan and then breaks the kiss. He brings his forehead to meet Dean’s, their warm breath mingling together in the dark room. “You’re stubborn, Dean, you know that?”

Dean huffs a laugh and pecks at Castiel’s lips again, “So it’s been said.” He moves and straddles Castiel, their boxers the only clothing between them. Dean leans down and captures Castiel’s lips with his own, kissing him slowly, playfully biting at his bottom lip. Castiel’s lips part and Dean skillfully dips his tongue inside, slowly dragging his tongue over Castiel’s. He pulls away slightly and trails his mouth along Castiel’s jaw line. Dean kisses up to Castiel’s ear, and his warm breath makes Castiel shiver. He smirks against Castiel’s skin, then moves his mouth moves down Castiel’s neck and nips along the soft skin.

“What are you doing?” Castiel asks, panting out the words. Dean grinds his hips down, causing Castiel to gasp.

Dean moves down Castiel’s body, runs his tongue over a nipple, then pulls back and blows his warm breath over it. “Tasting you,” he answers simply.

Castiel arches his back, “Dean, you don’t…”

With another swipe of his tongue against the other nipple, Dean says, “Shhh, Cas, I want to. I know what I’m doing. Well, I kinda know.” He runs his hands down Castiel’s sides slowly, noting each bump of the ribs underneath the soft skin that feels like satin beneath his hands. His nails drag lightly against them as he works his way down, kissing, licking, and tasting. Castiel writhes under him when he gets right above Castiel’s navel. He chuckles lightly against the other boy’s skin, and then with his tongue, he moves down and dips inside. He inhales Castiel’s scent and it’s like a drug, urging him on. His hands move down to Castiel’s boxers, and he rests them on each side. He mouths over the bulge in Castiel’s boxers. For a minute, he tenses because honestly, he doesn’t know what the fuck he is doing. What if Castiel doesn’t like it? But he continues, hoping that what he likes will be enough to take this beautiful blue-eyed boy apart and make him forget all the bad right now. 

Dean’s hands reach out of their own accord for the waistband of Castiel's underwear, pulling them down. Castiel lifts his hips, helping Dean remove the offending material. He relaxes back down on the bed and grabs the sheets as Dean ghosts his lips over his skin. Castiel is certain this is where he will die, in his bed with the gorgeous green-eyed boy. He won’t make it through this experience because no one has ever touched him this way. Castiel was always the one to give and never receive. When he feels Dean’s tongue licks near his cock, he chokes back a loud moan. He grabs a pillow and puts it over his face to drown out any noise he makes.

Dean huffs a small laugh when he looks up to see a pillow over Castiel’s face. He takes his right hand, licks it, and wraps it around Castiel’s cock. The feeling of Castiel in his hand is weird at first, considering he’s only ever touched his own, but he doesn’t let that stop him as he begins to stroke it slowly. The pillow manages to muffle most of Castiel’s moans, but Dean can still hear them. He gets comfortable between Castiel’s legs and moves forward just a bit, and then barely touches his tongue to the swollen head. Pre-come hits Dean’s taste buds, and even though it’s slightly bitter, he wants more. He moves his mouth to cover the head of Castiel’s cock and sucks gently, then swirls his tongue over it. The heavy feeling of Castiel’s cock in his mouth is odd at first, but not bad, definitely, something he could get used to. Castiel’s hips come up and Dean places his hand on one of them to hold him down. He pulls off and kisses Castiel’s thigh.

Castiel pants heavily through the pillow, “Dean, you’re literally killing me.”

A wicked laugh comes from Dean, “We can’t have that,” he says and then ghosts his lips back over to Castiel’s cock. Dean’s name falls like a prayer from Castiel’s lips as he licks the entire length, then takes Castiel in his mouth in one swift movement. Castiel arches his back off the bed making Dean half laugh, half groan with Castiel still inside his mouth. The vibrations send a shock through Castiel’s body, causing him to moan loudly in response. He bites down on the pillow in hopes that no one would hear.  

Castiel bites the pillow so hard his jaw hurts, but he doesn’t want this to stop. This feeling that is overtaking his body as Dean claims him with his mouth. Fuck, it’s amazing, and Castiel feels like he is floating. His hand finds its way to Dean’s hair, and a growl is ripped from the green-eyed boy when he accidently tugs a little too hard. Dean’s hand and mouth work in sync, and the other hand moves down to tug at Castiel’s balls.

Fuck, Castiel isn’t going to last much longer at this rate. The burning heat of desire is pooling in his stomach, and he feels it clench with the need to release. Dean picks up speed and Castiel tosses the pillow aside, there is no way it will keep him quiet any longer. He puts his hands over his mouth when his cock hits the back of Dean’s throat. He bites down on his hand, the pain and vibration from Dean’s moan has Castiel right at the edge. He tugs Dean’s hair a little harder in warning, but Dean doesn’t stop, just growls in response, taking Castiel deeper in his mouth. And that’s it. That’s all it takes to send Castiel plummeting over the edge into the beautiful darkness of orgasm. Dean swallows as much as he can because even though he’s never done this, the taste of Castiel is intoxicating. He pulls off Castiel and strokes him through the rest of his orgasm, milking the come from his body.

Dean crawls back up Castiel’s body, straddling him again with a pleased grin on his face. Castiel breathes hard trying to calm himself, but still manages to slip a hand inside Dean’s boxers. He wraps his right hand around Dean’s cock, and with his left hand, he pulls at Dean’s boxers.  Dean raises just enough to get them partially down. He sits back down and Castiel starts to stroke him, wanting to watch the gorgeous boy come for him. Castiel’s left hand now rests gently on Dean’s hips, and occasionally moves back to grab his ass, or up to pinch one of Dean’s nipples. Dean leans down and places his forehead against Castiel’s.

Both boys are panting as Castiel’s hand quickens; he twists his hand firmly, but not too firm to cause pain. Their eyes lock, and Castiel can see how dilated Dean’s pupils are, blown wide with lust. He doesn’t break eye contact as he moves his hand quickly and collects enough of his own come that spilled on his stomach earlier to lubricate his hand. He then wraps it around Dean again and continues his strokes. Dean chokes back a moan and bites his bottom lips so hard Castiel is afraid he might break the skin. Castiel wants to send Dean flying high on ecstasy, so in a deeper voice than he normally speaks with he says, “Come for me, Dean.”

He feels Dean’s body stiffen, and before he knows it, Dean is painting his chest with thick stripes of come. Dean collapses on Castiel and rests his head in the crook of Castiel’s neck. “Fuck,” he pants. “That was… fuck… that was awesome.”

Castiel huffs a laugh and says, “Yeah… it was,” then wiggles out from underneath Dean. He grabs his shirt off the floor where it landed the night before and cleans Dean off and them himself. He settles down beside Dean again after tossing the shirt across his room. Dean pulls him close and lays his arm over Castiel’s chest. His eyes slip closed for a few minutes and he enjoys listening to Dean breathe.

“Castiel, are you going to sleep the day away,” Hester’s voice asks from outside his door. Castiel glances over at the bedside clock. The display just clicked over to seven in the morning.

“Hessie, you’re being dramatic. It’s just now seven.” He hears his sister sigh, and already knows she is crossing her arms with her weight on her right leg. Even though his older siblings didn’t have much to do with him, he knew their mannerisms well. “I’ll see you downstairs in fifteen minutes. We have arrangements to go over.” Then he hears footsteps retreating back downstairs.

Dean kisses his shoulder and says, “Do you think they heard us?”

Castiel turns to face Dean and chuckles, “I don’t know, and I don’t fucking care. “You go back to sleep. I have to make an appearance before they send in a search party.” He rolls out of Dean’s arms and walks over to his dresser, grabs a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, and quickly dresses. Castiel walks back over the bed, leans in, presses a kiss to Dean’s forehead, and then walks out of his room.

* * *

 

Downstairs it’s a mad house of his unruly brother’s arguing over what he could only assume is pointless petty shit. Castiel sits at the kitchen table and Gabriel places a cup of coffee with cream in front of him. He nods his head at his older brother in a sign of thanks and blows on the hot beverage before taking a sip. Michael is sitting to Castiel’s right with Lucifer next to him. Hester is at the head of the table, going over numerous papers in front of her.

“When will their bodies get here?” Lucifer asks. Castiel almost chokes on his coffee.

“What a way to be a great big bag of dicks, Luci,” Gabriel says as he pushes eggs around in a skillet.  

Lucifer puts his elbows on the table and rests his chin on his hand. “It’s a perfectly normal question, Gabby.”

“A perfectly normal question coming from the spawn of Satan, Luc,” Castiel says before Gabriel could open his mouth.

“Thank you for the compliment, baby brother,” Lucifer says with a wry smile.

“Boys,” Hester admonishes.  “To answer your inappropriate question, Luc, they will be at the funeral home later today. We need to pick out caskets and a headstone for them.”

Castiel hangs his head. He doesn’t want to be a part of this conversation. He wants to be back upstairs with Dean, lost in his own world; but he knows if he tries to get up, Michael will jump on his case about it.

“Why don’t we just set them aflame and be done with it?” Lucifer asks, looking at their sister.

“Luc, shut your fucking mouth,” Castiel growls. “That’s our parents you’re talking about.”

“Watch your language, Castiel. I will not tolerate that from you,” Michael says as he looks between his brothers.

Castiel tries to bite his tongue, really, he does, but he’s tired and damn it, Michael has never been around so what gives him the damn right to talk to Castiel like that? “Michael, when you spend more than a couple days around me, then you can worry about what comes out of my mouth, and until then, shut your face. Let’s get this over with so I can go back upstairs and lay down with my boyfriend.” After the words slip from his mouth, Castiel immediately regrets them. Castiel isn’t even sure what is going on with him and Dean. Plus, Michael never approved of Castiel’s sexuality, and it's caused one too many fights. The rest of his siblings doesn't care what he does, or who he does it with.

Michael cocks his head to the side, “Boyfriend? Really Castiel? I thought you would have grown out of that phase by now.” He pushes back his chair from the table.

“Yeah, you heard him right,” Dean’s voice comes from behind him. He is standing so close that Castiel can feel the heat of his body. Dean’s hand comes to rest on his shoulder, and Castiel sits a little straighter in his chair. He can see the impending explosion in his brother’s eyes, but with Dean beside him, he could care fucking less.

Michael carefully looks Dean over then meets Castiel’s eyes again. “I wonder what Mom and Dad would think about him.”

Gabriel places the skillet of eggs in the middle of the table. “His name is Dean, learn it, Michael. And honestly, they wouldn’t give a fuck. Neither should you. They knew about Castiel long before you did.” Gabriel turns to Castiel, “Go on, get out of here. I’ll help Hester with preparations. The last thing you need to is to be around our asshole brothers.”

Castiel looks at his sister, who nods her confirmation to go. He stands up and turns to leave. Gabriel gives Dean a pat on the back, “Take care of my baby brother.”

Dean nods and gives the older Novak brother beside him a smile. “I always will.”

Gabriel shakes his head, “Oddly enough, I have no doubt about that.” Dean takes Castiel’s hand and leads him back upstairs where they change into jeans and a t-shirt, Castiel giving Dean a pair of boxers to wear. Dean put on the pair of jeans from the previous day and one of Castiel’s Metallica t-shirts. When their shoes and socks are on, Dean looks over at Castiel, who is sitting next to him.

“Boyfriend, huh?” he says and meets Castiel’s eyes. Dean can see fear and uncertainty in them. 

Castiel chews on his bottom lips, “I… uh… it just came out, Dean. I’m sorry.”

Dean stands up and pulls Castiel to his feet. He wraps his arms around Castiel’s waist, leans in, and kisses him senseless. When he breaks the kiss, he leans forward, right by Castiel’s ear, “Don’t ever apologize for saying I’m your boyfriend. I… I like it.”

Castiel pulls back to look in Dean’s eyes, “What did you say?”

Dean shrugs, his arms still around Castiel, “I said I like it, Cas. I like being yours.” Castiel tries to look away, but Dean doesn’t let him. “Cas, I’m serious about this. About whatever is going on with us.”

Castiel tilts his head. “Us? So is there… are we like, a couple?”

Dean huffs a laugh, “I would hope so; only if you want it too, of course.”

Castiel wraps his arms around Dean’s neck and brings his lips inches from Dean’s, “I’d like that,” he whispers against them. He closes the distance and slowly kisses Dean. His hands move up to Dean’s hair and tug gently. He breaks apart from Dean’s lips to whisper, “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more than that.”

Dean sighs a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “God, Cas, it’s so good to hear that.” Dean drops his hands and steps back, giving Castiel a lazy smile. “Where should we go?”

“I want to check on Zara, but I don’t know where she is. I should text her. I’m such an ass. She is hurting just as much as I am,” Castiel says as he picks up his phone.

Dean shakes his head. “One, you’re not an ass. She understands you are hurting. Two, she is the one that texted me and told me about your parents. Three, before we left yesterday, I called Charlie to pick her up so she wouldn’t be alone.”

Tilting his head to the side, Castiel asks, “Why would you do that for us?”

“Cas,” Dean starts and leans his head against Castiel’s forehead. “When are you going to learn that I care about you? I care about Z-Bear. You both are my family now. I take care of family. So get used to it, Castiel.”

Castiel huffs a laugh, “Z-Bear? Really, Dean, you call her Z-Bear?”

Dean shrugs and then grabs Castiel’s hand, pulling him to the door. “Yes, Cas, really. Now come on, let’s get out of here, Angel.”

[Oasis - Wonderwall - Chapter Title Inspiration](https://youtu.be/sYffFEIAzdE)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes there is smut in this. I was hesitant for two reasons. I'm still a novice at writing smut so there is always a thought in my mind that it isn't good enough. Second, I had to remember these are two teenaged boys so Dean would definitely want to take Castiel's mind off everything. And what better way to do it in the mind of a teenager than with sex?  
> I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it. Thoughts?
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	11. For You I'll Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> Warning possible slurs in different chapters.  
> Enjoy the chapter

The funeral is small although Castiel’s family is quite large. Only immediate family is in attendance. Throughout the service, Castiel keeps his head down. He doesn’t want to make eye contact with anyone. If he does he will probably break, and right now that is the last thing he wants to do. Castiel doesn’t sit in the chairs next to his siblings. Instead, he is standing in between Dean and Zara. Charlie is on Zara’s right holding her hand. Dean is standing to Castiel's left with his arm around Castiel’s back holding onto his waist. Zara’s is standing on his right side holding his hand with her left one.

Castiel's eyes flick down to his best friend’s face. Silent tears drip from her lashes, trail down her cheeks and drop away from her face. He leans over and presses a kiss to the top of her head. Zara looks up at him and a small smile tugs at her lips. Castiel watches as his sister and brothers stand. They walk over and take a handful of dirt and toss it down inside the graves. He knows he has to do the same. While keeping a hold of Zara’s hand he walks in front of everyone. They bend down at the same time and using their free hands they take soil together they let it fall down over the coffins below. Castiel doesn’t miss Zara’s soft, “I’ll miss you,” even though it was said almost in a whisper.

With those words, something snaps in his chest and emotions that he tried to hold back come rushing forward; threatening to take him under and drown him in their depths. He drops Zara’s hand and walks off. Castiel can feel everyone’s eyes on him, but he doesn’t stop. As he gets close to the entrance of the cemetery he takes off running. He rounds the corner shedding off the jacket of his suit and loosens the tie throwing it to the ground. Two blocks over he rips open his white dress shirt takes it off and lets it fall to the ground as he runs. His white tank top hugs his body as the wind flows around him.

Castiel runs all the way back to his house and he fumbles with his keys to get inside. He takes the stairs up by two and slams his door behind him. He leans against the wall and slides down to the floor. His world is spinning and his skin his prickling. His lungs burn and he can’t catch his breath. He sucks in the air, needing oxygen, trying to get a hold of reality, but he can’t push the breath out. His breathing becomes ragged; sharp inhales and shallow exhales. Castiel squeezes his eyes shut.  He pulls his legs up and leans his head against his knees. Castiel’s hands go to his head and he pulls hard at his hair. He wants to feel pain because right now he is numb.

**_“And so we meet again Castiel. Will you believe me now? I told you that you would always be alone. Now with your parents gone who will be there for you? Come on Castiel it’s easy… follow me to the darkness.”_ **

Castiel is vaguely aware that he is in his room although he doesn’t remember how he got there or how long he has been there. He just knows he can’t stop the tightness in his chest and he has the urge to get up and run. But he isn’t sure where he wants to run to. He just wants to get far away from this place. He can hear the loud pounding of his heart in his ears and it feels like it will burst at any minute.

A hand touches Castiel shoulder, but he doesn’t dare look up; afraid of what might be in front of him. “Cas.”

“Just make it stop… make it stop… Stop… make it stop… please.”

Dean touches Castiel’s face and Castiel looks up. He can see Dean’s lips moving but is not able to make out the words. He tries to focus, narrowing his eyes.

“Make what stop Cas?” Castiel finally hears Dean ask.

“Pain… I want to… feel pain… I just want… to feel…”

Wrapping his arms around Castiel, Dean pulls him in his arms. “Cas, Angel, you’re not making any sense.” He brushes his lips on Castiel’s forehead. He can feel Castiel shaking now and all Dean wants to do is _help_ him. But he doesn’t know _how_. Suddenly Castiel is in Dean’s lap, straddling him. “I need to feel,” Castiel says. Then he shifts his weight and pushes Dean’s back up against the door. Castiel leans forward and kisses Dean feverishly; his tongue licking into Dean’s mouth. Moving his hands to the hem of Dean’s shirt he yanks it over his boyfriend’s head. Castiel’s hands find their way to Dean's soft tanned skin trailing heat down his chest. Their lips part for a fraction of a second; the heat of their breath mingling. Castiel’s hand goes to Dean’s hair and he pulls him back into a lip bruising kiss. His hands are no longer gentle; his nails scratch Dean’s scalp and Dean’s moan is caught in Castiel’s mouth. Castiel pulls at Dean’s bottom lip with his teeth. He slides back in Dean’s lap; his hands unbutton and unzip Dean’s pants.

Dean’s mind is racing and as much as he is on board with this he wants to make sure Castiel is _okay_. The last thing Dean wants to do is just melt into whatever this will bring and Castiel regret it later. So he takes a deep breath to calm the surge of hormones that is swirling inside him. His hands cup Castiel’s face and he pulls him back gently. Castiel’s blue eyes focus on his green he pants out, “Cas, slow down for a minute.”

Castiel slides all the way off his lap and hanging his head, “You don’t want this?”

“That’s not what I said. I want this, believe me, I do. But I want to make sure you know what you’re doing,” Dean says.

“I’m not a child. I know exactly what I was doing,” Castiel says with an edge to his voice. “I think I know what is really going on here. It's finally hit you what you’re doing with me. So if you want an out here it is.”

Dean shakes his head. “What the _fuck_ are you talking about Cas? I don’t want an out. I want to make sure you’re _okay_.”

Castiel pushes to his feet his body still shaking and his muscles feel like jelly. He walks over to his window and looks out. “Just leave Dean. It’s better this happens now.”

Dean gets up and buttoning his pants he walks over to Castiel. He wraps his arms around the boy’s waist and rests his chin on Castiel’s shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere. I just want to know what happened.” He kisses the soft skin of Castiel’s neck, “I’ve never seen you like that. I want to know how to help you.”

Castiel sighs, “It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen.” His eyes flick down to watch as his siblings pull up in the driveway. “It’s a panic attack. I never know when they are going to hit or what will trigger one.” He turns in Dean’s arms to face him. “That was a mild one. Sometimes it’s not so easy to pull me out. They can exhaust me afterward.”

Dean nods and kisses Castiel’s forehead. “Then you need to rest,” he says against Castiel’s skin.

Pulling back Castiel shakes his head, “No, I need to forget.” He leans forward and brushes their lips together.

“Okay. How can I help you with that Cas?”

Castiel steps out of Dean’s arms and walks over to his door locking it. He picks up the remote to his stereo; presses the button power button and then turns up the music. He takes off his tank top and tosses it on the floor then walks back over to Dean. “Help me to forget like this.” Castiel’s hand reaches behind Dean’s head and pulls him into a slow, heated kiss. He starts walking Dean backward and when the back of Dean’s knees hit the bed they both fall onto it; lips and tongue still searching each other’s mouth. Dean’s hands trail down Castiel’s back. Dean grabs his ass pulling Castiel down against him.    

Castiel groans with the friction against his erection still trapped in his pants. He grinds down against Dean; feeling the evidence of his arousal. Castiel wants nothing between them; needs to feel Dean’s skin on his. He sits back on his heels and his hands start to unbutton Dean’s pants again. His eyes flick up to Dean’s; asking permission before he continues. When he sees Dean nod he pops the button free and moves so he can slide them off. Dean’s boxers are the next thing to go and then Castiel gets off the bed and removes his own. Reaching in his bedside table he grabs the lube, a condom and places them on the table.

Dean eyes the condom and it hits him exactly what Castiel has planned. His green eyes flick to Castiel’s blue.

“We don’t have to have sex, Dean… It’s there just in case.”

He crawls back up Dean’s body and places a kiss to his lips then works his way down Dean’s jaw. Castiel feels the stubble against his lips and it sends a jolt through his body. Dean moves flipping Castiel on his back and takes control. He now realizes what Castiel meant when he said he wanted to feel pain. He wants to take Castiel out of his mind, that way the only thing Castiel can think of is his body on Castiel's. Dean reaches over and grabs the lube, places it on the bed beside them and then lowers his body on Castiel’s.

Dean kisses Castiel slowly and grinds down; their cocks lining up perfectly together between them. It feels amazing and as much as he wants to take it to the next level; he's nervous because he has never done this with a guy. But he wants to try. He trails his lips to Castiel’s neck and bites down; not hard enough to break the skin but enough to bring pleasure from the pain.

There is a pounding on Castiel’s door and both boys damn near jump up from the sound. “Castiel… Castiel you need to come downstairs right now. Explain why you took off like that.” It was Hester’s voice drifting through from the other side.

Dean and Castiel grab their clothes and start dressing as fast as they can. Castiel throws Dean one of his t-shirts and he pulls his tank top back over his head. With shirts and pants back on they grab their shoes and head for the window. Dean slips out first and climbs down the tree that is beside Castiel’s window. Castiel follows behind them and they run toward Dean’s Impala.

* * *

Dean drives around town aimlessly they both laugh at having to crawl out of Castiel’s window. Castiel didn’t know how much he needed to laugh. Relief fills his body that they were, in fact, stopped. Who knows what would have happened if they continued. It’s not that Castiel didn’t want to take it to the next step. He just didn’t know how Dean would react after since Dean has only been with girls. That is a bridge they could cross later. Zara calls Castiel and they head to go meet up with the girls. When they pull up in front of Charlie’s house the two redheads are standing on the lawn talking to each other. Castiel gets out of the car and walks up to Zara. He wraps his arms around her and pulls her off her feet in a hug.

He puts her back down and Charlie informs them that there is a party going on out at the lake. Normally Castiel wouldn’t be tempted to go but he needs to get away from everything. Plus he knows Zara is going and doesn’t want her doing anything stupid. So the four of them pile in Dean’s Impala and head out to the party. When they get there and park Castiel notices several students from their school. He doesn’t know how Dean will treat him around his friends. His hand freezes when he touches the door handle. Zara and Charlie are already out of the car standing in front of it and Dean is standing with them. He can barely hear them talking and he closes his eyes. This is a bad idea. But before he can get lost in bad memories of Zeke he feels the door open. His eyes open and Dean is standing there with his hand out. “Come on Cas.”

“Dean you don’t have to-“

Dean doesn’t let him finish what he was going to say. He grabs Castiel’s hand and pulls him gently out of the car and shuts the door behind him. He brushes his lips against Castiel’s, “I know, but I want to.” With Castiel’s hand still in his, Dean walks through the crowd of teens standing around. Some of them are drinking and a few look like they are already drunk out of their minds. Dean leads Castiel to a cooler packed full of beer and surprisingly soda he reaches in to grab two cokes. He hands one to Castiel and they find a fallen tree trunk lying near the water. They walk over and sit down watching the other people dance and make asses of themselves. Castiel's eyes find Zara and Charlie in the crowd dancing along with beers in the hands. He shakes his head and smiles. Even though everything was a shit storm in his life at least he could stop and enjoy watching his best friends let loose and have a good time. He knows Zara is grieving right along with him, but she isn’t letting it show. She is a trooper and Castiel loves her for that.

The sun starts to dip down in the sky and Dean tells Castiel he is going to find somewhere to take a piss and then get something else to drink. He kisses Castiel on the cheek and then walks off. Castiel looks out over the water and sighs.

“Look who we have here,” Victor says standing near the Castiel.

Castiel’s body stiffens because damn it right now he doesn’t want to deal with any bullshit, and that is all that he gets when Victor is around. “What do you want Henricksen?”

“I want to know what you’re doing with Winchester,” he says. Castiel can smell the beer on his breath.

He stands up and tilts his head to the side, “I believe it’s called dating, Victor. Why do you care?”

“Dating? You? Dating Dean Winchester? Now that’s hilarious. Why the hell are you with him? He’s never been with a guy before he wouldn’t know how to treat you right.”

Castiel huffs a laugh, “Oh and you do?”

Victor nods; steps closer to Castiel and brushes the back of his knuckles against Castiel's cheek . “Leave him and I’ll make your body feel so good. I’ll show you how being with a real man feels.”

"Dean is twice the man you will ever be Victor.” He slaps Victor's hand away and steps back a little. “The closest you will ever get to sex with me; is if you smell my scent on Dean when he passes you the ball."

The crowd of people who surrounds them starts laughing. Dean is walking back from getting sodas and has no idea what is going on. He hears Victor say, “You little punk!” Dean’s eyes meet Victor’s and then he sees Victor run toward him. The impact of Victor’s fist knocks the soda out of his hand and sends Dean flying back. Dean feels his head crack against a big rock and his vision starts going dark. He flicks his eyes around and sees Castiel clear the space in a heartbeat and watches Castiel grab Victor by the shirt. Then Dean’s world goes black.

Castiel slams Victor on the ground and straddles him. He feels the adrenaline rush through his veins and he shakes from it. Spit flies from his mouth as he yells, “You worthless son of a bitch! That was the lowest cheap shot. That doesn’t prove you’re a man. That proves you’re a fucking coward.” With every word, he spews Castiel alternates between punching Victor in the face and slamming him hard on the ground. His vision is red and all he wants to do is tear Victor apart limb by limb. He hears Zara scream out and that is what finally pulls him back to reality.

Castiel turns his head and he sees Dean’s head in Zara’s lap. Charlie is beside them brushing Dean’s hair back from his forehead.

“He’s out Cassie. He’s not waking up!” Zara says with fear in her voice.

Castiel turns cold dark stormy blue eyes back on Victor who was still on the ground. “You better pray to Jesus he’s okay. Or I will beat you till your own mother doesn’t recognize you.” Castiel stands up and steps away from Victor. He hurries to Dean’s side and switches places with Zara.

“Charlie, grab my cell out of the car and call an ambulance. I would suggest anyone who has been drinking to clear out before they show up,” Castiel says while cradling Dean’s head. 

Everything flies by in a blur. Castiel sees Zara and Charlie sit on Victor’s chest so he can’t move. The crowd of teens thins out and the few remain now are sober and didn’t have anything to drink. The cooler of beer is gone. Castiel flicks his eyes up when he hears the wail of sirens. He knows he will have to give a statement on what happened, but all he cares about right now is Dean. He places his hand on Dean’s chest just to make sure he is still breathing and he whispers,

“Dean please be okay. I can’t lose you too.” He closes his eyes and says a silent prayer; even though he can’t remember the last time he prayed.

When the ambulance pulls to a stop paramedics and EMTs rush out; Castiel moves to the side to give them room. A couple cops take witness statements and walk over to Castiel. They ask him a few questions and Castiel explains to them what happened. The officers inform Castiel that Victor didn’t want to press charges so he was free to go. He walks over to the ambulance where they are loading Dean inside. Charlie tells Castiel she found Dean’s keys on the ground and she is going to drive his car home. Both the girls hug him before they take off. Castiel turns his attention back to what is happening inside the ambulance. A paramedic is about to get inside but stops and looks at Castiel.

“Who are you,” the guy asks.

Castiel clears his throat trying to bite back the tears, “I’m Castiel, Dean’s boyfriend. Can I go with him to the hospital?”

The guy smiles and looks around, “Sure kid, hop in.”

[I'll Fight - Daughtry- Destiel Fanvideo - Chapter Title Inspiration ](https://youtu.be/Y4FvxsweH9U)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	12. Under The Bridge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> Warning possible slurs in different chapters.  
> Enjoy the chapter
> 
> Special thank you to MoniJune for being my beta!

The light in the waiting room is too harsh against Castiel’s bloodshot eyes. His nose burns from the smell of industrial cleaners the hospital uses. He looks up at the clock; only an hour and a half has passed since they brought Dean in. Castiel’s stomach churns with worry and regret. If he had just kept his mouth shut this wouldn’t have happened. Dean wouldn’t have been knocked unconscious and lying in a hospital bed. He will never forgive himself; never forgive Victor. Castiel doesn’t even know if Dean can forgive him. Or if he even wants Dean too. He doesn’t deserve Dean’s forgiveness. He shifts in the hard chair trying to get comfortable which is a lost cause. Pushing himself out of the chair, he starts pacing the white tiled floor. It’s sixty steps to the other side of the room. He looks down and starts stepping carefully to avoid the ‘cracks’ in the floor.  _“Step on a crack… you’ll break your mother’s back.”_ Yes, he has officially lost it but right now he doesn’t care. The only thing, the only person he cares about, is lying in a bed somewhere all because of him. Castiel can’t help Dean and that makes him feel worthless.

The double doors swing open and Castiel holds his breath. A beautiful lady with blonde hair makes her way toward him. She smiles and places her hand on his arm, “You must be Castiel. I’m Mary, Dean’s mom.” Castiel looks at her eyes, so bright and warm, but he can tell she was crying not even minutes before coming out to find him. Another wave of guilt hits him.

Castiel is frozen in place. He doesn’t know what to say. Why is she smiling at him? Why is she not mad at him? Why is she not demanding that he leave? “Is he okay,” he chokes out finally.

Mary gives him another smile and nods, “Yes he is. Come on I’ll take you to him. He’s been asking for you.”

Charlie and Zara stand up from where they are sitting. Each girl gives him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. He tells them to go home and get some rest. He will text them as soon as he knows more. They both nod and then intertwine their fingers and walk out of the waiting room.

“Castiel, are you ready?” Mary asks. He nods in the affirmative. She turns around and starts walking back in the direction she came from. Castiel falls in step behind her. She is wearing blue scrubs and Castiel recalls that Dean told him that his mother works at this very hospital. She must have been on duty when the ambulance brought him in. Eighty steps to the nurses’ station behind the doors. Twenty steps down another hall to the second door on the right. Mary pushes the door open and steps inside. Castiel hesitates outside because as much as he _wants_ to see Dean, he doesn’t. He’s afraid of what is on the other side of the door. Afraid that Dean may be hooked up to countless machines. But Mary said he was okay. She wouldn’t lie to him that much he is sure of.

He can hear Mary talking to Dean and wants nothing more than to turn around and leave. He can’t face Dean he just _can’t_. “Cas,” Dean's voice comes from inside the room. Dean’s voice is rough and sounds exhausted, but it comforts him like a warm blanket. Tentatively Castiel takes a step in the room. It’s darker inside than the rest of the hospital. He keeps his eyes on the floor; it’s different from the waiting room, hardwood. “Cas,” Dean says again, prompting Castiel to look up. Dean holds out his hand and Castiel walks to the side of the bed. He takes Dean’s hand in his and their fingers intertwine. Dean gives a little squeeze; the gesture makes Castiel meet those meadow green eyes. “Are you okay, Angel?” Dean asks.

Castiel tilts his head to the side because the last _thing_ Dean should be worried about is how _he is_. “I should ask you the same. You’re the one in the hospital, Dean.”  

Dean gives him a small smile and points to his head. It’s bandaged and has a few places where blood has seeped through. Tears form in Castiel’s eyes again. “Cas, I’m fine. I have the trademark Winchester hard head,” Dean jokes trying to lighten the mood.

Mary huffs a laugh standing on the other side of the bed. “That’s the truth. Hardheaded just like your daddy was,” she says, smiling down at her son. She looks up at Castiel. “The doctor wants to keep him overnight for monitoring. He has a concussion, which is understandable with how hard he hit his head. They did a CAT scan and an MRI. They came back with good results. No swelling was seen or other damage.” Mary steps around the bed to join Castiel. “Thank you for calling the ambulance and getting him here.”

“But, _I’m_ the reason he is here,” Castiel says and the tears finally break free sliding down his face. Mary steps closer to him and brushes the hair away from his forehead, then drops her hand down and cups his face, “Castiel this was not your fault. Don’t blame yourself. We certainly don’t.” Mary leans forward and gives him a kiss on the cheek then looks at her son. “I have to pick up Sam from Ellen’s.” She leans down and kisses Dean’s forehead. “Be on your best behavior for the nurses Dean Michael. I don’t want to hear you gave any of them trouble.” Mary turns around and walks to the door, stopping before she steps out, “Castiel if you want to stay the night with him I’ll let the charge nurse know.”

Dean looks up at Castiel and says, “Cas… please?”

Castiel smiles and nods his head, “Anything for you, Dean.”

Mary slips out the door, leaving the two of them alone. Dean pulls Castiel down to him and gives him a soft kiss.

A tear slips down Castiel’s face; Dean wipes it away with the pad of his thumb. He pulls back to look at Castiel. “What’s wrong, baby?” He asks in a soft voice.

Castiel looks away, so he doesn’t want to see Dean’s face when he asks, “How can you forgive me after what happened?”

He sighs, “Castiel, this is  _not_  your fault. Why are you so hell bent on blaming yourself?”

Castiel opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. There is no use in arguing. He knows what happened at the party.

“Cas, look at me,” Dean says after a few minutes. Castiel looks down at his boyfriend. He could see the exhaustion etched on Dean's face. “This isn’t going to change how I feel about you.” Dean moves over making room on the small bed and pats the empty spot he just made. “Will you lay with me for awhile?”

Toeing his shoes off Castiel gently lies on the bed. Dean pulls the blanket over them and in no time they are both asleep.

* * *

 

Groans and soft whimpers coming from Dean in the middle of the night wake Castiel up. A nurse walks into the room and softly tells him that it’s time for Dean’s pain medicine. She wakes Dean up and he takes the pills with a cup of water the nurse hands him. She quickly takes his blood pressure and makes sure the IV doesn’t need to be replaced. Then she walks out of the room, leaving them alone. Castiel turns on his side to face Dean. “I was so scared I lost you,” he whispers in the dark.

Dean sighs and kisses the tip of Castiel’s nose. “You’ll never lose me, Angel,” he says and then nuzzles up against his boyfriend’s chest.

Castiel pulls his iPod out of his pocket and puts one of the earbuds in his ear and the other in Dean’s. He selects a song and then runs his fingers through Dean’s hair as the song starts playing; humming along with it. He wants nothing more than to take Dean's pain away. 

 

**(I'm an angel with a shotgun, shotgun, shotgun,**

**An angel with a shotgun, shotgun, shotgun...)**

**Get out your guns, battles begun,**

**Are you a saint, or a sinner?**

**If loves a fight, then I shall die,**

**With my heart on a trigger.**

**They say before you start a war,**

**You better know what you're fighting for.**

**Well baby, you are all that I adore,**

**If love is what you need, a soldier, I will be.**

**I'm an angel with a shotgun,**

**Fighting till' the war’s won,**

**I don't care if heaven won't take me back.**

**I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe.**

**Don't you know you're everything I have?**

**And I, wanna live, not just survive, tonight.**

 

**[Angel With A Shotgun - The Cab](https://youtu.be/qvFpnM1gDQY) **

When the song ends Castiel kisses Dean on the forehead and takes the earbud out of his ear. Dean is already asleep again. Castiel smiles and closes his eyes and lets sleep take him under.

* * *

 

The next morning Dean is released from the hospital. Mary has a shift that night so Castiel tells her that Dean and Sam can stay the night at his house. His siblings are still there, but right now he has no fucks to give. Mary thanks him and says she will drop them off later and then they all pile into her car and head to the pharmacy to get Dean’s pain prescription filled. He rides with them back to his house. Once they get there he gives Dean a kiss, then waves bye to them before walking in his house. Michael and Lucifer are in the living room talking until they notice he is in the room. Gabriel walks in from the kitchen and smiles at Castiel. “Where ya been, baby bro?”

Castiel shrugs; not really wanting to get into the whole situation, but says, “With Dean.”

Michael sighs loudly from where he is sitting. Gabe turns around and glares at his older brother. “Not a word from you, douche bag.”

Lucifer snorts, which earns a glare from Michael and an elbow to the ribs. Gabriel looks at him, “You either, jackass.”

Lucifer puts his hands up in defense. “Hey, I’m not the one that has a problem with Cassie enjoying a dick in his ass. Who he fucks isn’t my business.”  

Castiel doesn’t know why, but the statement pulls a small smile from him. “So eloquently put Luci. What makes you think I’m a bottom? Maybe I’m the one slamming my dick in Dean’s ass.” He only says that to make Michael squirm and is pleased to see it has the desired effect on his brother. The younger Novak is about to ask where their sister is when she walks in the room from upstairs.

She nods at him, “Oh good Castiel you’re back just in time. Our parents' lawyer will be here in a few minutes. Why don’t you go upstairs and clean up.”

Normally he would argue with her, but he’s drained, so he walks upstairs and quickly showers. When he is dressed, he runs a comb through his hair. It doesn’t help, though. His dark locks still stick up like no one has ever tried to tame it.

Back downstairs Castiel sits on the couch and kicks up his feet by Gabriel. They make small talk until the doorbell rings and Hester answers it, ushering the lawyer inside.

* * *

After the lawyer left and the papers had been signed the Novak siblings sits around the kitchen table.“So we get fucking nothing?” Michael barks.

“Michael you get ten percent of the estate like myself, Lucifer, and Gabriel. Did you listen to a damn word that was said?” Hester sighs and folding her hands placing them together on the table.

“Why does Castiel get sixty percent,” he barks again.

Gabriel smirks, “Because he is the baby. Apparently, mom and dad wanted to make sure he is taken care of. Besides, he gets only gets fifty percent. Zara gets ten of that.”

“Who the fuck is Zara,” Michael asks frustration laced in his words.

“She’s none of your concern, Michael,” Castiel answers; his eyes narrowed at his brother. “If you were actually a brother you would know who she is.”

“Gabriel you’re named as the trustee of Castiel’s inheritance. He is to receive a quarterly allowance until the age of twenty-one. At that time the full amount will be released to him,” Hester says. “Castiel you also inherit the house along with the rest of mom’s inheritance from her trust fund.”

Castiel nods. He doesn’t know what to say. It’s too surreal to wrap his head around. Hester stands up from the table, “I’m leaving to get back to the kids in the morning. Castiel you- uh, take care of yourself, okay?”

The younger Novak tilts his head to the side. Hester has never said anything like that to him as long as he could remember. But he knows she is _trying_ and it makes him smile. She walks around the table to him and gives him an awkward hug. “I should have been around for you more.” She hangs her head, “I-I’m sorry.” With that, his sister pulls back, turns around and makes her way back upstairs.

“Well, we are taking off tonight,” Lucifer says and motions for Michael to follow him. As Lucifer walks by Castiel he pats him on the shoulder. The oldest Novak brother stops in front of Castiel, “You know, you could get help for your condition.”

Castiel’s mouth drops open. He fights the urge to swing at his brother but decides to say fuck it and throws a punch. His fist connects with Michael’s face and he can hear the bones break in his brother’s nose. _Damn_ that feels _good_. Finally giving his older brother what the motherfucker deserves. Castiel stands above his brother and spits on him. “Michael, you can suck my dick.” He walks off and then turns back around, “And stay the fuck out of my life.”

* * *

An hour later Castiel is on the couch. The TV is on, but he isn’t paying attention. His mind is racing with the day’s events and all he wants to do is sit with his boyfriend and forget about life for awhile. There is a knock on the door and Gabriel stands up to answer it. He tells Sam and Dean to come inside and Castiel stands up when he sees them. Castiel tells Gabriel goodnight and takes the Winchester brothers upstairs. He shows Sam his room for the night and then takes Dean’s hand and walks into his bedroom. When the door closes both boys strip down to their boxers and get in bed. Dean snuggles up against his boyfriend, his arm wrapping around and pulling Castiel closer. He brushes their lips together and sighs. “I missed you Cas,” Dean says as he lays his forehead against Castiel’s.

Castiel huffs a laugh and kisses Dean, slowly licking into his mouth when Dean parts his lips. After a few minutes, he breaks the kiss. So neither one of them are tempted to take it any further. The last thing Dean needs to do is anything strenuous. But  _damn_  he has missed the way his boyfriend tastes. “We were only apart for a few hours, Dean,” he says, brushing the hair off Deans’ forehead.

Dean hums, “Still, I missed you,” he replies and lays his head on Castiel’s chest.

“I missed you too, Dean,” Castiel replies, running his fingers through Dean’s hair. It doesn’t take long before Castiel hears Dean’s breathing even out. He smiles at his sleeping boyfriend and wonders how he got so lucky. Before Dean came into his life Castiel felt lost and alone. His world was dark, cold, and empty. His nightmares lurking around every corner ready to jump out of him and choke the last breath out of him. The green eyed boy next to him was a beacon guiding Castiel’s way back. He doesn’t know what he would do without Dean and hopefully he will never find out. Because as much as he doesn’t want to admit it. He has fallen in love with Dean Winchester. It terrifies and at the same time a thrill shoots through him. Maybe one day he will be able to say those words out loud. Until then he will hold on to Dean for as long as he is allowed to. Deep inside, he prays that day will never come, when he has to give up Dean. He is selfish for wanting to keep the boy who stole his heart. But damn it, it’s about fucking time he has some happiness in his life right? He deserves it after Zeke destroyed his world. One thing he knows for sure. He will never let Dean go without a fight. Castiel vows to keep him safe until his last breath. Because like the song said; he’s an angel with a shotgun, fighting till the war’s won.  

[Red Hot Chili Peppers - Under The Bridge ](https://youtu.be/O9TunCtR3dQ)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Need your thoughts on this :)
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	13. Dragula

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> Warning possible slurs in different chapters.  
> Enjoy the chapter!!

Returning back to school after his parents passed is harder than Cas thought possible.  The amount of work that he has to catch up on alone is a headache.  Thankfully, he knows he can get it done, it will just eat up a lot of his time.  Castiel is driving home from school with Dean in the passenger seat and Sam in the back. Since the injury, Dean has been experiencing migraines, so by doctor's orders, he isn’t allowed to drive.  Of course, that pissed the green-eyed boy off to no end, but there is nothing anyone can really do about it.  The Winchester brothers have spent almost all of their free time at Castiel’s. Mary has picked up as many double shifts as she can since it is getting closer to Christmas. Halloween is around the corner, and Castiel is actually looking forward to it this year.  He is thinking about throwing a small party for close friends since they are too old to go out Trick-or-Treating and they all need an excuse to cut loose.  After Castiel losing both of his parents, Dean’s injury, and the fact he can’t play football or drive, both boys are stressed out.  Zara has been working hard since the funeral, splitting her time between school and funding a new transportation company that drives teens who party home safely.  Castiel, with permission from Gabriel, took a sizable donation from his trust fund to help his best friend start the service.

Dean’s mom, after hearing about the taxi service, decided to get involved. So with help from her longtime friends, Ellen, and Bobby Singer, Mary set up to have a four bedroom house built on the Singer’s property.  It would serve as a safe house for teens like Zara, whose home life is not ideal.  They would be able to get away for a night or two with no questions asked, as long as there were no signs of abuse.  So needless to say, the friends need a night just to be teens again.

“Are you dressing up this year Sam?” Castiel asks from the driver's seat, his eyes focusing on the road ahead of him.

Sam adjusts in the seat, moving forward and putting his chin on the seat in front of him. “Yeah, I’m thinking about going as a demon. You know, red eyes and all that shit.”

“Language, Sammy,” Dean says as he twists around to glare at his younger brother.  “And demons don’t have red eyes.”

“How would you know?” Sam asks.

Dean thinks about it for a minute and shrugs, “I don’t, but I think it would be cool if their eyes were black.”

Castiel chuckles listening to the brothers bickering, “crossroad demons have red eyes,” he offers.

Dean flicks his eyes to look at his boyfriend. He arches an eyebrow and smiles, “What do you know about crossroad demons, Cas?”

“Only what I’ve read in books. They’re the ones who make deals on souls for Hell.” He pulls the truck up in the driveway, shifts it into park, and turns around to look at Sam.  “I think it would be pretty cool to do the black eyes. We can find colored contacts online and order them tonight if you want.”

Sam enthusiastically nods in response. The three of them get out of the truck and make their way inside the house. They throw their backpacks on the floor by the door and head into the kitchen. Castiel grabs each one of them a drink and passes them around.

“And what are you going to be Cas?” Dean asks with a smirk on his face, “An angel?”

“Ha-ha, very funny,” Castiel says as he leans forward and kisses Dean lightly on the lips. “But no, I’m going as the Crow.”

Dean’s breathing hitches, “The Crow?  As in Brandon Lee?”

Castiel nods, “Complete with the long, curly black wig and make-up.  Do you like?” He smiles when he sees his boyfriend’s Adam's apple bob in his throat.  “I’ll take that as a yes.” Castiel turns around and walks back into the living room to grab his books. The last thing he really wants to do is homework, but it must be done. Sam follows suit and glares at Dean to do the same. The three of them sit at the kitchen table in silence as they go over their work. Every once in a while, one of the Winchester’s needs Castiel’s help and he gladly provides it.

After three hours of nonstop work, Castiel is bored out of his mind and his eyes feel like they are permanently crossed from staring at his books.  He closes his book and walks into the living room. Turning on the TV, he brings up an action movie on Netflix.  The other two boys join him on the couch.

Castiel sends a group text to Charlie and Zara to let them know about the party. Charlie responds that both girls will attend, and if he needs any help planning it, to let her know.  He puts his phone back in his pocket and curls up next to Dean, laying his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. Just as the end credits roll, Gabriel walks through the door.  Since the funeral, his brother has been home more often than not.

“Broski,” the older Novak says over his shoulder as he walks to the kitchen, “what’re y’all up to?”

Castiel untangles himself from his boyfriend to follow his brother. He hops up on the counter and watches Gabriel pull out stuff for dinner. “I’m throwing a Halloween party.”

The older Novak nods his head, “Sounds fun. Should I make myself scarce that night?”

Shaking his head, Castiel replies, “No.  I figured you could help me plan. After all, you’ve been known to throw some killer parties.”

Gabriel smiles, “Hells yeah, one kick ass night of the dead party coming up.”

* * *

The day of the party arrives and Castiel finds himself up early that morning to get the house decorated. He’s currently standing on a ladder, stretching fake cobwebs across the ceiling.  The front door opens and Charlie walks in carrying an old metal wash tub.  Zara walks in behind her carrying several sacks of apples. Castiel hops down and takes a few sacks from his friend. “We’ll put these out in the pool area. The DJ should be here in a few hours to set up.” The three friends walk out back and into the pool house. It’s a reinforced glass building with an Olympic sized pool. His family had it installed when his brother Michael was on the swim team in school.  Last night the guys set up and decorated everything inside.  They slung fake blood all over the windows, and a red, reinforced glass pool cover was put in place to serve as a dance floor.  On the back wall, a screen has been set up with a projector to play scenes from popular horror movies.  In the right corner of the room, near where the DJ booth will be set up is a fog machine and on the left side of the room, there are two full-size coffins that will be used for ice and drinks.

“Holy mother of God, it looks like there was a mass murder in here,” Zara gasps.

“Just the look I was going for,” Castiel replies as he puts the apples down in the corner of the room. He hit the lights to the pool and motions for the girls to step on the glass cover. They cautiously step forward and look down, the lights in the pool illumining the room in a wash of red color.

“Are those skeletons floating in the water?” Charlie asks.

Castiel smiles, “Yeah, that was Dean’s idea.  Too much?”

“Hell no,” Zara starts, “it will look like we’re dancing on a pool of blood and dead bodies. It’s perfect.” She walks over to her best friend and stands on her tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek. “You’re a morbid motherfucker.”

* * *

Later that night the friends are in separate rooms, changing into their costumes. Castiel stands in front of his bathroom mirror, adding the black liner to his eyes.  He decided to forgo the white face makeup because he’s sure he will sweat it off.

“Cassie, shake your ass. The guests will be here soon,” he hears his older brother call from the bottom of the stairs.

He steps back to look at his outfit. The black leather pants hug his ass well, and the tight black shirt clings to him like a second skin.  The dark color of his makeup and costume forces the blue of his eyes to stand out. He slips his wig on, takes the stairs down by twos, and steps into the living room.

“Good God, Cassie,” Charlie gasps when her eyes land on him. She is dressed as the Corpse Bride.

“I think my ovaries just exploded,” Zara adds. She is dressed as Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Sam is standing next to her in a tailored, three-piece suit with his black contacts in place.  Castiel smiles and ruffles his shaggy hair, “Nice threads, dude.” There is a knock at the door and Castiel goes to open it.  A girl around Sam’s age, with long blonde hair, is standing on the other side.  She is dressed as Poison Ivy.

“Hi, I’m Jess,” the girl says, “is Sam ready?” Sam had to practically beg Dean to let him go out with Jess instead of staying at the party. The older Winchester wanted his little brother close. Thankfully, Castiel talked him into letting Sam go out.  _(“Dean it would be a good thing for Sam to get out for a night without you tagging along.” “He’s only thirteen, Cas.” “Dean, Jess’s mom will be there with us.”  “Jess?  As in Jessica, the cute little blonde you’ve been talking about non-stop?” “Yes.” “Oh, how adorable! Sam’s going on his first date. Sam and Jessica sitting in a tree… K.I.S.S.I.N.G.”  “  Shut the hell up, jerk.”  “Bitch.”  “Dean, there will more than likely be alcohol at our party too.  So just let him go, okay?” “Yeah, you’re right, Cas.  Fine, Sammy, you can go.”)_

Sam slips past Castiel and smiles at the girl. “Yeah, I’m ready, let’s go.”

Dean walks over to stand next to his boyfriend. “You two be careful,” he calls out as he watches them walk down the driveway and get inside a van. Once the door is closed, Castiel looks over at Dean.  He is dressed in dark jeans with a black V-neck shirt. There’s a thigh holster with a BB gun on his right leg. The shiny metal handcuffs, hanging from his hip catch Castiel’s attention. Fuck, that shouldn’t be as hot as it is.  “What are you dressed as?”

A slow smile plays over Dean’s face, “A bounty hunter.”

The younger Novak steps into his boyfriend’s personal space. He leans forward and whispers, “Maybe we can use those cuffs later?” Castiel doesn’t miss the hitch in Dean’s breathing, and he chuckles softly as he gives the elder Winchester a chaste kiss.

Gabriel huffs a laugh. “Alright, before you two start humping each other’s legs, let’s get this party started.” The elder Novak is dressed as a candy striper, not surprising really. Gabriel unwraps a cherry sucker and pops it in his mouth, then turns and leads the friends out back.  They step into the pool house, which is now bumping with music provided by the DJ.  The red spotlights outside in the yard around the building combined with the fog machines outside make it looks like hell on earth.

Several people from their school are already there and dancing to the music. Castiel walks up to the DJ, and soon takes the microphone.  “Welcome to my night of the dead party. I hope everyone has a good time. There’s really only two rules tonight.  Rule number one: Put your car keys in this bowl up here if you’re going to drink.  We have three minivans provided by Jedi Transportation to take you home tonight. Thanks to Zara, the mastermind behind the company, and Gabe for putting that together. The second rule: have fun, and let me hear you scream!” With that, the DJ queues up the song _‘Scream’_ by Avenged Sevenfold.

**Caught up in this madness too blind to see**

**Woke animal feelings in me**

**Took over my sense and I lost control**

**I'll taste your blood tonight**

**You know I make you wanna scream**

**You know I make you wanna run from me baby**

**but know it's too late you've wasted all your time, yeah**

Castiel makes his way through the crowd to find Dean standing in the back corner of the room. “There’s no way I’m throwing a party and allowing you to stand around in the dark.” He takes a hold of Dean’s hand and pulls him out on the dance floor.  Castiel faces his boyfriend and grabs a hold of Dean’s waist. Their eyes meet and lock while Castiel starts moving his hips back and forth, trying to set a rhythm.

**Relax while you're closing your eyes to me**

**So warm as I'm setting you free**

**With your arms by your side there's no struggling**

**Pleasure's all mine this time**

**You know I make you wanna scream**

**You know I make you wanna run from me baby**

**but know it's too late you've wasted all your time**

They get lost in the music, and soon Dean matches his boyfriend’s movements perfectly.  Castiel turns around, grinding his ass back against his boyfriend’s crotch, and Dean’s arms wrap around him.

**Cherishing, those feelings pleasuring**

**Cover me, unwanted clemency**

**Scream till there's silence**

**Scream while there's life left, vanishing**

**Scream from the pleasure unmask your desire**

**perishing**

**We've all had a time where we've lost control**

**We've all had our time to grow**

**I'm hoping I'm wrong but I know I'm right**

**I'll hunt again one night**

Dean moves his hands down and underneath the hem of his boyfriend’s shirt. With the body heat in the building from the other dancers, Castiel is sweating already. Dean moves his hands up the smooth wet skin, causing his Angel’s head to fall back on his shoulder. Castiel grins against Dean and this time he can feel the unmistakable press of his boyfriend’s erection against his ass.  He bites his lip to stifle a moan, not that it would matter, no one would be able to hear him over the music anyway.

**Some live repressing their instinctive feelings**

**Protest the way we're built don't point the blame on me**

**Scream, Scream, Scream the way you would**

**if I ravaged your body**

**Scream, Scream, Scream the way you would**

**if I ravaged your mind**

**[Scream - Avenged Sevenfold](https://youtu.be/RHfM1YDnsAI) **

* * *

They lose track of time, dancing through several songs. “Angel, if you keep that up, I’ll come in my pants right now, on this dance floor, in the middle of all our classmates,” he whispers in Castiel’s ear.

Castiel turns around and claims Dean’s lips, kissing with fervor.  There’s no denying the hunger both boys are feeling. He pulls back, placing his forehead against his boyfriend’s, “I want to make you come, Dean.”

“I don’t think anyone will miss us,” Dean says as he slips his hand in Castiel’s and starts pulling him through the crowd. There is definitely more people here now than when they started. They make it to the house and up the stairs to Castiel’s room. Locking the door behind them, Castiel quickly moves over to his stereo and switches it on.  Strong arms wrap around his waist from behind. He feels Dean’s warm breath against his skin and lets out a soft moan. Soft lips trail up Castiel’s neck and suck a bruise on the tanned skin under his ear. “Fuck,” he moans out. Dean chuckles and turns his boyfriend around, then his hands move up to take Castiel’s wig off.

**Baby, I'll wanna to touch you**

**I wanna breathe into your well**

**See, I gotta to hunt you**

**I gotta to bring you to my hell**

**Baby, I wanna fuck you,**

**I wanna feel you in my bones**

**Boy, I'm gonna love you**

**I'm gonna tear into your soul**

“Stay still, Angel,” he commands softly as his hands go to the hem of Castiel’s shirt.  Dean removes the shirt and throws it down, and then his lips go to his boyfriend’s collar bone and work their way down the long, lean body on display in front of him.  He teases his angel with his warm breath against soft skin, but not making the connection; he knows Castiel wants.  Dean swipes his tongue over one of Castiel’s nipples and then blows on it. The boy arches his back in response, and Dean repeats the treatment to his other nipple.

**Desire, I'm hungry**

**I hope you feed me**

**How do you want me, how do you want me?**

**How do you want me, how do you want me?**

**How do you want me, how do you want me?**

**How do you want me, how do you want me?**

**[Meg Myers - Desire](https://youtu.be/bR5u9jb0PJE) **

Dean sinks to his knees, trailing his tongue down his boyfriend’s body, planting a kiss right below his navel. He smiles against Castiel’s skin when the boy’s stomach muscles flutter in response. He pulls back long enough to make quick work of unbuttoning, unzipping, and pulling Castiel’s pants, along with his boxers, off.  Dean sits back to take in the full sight of his angel nude.  It’s the first time he has seen Castiel naked in the light. Fuck his boy is beautiful. The desire to worship his boyfriend’s body hits Dean hard. His cock is aching in his jeans, but for now, he ignores it.  He leans forward and kisses the inside of Castiel’s thigh, lightly licking there, forcing a litany of curses to fall from his angel’s lips. Castiel’s fingers find their way to Dean’s head and clutch his hair, not too tight to hurt, just enough to feel.  It causes Dean to let out a moan of his own. He’s always loved a little pain with pleasure. Dean moves his head over enough to lick up the underside of Castiel’s cock and swirls his tongue around the head. He hums at the taste of his angel’s pre-come. Breathing through his nose, Dean takes the entire length of Castiel down in one movement.

“Shit, Dean,” Castiel chokes out.  “Fuck, more,” he adds, as his fingers tighten their grip in Dean’s hair.  Dean hums around his boyfriend’s cock and moves his hands around to grabs his angel’s ass. He increases his speed, wanting to make Castiel fall apart with just his mouth.  “Dean,” Castiel pants, “I want to cum, but not like this.” Dean pulls off and looks up at his angel.

Castiel’s eyes are blown wide with lust, and he chews on his bottom lip, a clear sign he is nervous about something.

“What is it, baby?”

“I- uh-” he starts and then looks away.

Dean stands up and takes his chin in his hand. He turns Castiel’s face back to his, and when their eyes meet he asks, “What is it, Cas?  You can tell me anything.”

His boyfriend takes a deep breath and lets it out. “I want to come, but with you inside me.”

Dean’s breathing hitches, he has thought about actually taking the next step in their relationship for a little while now. But the timing never seemed right. He leans forward, pressing a soft kiss on his angel’s lips. When their lips part, Dean cups Castiel’s face.  “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“Yes. If you want it too, of course.”

Taking his angel’s hand, Dean leads them to the bed and gently lays Castiel down.  “I do. I want it more than anything."

[Rob Zombie - Dragula](https://youtu.be/nuLsxo20Rmo) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So .... after waiting for a month on a new chapter.... was it worth it?  
> Thoughts????  
> Thank you for editing this shawniegore!!!
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	14. Love Until We Bleed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> Warning possible slurs in different chapters.  
> Enjoy the chapter!!

Dean strips out of his clothes and then lies down beside his boyfriend. Castiel pulls him closer and gently covers Dean’s lips with his own. The kiss is slow and gentle. His tongue slides across his boyfriend’s lips, asking for entrance. Castiel’s fingers card through Dean’s hair and he pulls him closer, if that’s even possible, deepening the kiss. Castiel works his way across Dean’s jaw and down his neck, biting, sucking, and licking, leaving goose bumps in his wake. He flips Dean on his back and straddles him, leaning over to grab the lube and a condom out of his bedside table. Castiel turns his attention back to Dean, his boyfriend’s lips are kiss-swollen, and those green eyes are focused on him. “One last time… I have to know… are you sure?” The song switches to a slower, more sensual one. 

 **Go, go, go, go ..** **Oh lover, don’t you dare slow down ..** **Go longer, you can last more rounds ..** **Push harder, you're almost there now ..** **So go lover, make mama proud**

Dean flips them back over so Castiel is on his back. He kisses him thoroughly and bites at the blue-eyed boy’s bottom lip. “Yes, I’m sure,” he whispers against his boyfriend’s lips.

Castiel nods, “Sit up against the headboard and watch me.”

 **And when we're done, I don’t wanna feel my legs ..** **And when we're done, I just wanna feel your hands all over me, baby ..** **But you can’t stop there, music still playing in the background ..** **And you're almost there ..** **You can do it, I believe in you, baby ..** **So close from here**

Castiel wiggles out from under his boyfriend and moves to the edge of the bed, leans against the footboard, and spreads his legs. Making eye contact with Dean, he pours lube in his hands, spreading the liquid across his fingers.

 **Baby I’ma be your motivation ..** **Go, go, go, go ..** **Motivation ..** **Go, go, go, go**

His finger circles the ring of muscle and he hisses at the breach of his finger. Castiel starts working his finger in and out slowly. “Fuck,” he breathes out, eyes still locked with the green of his boyfriend’s.

 **Go, go, go, go ..** **Oh lover, don’t you dare slow down ..** **Go longer, you can last more rounds ..** **Push harder, you're almost there now ..** **So go lover, make mama proud**

Castiel adds a second finger, scissoring himself open; he hears Dean gasp and his breathing pick up. He flicks his eyes over his boyfriend’s face; Dean is stroking his cock slowly, his green eyes blown wide. Castiel can tell he’s trying to keep himself from coming too fast. A wicked smile crosses his face as he throws his head back and starts rocking his body down onto his fingers.

 **And when we're done, I don’t wanna feel my legs ..** **And when we're done, I just wanna feel your hands all over me, baby ..** **But you can’t stop there, music still playing in the background ..** **And you're almost there ..** **You can do it, I believe in you, baby ..** **So close from here**

Castiel’s tracks every movement his boyfriend makes, and damn Dean looks absolutely amazing hair wild, skin flushed, eyes glued on Castiel, bottom lip held between his teeth. “Oh fuck, Dean, yes,” Castiel moans when he adds a third finger a little too soon and bites his bottom lip hard, but the stretch and burn is exactly what he needs right now. Castiel thrusts his fingers in and out as deep as he possibly can. He hears Dean whimper, so Castiel slowly removes his fingers, hissing in response to the emptiness. He moves to his knees and crawls up Dean’s body, leaning in and brushing their lips together, kissing along his boyfriend’s jaw and down his neck. He bites at the soft skin and then trails his tongue over the mark.

The blue-eyed boy sits up and, grabbing the condom, he rips it open with his teeth and quickly rolls it down Dean’s erection. Castiel lubes up Dean’s cock, and then positions himself over his boyfriend and begins to sink down slowly, inch by inch.

Dean throws his head back and squeezes his eyes shut, “fuck, Angel… so fucking tight…”

Castiel stops, allowing his body to adjust to having Dean inside him, and fuck this feels so amazing. He’s had sex before, more than once with a few people, but this is different. This is giving his body to Dean, a boy who actually gives a damn about him, and he has to close his eyes because suddenly, it’s too overwhelming.

 **Baby I’ma be your motivation ..** **Go, go, go, go ..** **Motivation ..** **Go, go, go, go**

Once he is fully seated, Castiel starts rocking his body slowly. Dean’s hands grab a hold of his hips and he starts to slowly thrust up in rhythm with Castiel. The angel leans his head on Dean’s shoulder, resting it on the sweat-slicked skin.

“Cas, I need to see your face… open your eyes,” Dean says through breathy moans.

He does as he is told, raising up, hands splaying over Dean’s chest and opening his eyes, locking with his boyfriend’s.

 **And when we're done, I don’t wanna feel my legs ..** **And when we're done, I just wanna feel your hands all over me baby ..** **But you can’t stop there, music still playing in the background ..** **And you’re almost there ..** **You can do it, I believe in you baby ..** **So close from here**

**[Kelly Rowland - Motivation (Explicit) ft. Lil Wayne](https://youtu.be/s1XozsBN5Z4) **

“Shit… babe… I- fuck- I don’t know if I can last,” Dean moans.

With a wicked smile, Castiel rolls his hips and grinds down, the movement effectively making Dean’s cock brush against his prostate, and fuck, he has only had that happen while getting himself off. He cries out and picks up speed, his back arching. Castiel feels that familiar heat starts to pool in his stomach, so he wraps one hand around his cock, his other hand bracing on Dean’s chest for leverage and starts stroking, trying to match the rhythm of their bodies. His boyfriend’s fingers bite into his skin, and it sends Castiel hurtling over the edge. Dean’s name falls from his lips in almost a scream as he paints his boyfriend’s chest with his release. Dean lets out a string of curses as he feels Castiel’s body clench around his cock. Three more thrust up and Dean’s body arches, head falling back, “Castiel… oh fuck…,” he moans, emptying himself into the condom. Castiel practically collapses on top of his boyfriend, panting against Dean’s skin. When he finally pulls away to grab something to clean them off, he can see streaks of his black makeup on his boyfriend’s body.

Castiel lifts himself off Dean, making a little whimpering sound.

His boyfriend’s green eyes fly open, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Dean,” he smiles as he answers. Castiel gets off the bed, walks into the bathroom, grabs a washcloth, and wets it. Back in the room, he watches as Dean pulls off the condom, ties it off, and tosses it in the trash. 

After clean up, Castiel climbs in bed beside Dean, his boyfriend pulling him closer still and kisses him on the forehead. “Uh, so was that okay?” Castiel asks, laying his head on Dean’s chest, his boyfriend’s heartbeat calming him.

“It was more than okay, Cas,” he says sleepily, “it was perfect.” Dean yawns, and then softly, against Castiel’s hair, he murmurs, “You’re perfect.”

His boyfriend’s arms wrap around him tighter, and the blue-eyed boy listens to Dean’s breathing even out. His eyes close, and he is pulled into a deep sleep.

* * *

October blurs into November at a rapid pace. Dean’s headaches, while he still has them, have gotten better and his doctor allows him to drive and play football again. Even though the season is almost over, Dean is excited, to say the least. Victor went to court over Dean’s injury and was put on probation after agreeing to attend anger management classes. He apologized to Dean in court for what had happened, even though he swore he never meant for Dean to hit his head. Victor changed schools shortly after that, and no one has heard a word from him since.

Before Castiel knows it, they are out for Thanksgiving break. His siblings all get together like they do every year. Well, almost all of them. Michael doesn’t show his face for the holiday. Thank God for small miracles because Castiel may have had to kill his brother if he ran his mouth again. Dean and Sam are with their mother at a relative’s house out of state, but his boyfriend texts him, letting Castiel know how much he misses him. Dean has been more attentive to Castiel lately, reassuring him since Castiel had a panic attack not too long after they had sex. Mary had to sit Castiel down and have a heart to heart with him. She told him that there is no way Dean is going to walk away from him or treat him any different now that they’ve taken that step in their relationship. It was awkward, to say the least, because what teenager wants to sit down with his boyfriend’s mother and talk about how having sex wasn’t going to change things between them? Mary, being the wonderful person she is, wrapped Castiel in a huge hug, and made all his fears go away.

Hester arrived two days before Thanksgiving with her husband and kids, and Lucifer arrived a day later with his new girlfriend. Castiel wakes up early Thanksgiving morning to the smell of coffee and cinnamon. Still in his pajamas, he makes his way downstairs and walks into the kitchen. Gabriel ruffles his hair to annoy him, which makes Castiel growl at him while swatting his hand away.

His brother hands him a cup of coffee and two homemade cinnamon rolls. “What’s wrong, Cassie?” Gabriel asks, turning back around to finish chopping celery. “Are you missing your boyfriend?”

“Shh,” Castiel replies while blowing into his mug, “it’s too early for you to be allowed to talk.”

He hears a chuckle behind him and turns around to see Lucifer and his girlfriend. Castiel sits down at the table, “You too Luci, too early to hear your voice.”

“Well, aren’t you all sunshine and unicorns this morning,” Lucifer comments, tugging on Castiel’s hair as he walks by.

The younger brother growls, “Why must everyone fuck with my hair?”

The eldest Novak smiles, “I thought getting laid would put you in a better mood.”

“Son of a bitch,” Castiel growls, turning around in his chair and glaring at Gabriel. “I can’t believe you told him, you asshole!”

“Hey, I have to hear you moaning every time you two decide to fuck like rabid bunnies.”

Castiel flips his brother off and turns back around to drink his coffee.

Gabriel huffs a laugh, “Just be glad I didn’t tell our sister.”

“Tell me what?” Hester asks as she walks into the kitchen, her kids and husband following behind her.

Lucifer’s eyes flick from Castiel to their older sister, “It seems our baby brother is no longer innocent.”

“I wasn’t _innocent_ long before Dean,” Castiel replies without thinking.

Lucifer opens his mouth to say something, but Hester stops him. “Enough, let’s just enjoy breakfast without talking about this, shall we? I believe Castiel’s business shouldn’t be a topic for your entertainment, Luc.”

Once done with breakfast Castiel walks back upstairs, flopping down on his bed, wishing that Dean or Sam were there with him. He grabs his phone and sends a text to Dean.

Text from you: I just may wind up in jail for homicide after all.

Text from Dean: Then I’ll have to bust you out.

Text from you: Haha and how would you manage that?

Text from Dean: I’d find a way… there’s no way I’m living without my Angel.

Later that night, Castiel sits down with his family for dinner. He finds it odd that they actually eat in peace, having a normal conversation like a family should. Hester seems interested in how Castiel is doing in school, which she has never asked before, but he gives her the information she wants. For the most part, school is going well. She mentions that she would like him to tell her when he starts having track meets so she can attend. Castiel isn’t able to hide the surprise on his face but promises her that he will definitely let her know. Once the kitchen is clean, he plays board games with his nephew, Inias, and niece, Rachel.   

After Hester put the kids to bed, Charlie and Zara show up. The three of them curl up on the couch under a blanket and watch crap movies on Netflix. When both of the girls fall asleep on his shoulders, he smiles at them and vows to start spending more time with them. He knows it’s not completely his fault they haven’t really hung out lately. The girls’ relationship is still new, and so is his with Dean. He wakes them up and all three head upstairs to his room, crawl into bed and falls asleep.

* * *

 

November bleeds into December and Castiel’s school continues at the same pace, studying to keep up his grades and helping Dean maintain his. Castiel does his homework while Dean has football practice. Sure, it’s cold out, but the blue-eyed boy wouldn’t miss watching Dean play for the world. He attends every game, cheering his boyfriend on from the stands. While he is sure most of the school knows he is dating Dean, no one has mentioned it really. A week before their Christmas break, the boys, along with Sam, Zara, and Charlie, head to the mall to shop. Dean groans, of course, because he’s always hated shopping, but his angel promises a blowjob, so he goes willingly. They split up, Sam and Castiel hit different stores at the one end of the mall. Dean, Charlie, and Zara head in the opposite direction, each of them trying to find the perfect gift for the people on their list. 

Castiel has absolutely no idea what to buy Dean. He’s already bought Sam’s gift and it’s at home wrapped under the tree. It’s a book that the younger Winchester has been talking about non-stop. Three hours later, Castiel decides on a gift that Sam assures him Dean will love. After it’s wrapped, the two head over to the food court and wait for the rest to finish their shopping. They don’t wait long before the two redheads and Dean flops down in the chair beside him. Castiel laughs at his boyfriend who looks absolutely exhausted. Dean, of course, fails to find humor in the situation and leans forward, claiming his angel’s lips in a kiss, effectively shutting him up. They decide to grab food and sit at the table for a while, throwing French fries at each other and laughing. Eventually, the friends settle down and actually eat, barely breathing in between bites because they're starving. Once they throw away their trash, they walk around the mall aimlessly. 

Near the arcade, there is a photo booth. Dean grabs Castiel’s hand, pulling him in its direction. He pulls Castiel behind the curtain and has his angel sit on his lap. Dean feeds the machine money and the first picture is of them crossing their eyes, the second is of their tongues sticking out. For the next one, Castiel grabs Dean’s face and kisses him softly as the flash goes off, but they don’t pull apart. Dean positions his angel to where he is straddling his lap, and their kisses turn heated. His lips leave long enough to dig in his pocket and put more money in and then he pulls Castiel close, their lips meeting again. Everything around them fades away, it’s only Dean and Castiel in this moment and fuck is it amazing.      

Castiel’s hands grab ahold of Dean’s hair and he grinds down on his boyfriend as their tongues meet. His boyfriend gets with the program and starts thrusting up, meeting every roll of Castiel’s hips. Dean’s hands find their way under the hem of Castiel’s shirt and he claws at his angel’s back. It only serves to spur the blue-eyed boy on, and in between flashes of light he picks up his pace. Dean breaks the kiss and works his lips down Castiel’s neck, sucking on the skin, bringing a bruise to the surface. Heat starts to pool in Castiel’s stomach, and when he feels Dean’s teeth clamp down on his skin, he tumbles over the edge, coming in his pants. Castiel goes still, his head buried in his boyfriend’s neck. He would be embarrassed, but he hears Dean mumble, “Fuck, I can’t believe you made me come in my pants. Now I’m going to have to walk around with my boxers sticking to my skin,” in his ear. Castiel can’t stop the laughter that bubbles up from deep inside him, his whole body shaking.

“Are you done?” Dean asks after a few minutes.

Castiel pulls back and looks at Dean’s face, but winds up laughing again. Dean swats him on the ass and Castiel finally moves to get up. They try and fail to pull themselves together before stepping out of the booth. There is no way they can hide what they’ve been up to.

Pulling the curtain back, the first thing they see is Zara and Charlie doubled over laughing. Castiel flicks his eyes over to Sam; the poor boy is turned around standing with his face in his hands. He grabs their pictures from the machine, putting them in his back pocket. Taking Dean’s hand, he pulls him to the bathroom where they clean as much of the come off their bodies as they can. Their boxers are still slightly sticky, but it’s much better than before. Castiel looks up in the mirror, and his reflection is absolutely wrecked, but he finds that he doesn’t care. He’s never been happier than he is at this moment, and he wishes he could bottle it forever. They walk out and meet up with the others. Sam still won’t look either one of them in the eye.

Dean tries to wipe the smile off his face, but he can’t because, fuck, that was the craziest thing he’s ever done. “Come on, let’s get out of here,” he says as he starts walking to the front of the mall.

“You should've seen the looks on people’s faces as they walked by,” Charlie says, bumping shoulders with Castiel.

Zara nods, grinning like the Cheshire cat, “It was fucking priceless.”

“Don’t remind me please,” Sam whines as he walks beside the girls. “I’ll never be able to get that out of my head.”

“How much money did you put in the machine?” Castiel asks when his boyfriend throws an arm around his shoulder.

Dean grins, “Hopefully enough to capture every second we were in there.”

Castiel smiles, shakes his head, and flicks his eyes to the floor. They round the corner near the doors and Dean stops dead in his tracks, “Son of a bitch.”

The blue-eyed boy looks at his boyfriend, “what-” he starts, but as soon as he turns his attention to what, or actually who, Dean is staring at the words die on his tongue. He feels his boyfriend’s arm tighten around him, and Castiel places his hand on Dean’s back, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

The person in question smiles and walks closer to them, “Cassie, baby, do you miss me yet?”

[Love Until We Bleed - Destiel Fan Video - Heavy Slash - Chapter Title Inspiration](https://youtu.be/hstoV72Xv9Q)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah this happened... still not 100% happy with the smut... but I hope y'all like... thoughts?
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	15. Sweater Weather

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So huge thanks to my editor, for having my back, cheering me on, and not letting me give up on this. Shawnie, you're the best!!!
> 
> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> Warning possible slurs in different chapters.  
> Enjoy the chapter!!

“Cassie, baby, do you miss me yet,” Zeke asks as he walks closer, a smug smile on his face.

Dean steps in front of Castiel, “Didn’t you learn anything when I kicked your ass the first time?”

“Ah, yes, Castiel’s guard dog, we meet again.”

Castiel slips out from behind Dean and narrows his eyes at the other boy. “He’s not my guard dog, you douche. He’s my boyfriend, Dean, get it right.”

Zeke raises his hands in defense, “my mistake,” he says. “Once you tire of him Castiel, I’ll be waiting for you. My bed is always open for you.”

Dean takes a step forward to take a swing at the guy, but Castiel stops him. “It’s not worth it, Dean, he’s not worth it.” He flicks his eyes to his ex. “I don’t know what fucking planet you live on, but I’ll never be with you again. Leave me the hell alone, Zeke. I don’t want to hear my name pass your lips again. If I do, you won’t have to worry about what Dean will do to you; you’ll feel my wrath.”

He pulls on Dean’s hand, walking in the direction of the doors. He knows Sam and the girls are following behind them. Castiel takes his keys out of his pocket and tosses them to Dean, climbing into the passenger seat. Castiel opens up the console and flips through his CDs. He slides the selected one into the player and turns the music up full blast. ‘Three Day’s Grace - [Animal I Have Become](https://youtu.be/xXDC89tZ4IQ)’ starts playing through the speakers and he lays his head against the seat, closing his eyes.

**I can't escape myself … So many times I've lied … But there's still rage inside … Somebody get me through this nightmare … I can't control myself … So what if you can see the darkest side of me? No one will ever change this animal I have become… Help me believe it's not the real me… Somebody help me tame this animal**

Castiel lets the words soak through his mind, effectively shutting out everyone else in the truck.

* * *

When the truck comes to a stop in his driveway, Castiel grabs the keys, hops out, and unlocks the door as fast as his shaking hands will allow. Inside, he tosses his keys, not caring where they land, and takes the stairs up to his room. Thankfully, no one follows him and he shuts himself in his room. One thing he doesn’t like is feeling out of control, and even though he can’t explain it, seeing Zeke takes the control from him. He isn’t sure why he allows this to happen.

Now would be a good idea to call his therapist and set up an appointment. He knows Pamela will work him in immediately. If he is honest with himself, he should have done this after his parents passed. Instead, he allowed Dean to balm his wounds, which worked for a time, but he can no longer ignore his mental health. He takes his phone out of his pocket, pulls up her number, and sits down while he listens to the other line ring.

“Hey, sweet cheeks, long time, no hear,” Pamela’s sweet, sultry voice purrs over the line.

Castiel laughs; that’s what he loves about Pam. Her methods may be unconventional, and he has never met a therapist in his life that wears jeans in the office. The woman is no-nonsense, and will chap his hide in their first appointment he is sure. “Hey, Pam, think you could pencil me in?”

“Everything okay?” she asks; concern for him evident in her voice.

Castiel pinches the bridge of his nose, “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Pamela is quiet for a moment, and then she gives him a time and day to show up. “You be good. Call me if you need me to work you in sooner. Talk to you later, sugar.”

* * *

A couple of days later, Castiel walks downstairs to find his brother sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, reading something on his tablet. Castiel pours himself a cup and sits down next to him. The older Novak looks up and smirks, “Morning, baby bro, sleep well?”

Castiel shrugs, “As well as can be expected. Pam wanted to put me on meds, but I refused, so she suggested some yoga exercises. It’s helping so far.” 

“Whatever helps you, that’s all I care about. What do you say we go pick out a tree after school?”

Taking a drink of his coffee, Castiel hums, “Yeah, I guess we can do that. Don’t really see a need for it, but why not.”

“It will be fun. Maybe you’ll stop being a Grinch once we have the house decorated.”

“I’m not a Grinch,” he whines like a petulant child. “I’m just not into the holidays this year.” He finishes off his coffee and then gets up. “I have to go if I want to run before school starts. I’ll see you later.”

Gabe places two fingers near his head in a salute. “Later, Cassie.”

* * *

Standing out in the hallway, Castiel shoves his books inside his locker and grabs the ones he’ll need to take home. It’s been a long day, and he wants nothing more than to go home and sleep. Maybe he’ll turn in early after going to the tree farm with his brother. He can’t let Gabriel down; he hasn’t seen much of the man. As he’s closing his locker door, strong arms wrap around his waist. Castiel lets his head fall back on his boyfriend’s shoulder, “Hey.”

Pressing a quick kiss on Castiel’s neck, “Hey yourself,” Dean says. “Do you have plans for Christmas?”

He thinks to himself for a minute, “My sister and brothers will be at the house for dinner. Why do you ask?”

Dean turns Castiel around and places his hands on the wall of lockers behind his boyfriend, caging him in with his arms. “Mom wanted to know if you want to come over for dinner,” He gives the boy a chaste kiss. “But since you have plans, she’ll understand.”

Castiel chews on his bottom lip, “I can get out of it. The only one that would have a problem with it is Hester, but I can handle her.”

Dean smiles; the one that makes his green eyes light up, “Yeah? Cool, I’ll tell mom.” He hooks a finger under his boyfriend’s chin and kisses him softly. Dean pulls back, breaking the kiss, “Oh, how is your therapy going?” Castiel told Dean the day they came back from the mall that he was going to start seeing Pam again. He let Castiel know that he would help him in whatever way he could.

Castiel shrugs, “I’ve only had one appointment with her, but so far so good. I see her again Friday.”

Dean nods, “Okay, let me know if you need anything. I have to pick Sam up. Mom’s working late again tonight. Text me later?”

“Of course,” Castiel answers, then leans forward and kisses his Dean properly. “See you later,” he mumbles against his boyfriend’s lips.

* * *

As he pulls up in his driveway, Castiel honks the horn and then waits for his brother to come out. 'Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s - [Carol of the Bells](https://youtu.be/sCabI3MdV9g)' starts playing, if he has to listen to holiday music, he’d rather it be something he can tolerate. Finally, his brother walks out and hops into the truck. “So where to?” he asks once Gabe is buckled in.

“Where else?” his brother asks with a smirk. “Strawberry Hill. Let’s pick out a nice, big one this time.”

With a nod, Castiel backs out of the driveway and heads in the direction of the tree farm on Highway 40. As they make their way through town, a light snow starts falling. Thankfully, his coat is in the back, with his gloves. He’ll need them, for sure, once they arrive.

About thirteen minutes later, Castiel parks. He grabs his coat and then hops out of the truck, slipping them on while walking, his brother following behind. They wind in between the trees, Gabriel inspecting each one closely. Castiel’s lost count of how many they’ve looked at, and he’s getting more irritated with each minute that passes. The falling snow has picked up and is now a good few inches on the ground. He picks some up in his hand, forms a ball, and tosses it at his brother’s head. It hits its mark and Gabe turns around, scowling, “You ass,” he says, reaching down to grab a handful of snow himself.

Castiel takes off through the trees. He may be the faster runner, but his brother has no problem keeping up. He ducks behind a tree, quickly forms another ball and jumps out, tossing it as soon as he sees his brother. It hits Gabe in the chest as one hits Castiel’s right arm. He takes off running again, laughing along the way. At a little clearing, he stops and bends down, grabbing a hand full of snow. When Gabriel catches up with him, Castiel shoves the snow down the front of his brother’s shirt.

“You little fucker,” Gabe yells as Castiel takes off running again. Castiel bends down to make another snowball, but he slips, falling on his ass.

“I’m getting too old for this shit,” the elder Novak says, sitting down beside him. “Come on, I think I found the perfect one. Want some hot chocolate?”

Castiel nods all too quickly and stands up, reaching out his hand to help his brother to his feet. They walk back to the tree Gabe picked out and head to get assistance with it.

* * *

“Why the hell did you have to get one so tall, Gabe?” Castiel asks as they attempt to get the tree from the truck inside the house.

“Because it’s awesome,” his brother replies, walking backward up the driveway. “Quit your bitching and let’s get this inside. I’m freezing my balls off.”   

“Like that would be a big loss,” Castiel retorts.

His brother huffs a laugh, “You’re just jealous I got all the looks and charm in the family; you got stuck with the brains.”

“Keep thinking that, short stack.” They stand the tree up on the porch, Castiel still holding onto it while his brother unlocks the door. Once they get the tree over the threshold and into the space Gabe cleared out earlier, both of them work to get it into the stand. “You’re cleaning up the needles since it was your idea to get a real tree,” Castiel says as he straightens out the tree skirt. 

His brother steps back to look at the tree, “Are the decorations still out in the garage?”

Castiel sits down on the couch and nods, “Yeah, last time I checked.”

“While I go grab those, why don’t you order pizza? I’m starving.”

Two hours later and full of pizza, the brothers are sitting down on the couch watching the twinkling lights on the tree. Even though he won’t admit it aloud, with the tree decorated, he feels a little better about the holiday. It just won’t be the same without his parents. It would be a good time to make new traditions and memories. Gabriel selects a movie on Netflix and they watch it while annoying each other every now and again.

“Why don’t you go get the ladder out of the garage and sit on top of the tree? You can be a real life angel tree topper.”

Castiel punches his brother in the arm, but can’t stop himself from laughing. “So will Kali be here for Christmas?”

His brother shrugs, “Probably. I’m thinking about proposing on Christmas Eve.”

Castiel huffs a laugh, “Let it never be said that Gabriel Novak is not a hopeless romantic.”  

“Zip it, broski,” he says, smacking Castiel on the back of his head. “You cool with that, though?’

The younger Novak tilts his head, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because she’ll move in here with us once we’re married.”

“I’ll probably be off in college by that time, so it really doesn’t matter to me. Besides, this house is too big for just the two of us anyway.”

Gabriel turns to face his brother, “You still going to KU? Wouldn’t that cause a problem since Zeke is there?”

Castiel flicks his eyes down to stare at the carpet. The truth is that’s exactly why he no longer wants to go to KU. It’s not fair that he changes colleges because of his ex, but he wants to be able to focus on his studies without worrying about running into the jackass. “I haven’t decided. I’m looking into my options.”

“You know, you could always go to the campus here. You don’t have to go to Kansas City. Hell, it would keep you from living in the dorms too,” Gabriel points out. “It’s something to think about.”

Castiel nods, “Yeah, I’ll think about it.” He yawns and looks at the time. “I’m calling it a night, see you in the morning.”

* * *

_[Have yourself a merry little Christmas](https://youtu.be/_W7b7Aq9tyQ), Let your heart be light... From now on, our troubles will be out of sight... Have yourself a merry little Christmas, Make the Yule-tide gay, From now on, our troubles will be miles away._

Castiel wakes up Saturday morning to the sound of Christmas music playing. He peers over at the clock; eight in the morning is too early for holiday cheer. He grabs a change of clothes, takes a quick shower, and brushes his teeth. Downstairs, Gabriel and Lucifer are on the couch, throwing popcorn that they should be stringing together, at each other.

“You’re a week early, Luc,” the younger Novak mumbles.

“Sarah and I are looking into buying a home here,” Lucifer answers.

Castiel’s head falls back and he stares at the ceiling, “What realm of hell did I fall in, and what did I do to deserve it?” When a throw pillow hits him in the head, he glares at his older brother.

“Oh, nice smite-y eyes, bro,” Gabriel says through laughter.

Lucifer smiles, “Do worry, little brother, I’ll make sure you have a deluxe suite in Hell. Right next to my throne room.”

The younger Novak sighs, “It’s too early in the morning for this.” He turns around, walks into the kitchen, and fixes a cup of coffee. Sitting down at the table, he clutches his cup and effectively ignores his older brother’s antics. When his phone goes off in his pocket, he pulls it out and swipes his thumb over the screen.

Text from Dean: Taking Sam and Jess ice-skating. Wanna come with and make it a double date?

Castiel smiles and quickly replies.

Text to Dean: Of course, sounds fun.

Text from Dean: Cool, be ready in an hour. 

An hour later, Castiel slips on his coat, gloves, and beanie and heads out the door as Dean is pulling up. Sam and Jess call out to him from the backseat as he slides in. Dean leans over and gives him a quick peck on his lips before he puts the car in drive and takes off. They pull in at Library Lawn Skate Rink a little bit later. The four of them get out of the car and head inside to rent their skates. Once they have them on their feet, they head out onto the synthetic ice. Castiel has gone ice-skating ever since he could remember, so he takes off around the ring. Dean catches up with him quickly and puts his arms around Castiel’s waist, skating along the ice together. Sam and Jess hold hands as they make their way around the rink. Castiel pulls away from Dean and goes into a spin, letting his head fall back and bringing in his arms to propel himself faster.   

“Aren’t you a regular Scott Hamilton,” Dean teases as Castiel comes out of the spin.

Castiel stops, blinks at his boyfriend, tilting his head, he smiles, “How do you know who he is?”

Dean looks away quickly, “Uh, my mom, she likes watching ice-skating.”

“Uh huh, sure, we’ll go with that. Come on, Brian Boitano,” Castiel teases back as he reaches for Dean’s hand and starts skating again.

After about two hours, both Dean and Castiel decide they need a break and head off the ice in search of hot chocolate. They sit down with their hot beverages and watch the other skaters in silence. After a few minutes, Castiel looks over at his boyfriend, “Want to come over to watch Christmas movies and get full on cookies and popcorn?”

Dean huffs a laugh, leans forward, and kisses Castiel softly. “I wouldn’t miss it, but we have to watch The Christmas Story. It’s a classic.”

Rolling his eyes, Castiel laughs, “Fine, we’ll watch it first.”

* * *

After ice-skating and grabbing lunch at a local diner, Dean drops Sam and Jessica off at his house. Mary is off work for the night, so they’ll be able to spend sometime relatively alone together. When they arrive back at Castiel’s house, he plucks the remote out of Gabriel’s hand, “Where is Luc?”

Gabriel pops him on the back of the head when he sits down. “Who knows? Probably out raising the four horsemen to start the apocalypse.” He sits back, watching what his brother is pulling up on Netflix. “Sup, Dean-o?”

Dean takes a seat beside Castiel, “Same shit, different day. We’re about to watch ‘The Christmas Story’. You down?”

The older Novak hops up off the couch and heads for the kitchen, “Hells yeah I am. I’ll start the popcorn.” They hear him shuffling around in the kitchen. Dean raises an eyebrow in question and his boyfriend just shrugs in response. “I baked six different varieties of cookies, three different cakes, and four kinds of pie. Which ones do y’all want?” Before they can answer, they hear Gabriel say, “Fuck it, I’ll bring them all.”

Castiel laughs, “Gabe, it’s a wonder how you don’t have diabetes given how much sugar you intake on a daily basis.”

“I have a rare condition, Cassie,” Gabriel calls from the kitchen. “I may die without my sugar.”

Dean shakes his head, “No, what you have is a sweet tooth, Gabe.”

The older Novak walks out of the kitchen with a pie in each hand. One is apple and the other cherry. Dean’s eyes light up and he scoots forward to take a piece. He moans with the first bite. “I think I’ve died and gone to pie heaven.” Castiel gives him a bite of his cherry pie. “Oh, sonofabitch that’s good. Marry me, Gabriel. I’ll make you a happy man.”

“No can do, Dean. I’m spoken for,” Gabriel says with a huff of laughter as he walks back in the living room with the rest of the goodies. “Besides, I don’t think Cassie, here, would like that.”

Castiel pushes play on the movie and settles back against the cushions, “Oh, no, you can have him, Gabe-”

Dean leans over, kissing his boyfriend, effectively shutting him up. “You’d miss me,” he whispers against Castiel’s lips.

Humming in agreement, Castiel pulls away and focuses his attention on the movie. Overall, it’s been a good day. The best one Castiel’s had in a while. Hopefully, there will be more to come.   

[Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood ](https://youtu.be/RA26uXxh5O0)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?  
> Needs feedback :) like I need air
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	16. Fun - We Are Young

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Monijune for betaing this. 
> 
> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> Warning possible slurs in different chapters.  
> Enjoy the chapter!!  
> 

**_You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, you know Comet, and Cupid, and Donner and Blitzen, but do you recall the most famous reindeer of all…_ **

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Castiel says aloud in his room. He flips over and looks at the clock. Seven in the morning, the third morning in a row to be exact, that Gabriel has played ridiculous Christmas music at an ungodly hour.

**_Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, had a very shiny nose, and if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows…_ **

Castiel flies out of bed, not even bothering to put a shirt on first, throws up his door, and walks quickly downstairs. His brother is standing at the island in the kitchen, up to his elbows in flour. “Gabriel Isaac Novak, I swear to every god known to man, if you do not turn that crap off, I’ll cut your balls off and feed them to you.”

The older Novak looks up from his work, a smirk firmly in place, eyes shining with mischief, “Well, if it isn’t my favorite brother, Scroogestiel.” He huffs a laugh at the glare Castiel gives him. “Oh, come on, baby bro, get in the holiday spirit.”

“Gabriel, turn that hideous music off. Must you irritate everyone this early in the morning,” Hester asks, walking in the kitchen, pouring herself a cup of coffee, then takes a seat at the table.

Gabriel rolls his eyes, grabbing for the remote, not bothering to wash the flour off his hands and shuts the music off, “Killjoys.”  

Hester turns her attention to the youngest Novak, “Castiel, I was told you will not be joining us for Christmas dinner.”

Damn it, here comes the fight that he hasn’t been looking forward to, but he isn’t going to give in to his sister’s demands. He sighs, leaning his hip against the counter, “Yeah. I’m going to Dean’s house. His mom invited me.” He sees the irritation flicker across his sister’s face and prepares to launch into a speech about how he’s old enough to make his own decisions.

“Alright, I hope you enjoy yourself, Castiel,” Hester replies, effectively killing the words that were already formed to roll off his tongue at the slightest opposition from his sister.

Castiel blinks at his sister, speechless for a moment. He chews on his bottom lip, “Um, I will,” he manages to say, “Thanks.” It was more of a thank you for Hester not forcing him to sit through a family dinner when he would rather be with Dean. He’s done the family dinner thing for far too many years. He’s not sure why his sister isn’t fighting him on this, but he isn’t going to ask either. She may change her mind, not that it would matter. Either way, he’s still going. He wouldn’t miss it for the world. He is excited to see how it will be different at the Winchester home.

* * *

After an hour of going through his entire closet, clothes slung all over the room, Castiel dresses in a navy blue button up, a dark pair of jeans, and his black boots. Dean told Castiel not to stress over what to wear, just to be comfortable. Regardless, he wants to look his best and believes he’s managed to do so. Downstairs, he grabs his black trench coat, gloves, keys, and tells his siblings he’ll be back later over his shoulder. It’s still snowing outside, he pulls on his gloves before opening the truck door and hopping in. To say he is nervous about the dinner would be an understatement, but he takes a deep breath and starts the engine, allowing time for it to warm up. Looking over his shoulder, he backs out of the driveway and points the truck in the direction of Dean’s house.

It takes a little longer than usual to arrive at Dean’s, with the snow covering the streets and it being dark. As he puts the truck in park and gets out, he can hear an instrumental version of ‘O Holy Night’ coming from the house. The door opens as soon as he steps foot on the porch, Dean steps out, smiling at him and ushers him inside. This isn’t the first time he’s been inside the Winchester’s house, and it always feels warmer here than his own. Dean explains that they were having addition family coming, but blizzard-like conditions hit where they lived, so it would just be the four of them. The conversation over dinner is light and fun. Mary actively participates in everything said, her smile reaching her light blue eyes, making them shine in a way that reminds Castiel so much of Dean. After their stomachs are filled to the brim, Castiel runs out to his truck to grab the presents he bought so they can exchange gifts. Sam gets excited over the book Castiel bought him since it’s the newest edition to the series he is reading.

Mary opens the heart shaped locket that Castiel bought for her, and when her small hands take it out of the box she asks him to put it on her. Once it’s fastened in place, she turns around with a bright smile, her eyes tear-filled. “This is beautiful, Castiel, you didn’t have to get me anything.” 

He flicks his eyes down, “I know, Mary, but I wanted to.”

She places a soft, gentle hand on his cheek and when his eyes meet hers, she says, “Thank you, I love it. Now I’ll need a picture of all three of my boys to put in it.”

Castiel tilts his head to the side, “Three?”

Mary laughs softly, “Yes, three; you’re my boy also, Castiel.”

Castiel swallows around a lump that has formed in his throat with her words.  He bites the inside of his cheek to keep the tears at bay, but it doesn’t help. A tear slips down his cheek and Mary brushes it away quickly. She cups both sides of his face and brings his head down, placing a soft kiss on his forehead. If she notices how his body shakes slightly, she doesn’t mention it. The simple act makes Castiel realize how much he’s missed out. No one will ever replace his parents.  They might not have been very affectionate, but he never doubted their love. He knows that Mary isn’t trying to replace them, but to heal him with her unconditional love. Without thinking, he wraps his arms around her and holds on tight.  He’s not sure why, but he needs this right now. He feels greedy, like a thief almost, but when he feels her arms around his back, he knows that it’s okay to want this, to need a hug from a pseudo-mother. While his head rests on her shoulder, he allows a few more tears to fall, Mary whispering soothing words in his ear all the while. When his body has released all it can, he collects himself with a few deep breaths and pulls out of her embrace. He quickly wipes at his eyes with his hands, and then softly thanks her. Mary just smiles softly and nods in understanding.

When he turns back to Sam and Dean, he can see their tear tracks as well.  At least, he knows he wasn’t the only one affected by their display. Castiel smiles and picks up Dean’s gift, handing it to his boyfriend with shaky hands, and watches while he opens it. He bites his lip, because honestly, he had no idea what to get Dean, but when he sees the other boy’s eyes light up, he can’t suppress the grin that forms on his face. It’s a leather bracelet, about three inches wide, with an inscription on it in a language that Dean doesn’t recognize. Dean places it on his right wrist and Castiel helps him with the clasp.

When it’s in place, his boyfriend looks up from his bracelet to Castiel’s face, “What does it say?”

“It’s Enochian for ‘my best friend’,” he answers.

Dean leans forward and brushes their lips together softly, and whispers in the space between them after breaking the kiss, “Thank you.” He then hands Castiel a present.

Castiel tears the paper with a little more excitement than he’s felt in a while when it comes to gifts, because this is the first one from a person other than his own family. Inside, nestled against a white cloth is a black chain. He lifts it up, and dangling from it is a five-pointed star, encircled by what looks like tribal flames. As Dean helps him put it on, he explains that it’s a warding symbol to keep demons away, and that when he can, he is going to get it tattooed on his chest, to which Sam adds that he is going to do the same once he is of age.

Sam stands up and walks closer to get a better look at Castiel’s necklace. He grins, “After we get the tattoos, we’ll all match.”

The rest of the night is spent with the four of them sitting on the floor, Dean playing Christmas carols on his guitar. To Castiel’s surprise, his boyfriend is extremely talented.  He may sing a little off key at times, but Castiel can tell he thoroughly enjoys entertaining them. Mary and Sam even join in singing with Dean.  After another round of desert, Mary tells Castiel to spend the night since it’s only gotten nastier outside with the snow. He agrees and sends off a quick text to Gabriel to let him know that he won’t be home. Mary brings down a blanket and pillows for the couch. A little argument breaks out between Dean and Castiel over who was going to sleep on the couch. Dean is adamant that he will sleep downstairs and Castiel can have his bed. Castiel only concedes after figuring out that his boyfriend will argue about it until he’s blue in the face. His boyfriend takes his hand and drags Castiel upstairs, gets him an unopened toothbrush, and leaves him in the bathroom. After he finishes brushing his teeth, he walks into Dean’s room. There’s a t-shirt and sweatpants laying on the bed for him. Dean kisses him quickly before walking out the door to allow him to change.

He’s just crawling into Dean’s bed, the light already off, when his boyfriend shows back up in the room. Dean sits down beside him and runs his hands through Castiel’s hair. It’s soothing after the long, emotional day. Dean starts humming softly, and the sound is beautiful to Castiel’s ears. He doesn’t recognize the tune, so he clears his throat and asks, “What are you humming?”

Dean huffs a soft laugh, “Hey Jude. My mom used to sing it to me and Sammy when we were younger.”

“It’s nice,” he whispers in the darkness and curls up closer to the other boy.

His boyfriend makes a noise of agreement and continues the soft humming.

* * *

 

Castiel rolls his neck from side to side.  He’s sore from working all morning getting the pool house in order for the New Years Eve party he will be hosting tonight. Why he let his two redheaded best friends talk him into this, he’ll never know. Oh, who is he kidding? He can never tell the girls no, but he let them know they will be helping him clean up the mess after. Said best friends are currently in the corner of the room trying to decorate the place, giggling over something.

Castiel steps down the ladder and turns his attention on them. “Guess who got a live band for tonight?”

Charlie looks over her shoulder, arching an eyebrow, “You managed to lock down a band?”

He nods his head, smiling, “I did. They should be here two hours before the party to set up and run a sound check.”

Zara flips her long hair over her shoulder, shifting her weight to her right leg, “Well, are you going to tell us who?”

He takes another streamer from the box and then faces them again. “Airport Novels.”

Both girls squeal in unison, “You’re kidding? Tell me you’re not joking, Cas.” 

Castiel shrugs; he knew the girls would be excited. All he’s heard about for months is how awesome the band is. He gave in, listened to them one night, and had to agree. Even though they are a local band in Lawrence, he knows it won’t take long before they hit the big time. “I kid you not, Charlie.”

Zara jumps up and wraps her arms around him, “You fucking rock, Cassie.”

He laughs and hugs her back, “Just remember that when you’re cleaning this place up in the morning.”  

* * *

Three hours later, with the pool house fully decorated, Castiel sits down and rests for a few minutes. The see-through, reinforced glass cover has been placed over the pool, which will serve as a dance floor. There are colored, plastic Champaign flutes floating around in the water. The band arrived on time and their sound check provides music while Castiel’s eyes scan over every detail. The makeshift stage in the front of the room, thankfully doesn’t take up much space. Castiel didn’t invite as many people this time as he did with the Halloween party, but he’s sure there will be extras showing up, which is fine with him. The banner that Zara bought is hanging from the ceiling among streamers.  He reads the words again, ‘Let’s Kick Ass in 2016’. Old metal wash buckets full of drinks line the entirety of the room.

He checks his watch and notices it’s time to go get ready. People will be arriving in about an hour, and he really needs to wash all the sweat from his body. He stands up from his spot on the floor and makes his way out of the pool house. When he’s inside the main house, he finds the girls sitting on the couch. He lets them know he’s going to shower and that Dean should be arriving soon. Upstairs he grabs a pair of worn jeans and a simple black t-shirt and then makes his way to the bathroom.

* * *

Once he’s dressed, Castiel heads downstairs, he can hear laughter from the kitchen. When he turns the corner, he finds Gabriel entertaining the girls and Dean. His boyfriend is dressed in jeans and a black Henley.  Gorgeous doesn’t even begin to describe the boy standing in front of him. Dean leans in and kisses him softly against his temple. The five of them make their way outside and into the pool house where the guests have already started to gather. At exactly nine, Castiel steps on stage and grabs the microphone. “Thank you for all coming out to bring in the New Year with us. We hope you have a kick ass time tonight. Remember, if you’re drinking tonight, Jedi Transportation is here to make sure you get home safely, no drinking and driving. Now, I’m happy to announce that we have a live band to play for us. Please welcome on the drums, Kag. On bass we have, Adg. Guitarist and backup vocals, Tri. Lead guitarist and singer, Eeg. Airport Novels is in the house tonight! Let’s party people.” The guests go wild, and Castiel jumps off stage as the band starts playing.

**[I've always wanted what I can't have.](https://youtu.be/pZymaDA6pI4) I seem to fall flat on my face. Is it all worth it? Does it even really matter what I say? If you could see me now, I'm going against everything you ever told me. Maybe I'll make you proud, but I just don't care.**

Castiel finds his way through the crowd and pulls Dean out on the dance floor. He wraps his arms around Dean’s neck and starts moving to the music.

**I guess I'll take the wrong way; I'll take the wrong road home. I'm not giving up; I'll do this on my own.**

Zara dances up behind Castiel and places her hands on his hips, matching his movement perfectly. Charlie does the same with Dean and the four of them move together. This night is perfect. He has the three people that truly make him happy. He’s thankful for each one of them. He spots Gabriel over in the corner talking to Kali. His brother’s face is priceless, showing true adoration as he looks at his fiancé. Castiel is overcome with joy, this is his family.  They’re dysfunctional at best, and he wouldn’t trade them for the world.

**This is the way I feel. We could have been so much, but you didn't want me, so I'll move on. You are the one who lied, I am the one who tried, we never had it and we never will.**

* * *

As the clock inches toward midnight, people start pairing off into couples. The band finished their last set and music is now provided by Castiel’s iPod. Overall, it’s been a good night. Castiel’s body aches in a good way from too much dancing. The smile on his face is still in place as he watches everyone enjoy themselves. Gabriel jumps up on stage and helps Kali up. “It’s almost time to welcome the New Year; grab your special person, or hell, grab the one standing by you. We don’t judge.”

Strong arms wrap around Castiel’s waist from behind, he leans his head back on Dean’s shoulder.

“Alright guys, let’s do this, ten, nine, eight…” The crowd joins in the countdown. “Seven, six, five, four…” Castiel turns around in Dean’s arms and places a hand on the back of his boyfriend’s neck. “Three, two one…”

“Happy New Year, Dean,” Castiel says as he pulls Dean down, their lips brushing together. Each boy turns their faces slightly so they can deepen the kiss. It seems time has stopped; it’s just the two of them in the room, even though they can hear everyone around them singing. Confetti rains down on them from above.  It’s perfect and Castiel never wants this to end.  

**Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and auld Lang Syne! For auld Lang Syne, my dear, for auld Lang Syne. We'll take a cup o' kindness yet, For auld Lang Syne.**

Dean breaks the kiss, smiling softly at Castiel, “Happy New Year, Cas.”

[Fun - We Are Young ](https://youtu.be/Sv6dMFF_yts)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!! [Airport Novels](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOPYgfVcZsOf3xABVECH_FA/) is a real band based out of Lawrence, Kansas. Shawnie and I have the pleasure of knowing these awesome boys.  
> [My Tumblr](http://spnsassysides.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Epilogue to come soon. Possibly a couple timestamps.
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	17. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Shawnie, you're an amazing editor!!!
> 
> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> Warning possible slurs in different chapters.  
> Enjoy the chapter!!
> 
>  

_[This is not the way into my heart](https://youtu.be/mEfKooMunLI), into my head, into my brain, into none of the above. This is just my way of unleashing the feelings deep inside of me, this spark of black that I seem to love. We can get a little crazy just for fun, just for fun. Don't even try to hold it back. Just let go. Tie me up and take me over till you're done. Till I'm done. You've got me feening and I'm ready to blow. Push up to my body, sink your teeth into my flesh. Get undressed, ta-taste the flesh. Bite into me harder; sink your teeth into my flesh. Pass the test, ta-taste the flesh. Hold me up against the wall. Give it till I beg, give me some more, make me bleed, I like it rough. Like it rough, rough, rough. Push up to my body; sink your teeth into my flesh. Hold my hands above my head, and push my face into the bed. Cause I'm a screamer baby, make me a mute. You put your hand upon my neck and feel the pulse beat, beat, beat, beat. It's like a trigger, get me ready to shoot…_

“Fuck, Cas…”

Castiel smiles against his boyfriend’s skin, his tongue laving at the dip in Dean’s clavicle, tasting the sweat that has collected there. He moves his lips down to Dean’s nipple, sucking it into his mouth, worrying it with his teeth. Dean arches his back into the contact. “Be still,” Castiel whispers, as he flicks his tongue over the hard bud and adds a second, lubed finger inside his boyfriend. A litany of curses falls from Dean’s lips through moans.  Slowly torturing his boyfriend has quickly become one of Castiel’s favorite parts of their sex life. Dean falling apart under his hands is almost like an addiction; it’s intoxicating.  He pulls back and blows his warm breath over the abused skin.

“Shit, Cas, you trying to kill me?”

Ignoring Dean’s words, Castiel trails his tongue down, slowly, feeling the bump of ribs as he moves over them. His fingers scissoring his boyfriend open, crooking them, he finds what he’s looking for, and Dean’s body arches again. “Be still,” Castiel reprimands his boyfriend again, a sharp edge to his voice, “or I’ll stop.”

“Fuck you, Cas,” Dean bites out, his hands grasping at the sheets, seeking purchase.

Castiel nips at the flesh under his mouth, “Hush, Dean, or I’ll use a gag.” His boyfriend only whimpers in response as Castiel’s mouth goes back to its ministrations. Castiel nibbles on the skin under Dean’s belly button, watching the muscles flutter in response. It sends a rush of heat through Castiel’s body, a natural high that he never tires of. His fingers continue their in and out drag, as he adds a third inside the warmth of Dean. Moving his mouth down lower, he avoids the hard, leaking cock that he knows wants nothing more than to be devoured. He bites the inside of Dean’s thigh, feeling the boy shake with the deep moan that fills the thick air around them.

“C-Cas, please,” begs Dean, his voice completely wrecked, the sound adding more fuel to the fire burning deep inside Castiel.

As much as he wants to continue the slow torture, he’s eighteen, and if he does continue, it will be over before it really begins. His free hand finds the condom he left on the bed, ripping open the foil with his teeth. He rolls it down his length, then gently pulling his fingers free, he flips both of them at once. Scooting up the bed so his back is against the headboard, he helps Dean straddle his thighs, and then positions his cock as his boyfriend lowers his body. Castiel bites his bottom lip as he feels his himself breach past the tight muscle.  His hands hold Dean’s hips in place, both of them panting. “Shit,” he breathes out when Dean moves again, slowly, inch by inch, until his cock is sheathed to the hilt. His boyfriend doesn’t move for a few minutes, giving Castiel time to tie Dean’s already bound hands to the headboard. Feeling Dean’s body relax, Castiel commands him with a simple, “Move.”

His grip on Dean’s body grows a little tighter, his fingers biting into the soft flesh; bruising it, no doubt. Dean rolls his hips, obeying without question as another deep moan falls from his lips. Castiel thrusts up, meeting his boyfriend halfway. All too soon, they’re lost in the feeling of their bodies moving in sync. Castiel leans his head against Dean’s chest, his mouth moving to suck on the flesh, bringing blood to the surface. The feeling is thrilling, the fact he can mark his boyfriend and Dean loves every one of them. Sweat beads up and drips down Dean’s body, making Castiel’s face wet where it’s resting against him. Castiel moves his hand, wrapping his arm around Dean, pulling him impossibly closer. His other hand moves in between the space of their bodies, wrapping around Dean’s cock. He times the movement of his hand to match the rhythm of their thrusts, Dean’s pre-cum providing enough lube to make Castiel’s stokes fluid as he twists his wrist on the upward movement.

Castiel thrusts up, holding Dean down to bury himself even deeper inside his boyfriend. He feels that familiar heat curl up deep down in his stomach; he’s not going to last much longer, but he hangs on. Dean’s panting is harsher, coming more rapidly.  The quick rise and fall of his chest a sign of his impending orgasm. Castiel’s pace quickens, his hand never losing sync with his thrusts, “Come, Dean, come for me,” he breathes out against Dean’s heated skin. He turns his face to sink his teeth into the flesh of his boyfriend once again; not enough to bring blood, but enough to tether on the tightrope of pleasure and pain. Castiel feels his boyfriend’s body go ridged; just a few more strokes and Dean’s spilling over Castiel’s hand, the warmth hitting his own chest.  

Dean’s head falls to rest on Castiel’s shoulder as he wraps his other arm around the boy above him. Moving his boyfriend’s body in time with his, a few more thrusts has him falling over that edge, into the intoxicating abyss of his release. Dean has enough presence of mind to work Castiel through his orgasm as a litany of praise tumbles off Castiel’s tongue. Soon, their bodies collapse against the bed after Castiel unties Dean’s wrists. Their breathing still too rapid to speak, Castiel curls himself behind Dean and places his arm around the boy’s waist. He is vaguely aware of the music changing, sounding muffled, and a whisper of an ‘I love you’ into the darkness, as he drifts off into a deep sleep.

* * *

“I can’t believe we are two months from graduation,” Charlie pipes up, talking over the music playing in the living room. They are sitting on the floor, surrounded by books, studying for what feels like hours.

Castiel looks up from his paper, smiling, “It’s crazy, huh, Red?”

Zara’s shoulder bumps Dean, who is sitting by her, “It’s about damn time, though.”

Dean just nods in response. Castiel hasn’t missed the fact that his boyfriend has been quiet lately. He’s not sure why, but he doesn’t want to press the issue. He knows Dean will eventually say what’s on his mind, and it’s better not to poke at it. Castiel learned that the hard way.  It caused a few fights, nothing big or anything that they hadn’t been able to work out.

Closing his book, Castiel stands, stretching like a cat, “I’m starving.  Anyone up for pizza?”

“Hell yes,” Charlie and Zara reply in unison, then break out into giggles.

The corners of Castiel’s mouth lift in a smile, “Do you practice that?”

Charlie’s eyebrow lifts in question, “Practice what, Chewie?”

Castiel shakes his head, “Nothing, Han, never mind.” His eyes flick to the boy sitting on the floor, who still hasn’t answered. “Dean,” Castiel says, trying to gain his boyfriend’s attention.

Looking up from his book, “Yeah,” Dean says around the pen that’s resting in his mouth.

Shaking his head, because it’s obvious Dean hasn’t been paying attention, Castiel smiles, “I asked if pizza sounds good.”

Sighing, Dean stands up and packs away his stuff in his backpack. “Nah, I’m good. I need to get home anyway. Mom is working late tonight and I need to get back to the house with Sam.”

Castiel tilts his head; something is definitely off with his boyfriend. “Well, we can go and pick him up, if you want.”  

Dean flicks his eyes to the ground, “Nah, I’m tired, just going to finish this up later.” Dean walks over to his boyfriend and lightly kisses him on the cheek. “I’ll text you later.” With that, he slips past Castiel and heads out the door.

Zara raises an eyebrow, “Okay, um, what’s up with him?”   

Castiel turns back around from watching Dean through the window. “Beats me.  He’s been acting off lately.” Walking over to the couch, he sits down and places his head in his hands.

“He’ll come around, Castiel,” Charlie says softly. “Give him time.”

* * *

He doesn’t hear from Dean that night, nor the next day.  As a matter of fact, Castiel doesn’t hear from Dean for the rest of the week. He knows Dean has been at school because he’s seen him in the hallways, but it seems like the boy is flat out avoiding him. The only time they have contact is through text. Castiel hasn’t pushed the issue; after all, it’s been stressful with everything going on at school. At the end of the school on Friday, Castiel’s patience has worn thin. He shoots a text off to Dean, requesting that he drop by his house. In addition, he reassures they will be alone and ends it with we need to talk.

At home, Castiel paces back and forth waiting for his boyfriend’s arrival, if Dean even shows up that is. Ten minutes later he hears the unmistakable growl of the Impala’s engine and steels himself, for what, he’s not sure. Castiel stops dead in the middle of the living room when Dean walks through the door.

“Hey,” Dean says softly as he brushes a kiss on Castiel’s cheek.

“Hey yourself,” Castiel replies, turning his back on Dean, walks over to the couch and sits down. “We need to-”

“Talk.  Yeah, I got that,” Dean finishes for him. He joins Castiel, sitting with a little distance between them.

Castiel doesn’t know if that is a good or a bad sign, and honestly, he doesn’t know how to start this conversation. “So, uh,” he begins, and since when has he not been able to form a coherent sentence? “I really don’t know how to start this, so I’ll just jump right in. Why have you been acting weird lately?”

“I haven’t,” Dean starts to protest.

Castiel turns to where he’s facing his boyfriend, pulling his leg up to rest on the cushion. “You have,” he replies. “Look, I won’t push you to talk to me. I just want to know what I did wrong.”

Dean’s eyes flick up to meet Castiel’s, “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not you, it’s me.” Once he realizes what he said he clarifies, “I didn’t mean that in a breaking up sense. I’ve just had a lot on my mind.” He takes a breath, his fingers playing with the hem of his t-shirt. “It’s just been crazy with graduation coming up, deciding what college to go to; if I even go.”

“I get that,” Castiel says, he pulls his bottom lip in and starts worrying it with his teeth. “I feel like there’s something else bothering you.”

Dean doesn’t answer right away, just sits there, his hand still messing with his shirt. Castiel knows it’s a nervous tick of his boyfriend’s, and he wants nothing more than to be able to ease Dean’s mind. “Nah, really, I’m good.”

Castiel reaches out and takes Dean’s hand, squeezing it, “Dean, does it-” he stops himself briefly. He remembers the night they had sex and Dean’s whisper of ‘I love you’. At first, he thought he was just dreaming, but now that he thinks about it, maybe Dean actually said it. That would make sense of why his boyfriend has been acting off. Maybe because he didn’t say it back. Quite possibly the fact that Dean said it at all is throwing the boy’s mood off. Neither one of them has brought it up so now seems like a good time, he just has to choose his words carefully. “Does it have anything to do with the other night?”

Dean’s eyes flicker, swirling with confusion in the green depths. When he realizes what Castiel is referring to, something else flashes in them; fear maybe? Shit, they are only eighteen; that would scare the hell out of any guy their age. Dean chews on his bottom lip before sucking in a deep breath, “I- well, I,” he tries to form words, but is unable to. Dean’s free hand goes up and rubs at the back of his neck.

Castiel decides to throw his boyfriend a lifeline, smiling, he says, “I know; me too.”

The fear is still in Dean’s eyes, but they soften as he smiles, “Yeah?”

Castiel huffs a laugh, “Yeah, I do.”

Chewing on his bottom lip, Dean sighs, “Really?”

“Yes, babe, really,” Castiel replies, he knows this is a big deal to his boyfriend. Eventually, in time, Dean will believe him.

Castiel leans forward and places a chaste kiss on Dean’s lips. “What do you say we go grab Sam, Jess, the redheads, and go out to the lake?”

His boyfriend huffs a laugh, “Sounds like a plan, let’s go.”

* * *

_[Yeah, I'm chillin' on a dirt road.](https://youtu.be/Lb9q1ScC4cg) Laid back swervin' like I'm George Jones. Smoke rollin' out the window. An ice cold beer sittin' in the console, memory lane up in the headlights. It's got me reminiscing on them good times. I'm turnin' off a real life drive and that's right. I'm hittin' easy street on mud tires._

Castiel shakes his head at the music blasting from the speakers in his truck. “Jason Aldean, really, Zara,” he asks, plopping down next to his friend on the bank of the lake.

“Don’t hate on Aldean; that man is sexy.” Zara flicks him on the ear.

“It could be worse,” Charlie pipes up, “I could play Calvin Harris.”

“Red, I swear, I’ll throw you in the lake if you even attempt to play anything by him,” Dean comments. Castiel looks up at his boyfriend and sees the mischief flicker in his green eyes and he knows what’s about to happen. Deans picks the redhead up and tosses her over his shoulder, then takes off running full-speed down the dock, hitting the water with a loud splash. When they surface, Charlie splashes Dean in the face.

“You’re an asshole,” Charlie accuses, splashing more water at Dean.

Dean throws his head back in laughter, “Yeah, but you love me.”

* * *

As the light starts to fade that cool spring night, the group of friends gathers around a fire they built earlier. Castiel leans back against Dean’s chest, taking in his boyfriend’s scent. They’re both shirtless; their shorts now dry after swimming in the lake.

“So, Cas, what are we going to do after graduation,” Zara asks, snuggling under a thin blanket with Charlie.

Castiel smirks, “The same thing we do every night, Pinky, try to take over the world.” He hears Dean laughing behind him, the vibration from it spreading through his own body. Castiel tips his head back and captures Dean’s lips in a soft kiss. Once their lips separate, he looks across at his friends, “Seriously, though, who cares what we do? It’s college, we’re supposed to mess up, change majors a million times, go to way too many parties, and wonder how we survived the next day. As long as I have all of you, I’m good. I’m just going to take it one day at a time.”

“I’ve decided I’m going to KU,” Dean says as he rests his chin on Castiel’s shoulder. “I figure giving it a try won’t hurt me any.”

Castiel reaches around and runs his fingers through the back of his boyfriend's hair, “That’s great, babe, you’ll do fine.”

“How can you have that much faith in me?” Dean asks quietly.

Castiel smiles, “Because you have faith in me. You, Dean Winchester, are going to do great things in life.”

Dean moves his face, kissing Castiel on the temple, “I love you, Cas,” he whispers.

Taking Dean’s hand that is resting on his thigh, he threads their fingers together and says softly, “I love you, Dean.”  

Castiel’s eyes find Sam and Jess sitting off to the side; the shaggy-haired boy is smiling at something Jess has whispered. He watches as Sam leans forward and kisses Jess softly.

“Way to go, Sammy, that’s my boy,” Dean calls out.

The younger Winchester blushes furiously, “Shut up, Dean,” he replies.

As his friends laugh at the brothers, Castiel realizes how far he’s come this year. If someone asked him a year ago if he thought he would be truly happy by graduation, he would have said no. Now, though, there’s no doubt how quickly he would answer in the affirmative. He decided to attend college at KU’s campus in Lawrence, so he’ll remain at home instead of living in the dorms. He has his two best friends, and those girls have been with him through everything. His family, Hester, and Lucifer are working on a closer relationship with him. He hasn’t spoken with Michael since the night he punched him, and Castiel is more than okay with that. Gabriel, well, he’s still the same old Gabriel. Always finding ways to prank or irritate the hell out of Castiel, but he knows his brother loves him. There’s no doubt about that. Soon, he will have a new addition to the family, Kali and Gabe announced over dinner the other night that they are expecting. They moved their wedding date up to a month after Castiel graduates.

Castiel is still going to therapy regularly, and sometimes Dean goes with him. Dean was hesitant at first, but after he met Pamela, he’s been more willing anytime she asks. Castiel’s relationship with Dean is still going strong.  Yeah, they’ve had fights, but what couples don’t? The most important thing is that Dean supports Castiel in anything he does; Castiel does the same for him. Sam is like the little brother Castiel never had but always wanted. The two still get along well and share many of the same interests. Mary fusses over Castiel as if he is one of her own; Castiel truly loves that woman with all his heart. Castiel knows his family is small, but each one of them fits perfectly in the crazy puzzle that is his life. Life might not always be easy, but he knows that whatever it throws at him, he won’t face it alone. Castiel’s eyes scan over each one of his friends, the people he loves, all singing along to the radio. Their voices are horribly off key, but he can see the happiness shining in their eyes. In that moment Castiel realizes, nothing will come between them. They’re the people he can truly count on; they have blocked every obstacle in their way and won the game. In chess, they call that Checkmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, wow, it's done. Thank you to everyone who has read, commented, gave kudos. You kept me pushing through writer's block time after time. We've come a long way together and now it's time to say bye to these boys. I may revisit them through time stamps if the inspiration hits. I hope you've enjoyed this. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Seriously thank you to everyone who reads, you're amazing!!!  
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


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